


Matt? Really?

by CNWinters



Category: Guiding Light, Otalia - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/F, F/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-16
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 18:36:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 74,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CNWinters/pseuds/CNWinters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Olivia decides to go out with Matt after Natalia has returned from her retreat, but Natalia has other plans for their evening. This story was written based on spoilers during the final weeks of Guiding Light so some of my 'guesses' were correct. Others were off based but hopefully entertaining just the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PART ONE

Chapter One

"Matt? Really?" Natalia asked, unable to hide the incredulous tone in her voice. "You're going on a date with Bicycle Matt?"

Olivia and Natalia sat side-by-side at the counter at Company, each with a mug in their hand.

"You said it yourself, he's cute."

Natalia grinned devilishly at Olivia. "So…" she licked her lips playfully, "I gotta know…seat or handlebars?"

The seductive gesture wasn't lost on the older woman, but she pushed her budding arousal way.

"What?" Olivia asked instead.

"I was just curious. When he picks you up tonight for this date," Natalia went on, "do you have to sit on his seat or the handlebars?"

Olivia grinned. "I didn't ask."

"A gentleman would give you the seat. I'D give you the seat," Natalia teased. "I'm just saying…"

Blake came over with the coffee pot and freshened up Natalia's cup.

Olivia grinned wickedly. "Maybe I'd like the adventure of his handlebars. That way I can watch the world around me while being on top of his rod."

"What the hell?" Blake muttered.

Natalia laughed. "Oh please," she began as she ignored Blake's presence and looked at Olivia, "we both know you're not interested in Matt's rod."

Although her waitress duty was done, Blake still stood behind the bar listening to them both.

"What am I missing?" Blake asked.

"Olivia's trying to make me jealous by dating Matt," Natalia offered.

"Matt? Really?" Blake asked and then shrugged.

"Noooooo," Olivia began, "OLIVIA" she said stressing her own name, "is getting on with her life and she's dating a man who's eco-friendly. Anyway, I'm sure he has a car."

"It's probably a Prius," Natalia mumbled to Blake, who simply grinned.

"So he's a little…green. So what?" Olivia rebutted. "That's not a bad thing, Ms. 'Leave Every Light On in the Farmhouse' Rivera."

"Two lights! One in the kitchen and nightlight in the living room! That's it!"

"And like you really need that?" Olivia asked. She then turned to Blake. "It's like a 60 watt bulb that lights up the entire living room to the point that you can see the light under the bedroom doors."

"It is not!" Natalia argued her case. "It's a nightlight that's maybe 10 watts and I need some light since we live in the middle of nowhere."

"We? I don't live there anymore, remember?" Olivia jabbed.

"I'm working on fixing that, you know?"

Olivia didn't hear the remark because she was talking over Natalia. "I tried to come back, but you didn't want me." Olivia released a heavy sigh as if she regretted the words. Still, she didn't take them back. "I need to get ready for tonight," she said as she grabbed her purse and swiftly made her way out the door.

A moment of quiet passed between Natalia and Blake.

"You can't let her date Matt," Blake told her. "She still loves you, but she's hurting. She might do something you both regret."

"I know she loves me," Natalia answered. "She's said as much. The problem is she doesn't trust me anymore and really I can't blame her…I don't want her to date anybody who isn't me – Matt, or anyone... But what can I do when she's got her mind made up."

"Convince her otherwise. You have to fight for her, Natalia."

"And just how do I do that? Tap Matt on the shoulder and then let loose for 'hitting on my woman'?"

Blake grinned. "Well, I don't suggest you walk up and sucker punch Matt, no, but…"

"But what?"

"Why don't you knock Olivia off her feet tonight? Metaphorically, of course."

"How?"

Blake grinned wickedly.

Chapter Two

Olivia walked into Towers and immediately went to the bar. She noticed Doris sitting at the end and made her way over after ordering 'the usual.'

"So what brings you out tonight, Ms. Spencer?" Doris asked.

"I have a date," Olivia announced proudly.

"Finally," she sighed. "I was wondering how long it'd take before Natalia was out of the doghouse."

"It's not Natalia. It's Matt," Olivia replied. She tried to sound hopeful, but it came out more like a shameful confession.

"Matt? Really?" Doris asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking that? He's a nice guy."

"So is Frank Cooper, but I don't see you dating him. Oh wait – you tried and then ended up with his dad. And then-."

"Yes, yes," Olivia said sarcastically. "We all know the story."

Doris smirked.

"Look, Mike is a great man," Olivia insisted.

"You mean Matt," Doris correct.

"Right. What did I say?"

"You called him Mike. Rule number one – if you can't remember your date's name, chances are it's not gonna end well."

"It was just a slip-up, okay? I'm a little nervous, that's all."

Doris smiled. "You do denial better than most people. And that's saying something because I've met lots of liars in the criminal justice system and government. Now, you might not take first prize, Sweetie, but you ARE a ribbon winner for sure."

"You're just full of lines tonight, aren't you?"

Doris raised her drink. "And scotch," she added. The bartender brought Olivia her three-olive martini. "Now take Rebecca here," Doris continued as she motioned to the bartender. "I remember HER name."

Rebecca glanced up shyly and blushed. "Is there anything else you desire Mayor Wolfe?" she asked mischievously averting Doris's gaze.

Doris paused. She didn't answer immediately and it forced the younger woman to finally look her way for an answer. "Yes, what time are you off tonight?"

The bartender turned even redder. "Midnight," she replied. "Did you have something in mind?"

"Lots of things actually," Doris replied and then handed her a twenty dollar bill. "Put her drink on my tab please," she said motioning to Olivia's drink. "She's a friend – JUST a friend."

"A friend of yours is a friend of mine," the bartender told Doris as she reached out and shook Olivia's hand.

"See?" Doris told Olivia as Rebecca went back to work. "We're everywhere. You and Nat will fit in perfect."

"There is no 'me and Nat'," Olivia insisted. "She broke my heart. I love her but how can I live with her? How can I build a life with her not knowing that the next crisis means she'll leave me again? And Emma? It's one thing to rip out my heart, but… she was Em's other 'mommie' here, ya know?" Olivia sighed. "Maybe you don't know."

"I remember," Doris said, sounding far off in thought. "I had a 'special friend' once that Ashley really liked. Someone that I…well, it wasn't Brando worthy love like you screaming to the heavens, but…it was the closest I ever got. And maybe one day it might have been."

"What happened?" Olivia asked.

"I got scared," Doris replied. "I loved her but…she scared me – not physically or emotionally. She wasn't abusive. In fact, she was quite the opposite…I just…I couldn't let my guard down. I had to protect Ashley from the ridicule and the whispers and the stares – at least in my mind I did. Then, of course, in doing that I think I might have kept her from having a family…well, something besides just me. You know?"

"I'm sorry," Olivia replied.

"Me too," Doris replied. She seemed to shake off the memory and turned to Olivia. "Don't let fear ruin you, Olivia. Not like it did me. Nights with Rebecca are great, sure, but…I wish I was brave enough to have more."

"Olivia?"

The hotelier looked up to see Matt begin to make his way over. Olivia shared a glance with Doris who simply rolled her eyes and took a drink of her scotch and soda. As Matt and Olivia found a table Doris opened up her cell phone and pressed a button.

"They're here," was all she said before hanging up.

Chapter Three

"Doris called," Blake said as she shut her phone. "That means you're off to Towers."

Blake paused and looked up from her seat at the edge of Natalia's bed as if appraising Natalia. "You know, Sweetie, if this doesn't have any affect on Liv get a shovel because you'll need to bury her." Only the sound of Natalia's giggle could be heard. "Really. I'm straight, but… damn girl." Blake rose up and motioned for Natalia to follow her.

Shortly later at Towers, Matt and Olivia sat across from each other at one of the four seat tables, looking at the menu.

"How about mozzarella sticks?" Matt asked.

"Ehhh," Olivia replied, obviously not impressed. "Emma loves them, but I'm more of a stuffed grape leaves gal myself. I like my food a little more…grown up."

Matt chuckled. "Whatever the lady wants, the lady gets," he said with a smile.

"See Liv?" a voice said from behind Olivia. "There really is a man in the world who knows all the right answers."

"Hey, Natalia," Matt said, obviously happy to see her. "You look wonderful."

Olivia still hadn't turned around yet. In fact, she closed her eyes briefly as if trying to steady herself for what might be behind her. Finally getting the courage, she looked over her shoulder and her mouth dropped open slightly.

The bluish-purple dress had a v-shape neckline, which showed off Natalia's cleavage beautifully. However, the dress wasn't clingy and it flowed at the waistline. It took a moment, but Olivia realized she recognized the dress. Natalia had worn it to the 'Two mommies' presentation at Emma's school.

There were a few differences though in her appearance. Natalia's hair was down instead of up. Her long mane looked full as curl after curl tickled the woman's bust line. Her eye make-up was thicker than usual, creating a bedroom/smoke eyes effect and they bore into Olivia's with unspoken intent. Matt's voice, however, brought Olivia back to reality.

"It's been awhile," he said. "Frank mentioned you were at a retreat, right?"

"Yeah, I just got in a few days ago actually. I've spent most of my time today looking for a few extra jobs I might take. Not working for over a month has me playing catch up on my bills. Of course the farmhouse is safe since some wonderful, rich, anonymous benefactor paid it off in full." With the last sentence she distinctly looked at Olivia with a twinge of annoyance.

"You bought the farm?" Matt asked Olivia.

Olivia chuckled. "Overlooking the double entendre of that statement, yes. Yes, when it comes to Natalia, I bought the farm."

"Yeah," Natalia continued and then looked back at Matt. "Seems like every two years or so Olivia, decides, 'Hey, I'm going to buy Natalia a house.' It seems the better we know each other, the bigger the houses seem to be that I get from her." Olivia began to take a drink of her water, not commenting on what Natalia was saying. "At this rate, I'm convinced I'll get the Spaulding Mansion when I sleep with her."

Matt and Natalia both burst out laughing and Olivia began to choke on her water. Natalia rubbed Olivia's back and leaned down so her bust was level with Olivia's line of sight.

"You okay?" Natalia asked.

Olivia's eyes couldn't seem to make up their mind where to look – Natalia's 'come and get me' eyes or the tantalizing cleavage. She still sounded horse when she croaked, "Went down the wrong pipe." She then let out a small cough and sounded a bit more normal. "I'm good."

Natalia then rose and turned to Matt. "I've told her – at the very least – that I want to take her to dinner to say thank you. But she's such a good Samaritan that she'll have none of that."

"Well, we've got her captive now," Matt offered. "Have a seat Natalia."

As if it were even humanly possible, Natalia smiled even wider at Matt's invitation. Before she could sit down though Olivia moved to her feet.

"Will you excuse us a moment, Matt? You know how gals have to go to the ladies room in pairs." Before Matt could utter a response, Olivia had Natalia by the elbow, leading her into the ladies room.

"Okay," Olivia began once they entered. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"What?" Natalia asked in mock-innocence.

"You've invited your way into my date."

"Did you or did you not pay for our farmhouse?"

"Your farmhouse," Olivia corrected.

"Oh fine, my farmhouse," Natalia said, not wanting to fight. "Did you or did you not-?"

"YES, I did!"

"Then I think you can at least let me buy you dinner. After all, I didn't ask you to buy it."

"Look you might have lost it in foreclosure. I couldn't let that happen. You love that house."

"No, I love the memories of what the two of us created in that house…" Natalia trailed off. "You do too, which is why you bought it."

Olivia seemed speechless again so she relented instead. "Yes. I have great memories there, but you still needed a place to live if you came home. You could take me to dinner any other night. You didn't have to horn in on my date."

"No, no, no, no," Natalia insisted. "Matt invited ME to join you guys."

Olivia ignored the remark and instead began to wave her hands up and down, pointing to Natalia's dress. "And really – what is this?"

"You like it?" Natalia asked as she adjusted her bust line. "First day you kissed me I was wearing this, remember?"

"Yes, I do."

"Although your reasoning for kissing me was a poor excuse, I have to say… it was still one HECK of a kiss."

Olivia seemed unsure of how to answer at first and she stammered a little before she said, "So the dress and the eyes and the hair and the…" she motioned toward Natalia's breasts but trailed off. "… this is how you dress when you go looking for odd jobs?"

"Depends on the job. Tonight I'm on a not-so-covert mission. It's covert to Matt, of course, but hopefully you're getting the message loud and clear."

Olivia let out a ragged sigh. "Please just go home. Please."

Natalia seemed to consider the request.

"Hmmm…no, not on your life. I'm not leaving you alone with Matt or any other man… or any other woman for that matter."

"Why can't you just let me be?" Olivia practically begged.

Natalia took a step closer to Olivia. "You know why…" She let the sentence hang for a moment and then she moved as close to Olivia's ear as possible without actually touching it.

"You belong to me."

Olivia swallowed hard and Natalia left the ladies room without another word.

Chapter Four

Matt rose up as he saw Natalia approach. She took the inside chair next to Olivia's vacated spot.

"Did you both order yet?" Natalia asked Matt.

"Just looking at an appetizer," Matt replied as he sat back down. The act of sitting though was short lived as he watched Olivia come back over. He rose in a gentlemanly fashion again, but this time Natalia followed suit upon seeing Olivia too.

"How gallant," Olivia said and then added, "…of you both."

It was Natalia, however, who pulled out Olivia's chair for her since she was closer. When Olivia sat down only then did Natalia and Matt each take their seats again.

"So appetizers, eh?" Natalia continued. "She wants grape leaves I bet."

Matt smiled. "Yes, actually she did mention that."

"She likes the calamari here too," Natalia offered.

"Why don't you just give away all my secrets?" Olivia commented.

"Not any different than you telling Frank all of my favorite foods," Natalia muttered from behind her menu at Olivia. "So tell me Matt," she said louder lowering the menu. "What's your favorite dish here?"

"I've heard good things about Towers, but I don't eat very much here," he confessed. "What do you ladies like?"

"Linguini," Natalia and Olivia both said at the same time and in the same matter of fact tone. The three of them then laughed.

"All together now," Matt said with a smile.

"All the pasta dishes are pretty good," Olivia added.

"Look at that," Natalia said as she pointed to Matt.

"What?" Olivia and Matt both asked.

"I never noticed before, but he's got dimples." She turned to Olivia and said, "You gotta thing for dimples, don't you?"

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked.

Natalia pointed at him while looking at Olivia.

"Matt's got dimples. Bill Lewis has KILLER dimples. Even Phillip has dimples too. Not sure about Alan though – has he ever smiled? Like a genuine smile; not something maniacal?"

Matt laughed and even Olivia had to laugh in spite of herself.

"Can we not talk about my ex's and dimples please," Olivia answered, "And for the record, Alan does have a dimple in his right cheek."

"You know. You've got dimples too," Matt mentioned to Natalia. "But yours look much more lovelier than mine," he complimented.

"Ya think?" Natalia replied but made sure to look over at Olivia. "So in the big 'dimple off' who wins, Liv? Me or Matt?"

"I'm-in-hell," Olivia mumbled so quickly it sounded like a single word.

"You know, Matt," Natalia said letting her off the hook somewhat. "Olivia has a little dimple in her left cheek," Natalia said to Matt as she pointed at Olivia.

"Really? I-I hadn't noticed," Matt confessed.

"Yep, right there," she said, gently taking Olivia's check between her thumb and her index finger.

"You're making me self-conscious," Olivia told Natalia in a singsong voice. "Please stop."

"Oh, don't act modest," Natalia said as she pulled her hand away, but still making a lingering, stroking motions with her fingertips. "You know you love the attention and adoration of everyone who finds you stunningly beautiful."

At that moment, the waitress walked up.

"Thank God," Olivia sighed quietly. "I'm starving. Do you guys know what you want?"

"Why don't we start with the grape leaves and the calamari?" Matt asked the duo across from him who answered in the affirmative. "And then Linguini all around you think?"

Olivia and Natalia both agreed and handed over their menus to the waitress.

"I, uh, I could use another martini," Olivia replied.

"Better make it a double. She seems a little tense tonight." Natalia leaned over to talk to the waitress. That gave her the mobility to caress Olivia's leg under the table totally unobserved by anyone else.

At least not until the table jerked upward and Olivia shot to her feet like she was on fire.

Chapter Five

"So how's it going?" Blake asked as she belled up to the bar, taking a spot next to Doris.

"Ms. Rivera is laying it on pretty thick," Doris replied. "Olivia just about jumped out of her skin when she put her hand on her knee – at least I think that's where her hand went. I really can't see from here. Of course, like most men in Springfield, Matt seems oblivious to what's happening in front of him."

Blake giggled as Rebecca the bartender came over. She looked Blake up and down appraisingly and then noted the close proximity Blake had with Doris. Although the entire bar was open, Blake opted to sit right next to Doris, elbow to elbow.

"You want something?" Rebecca asked in a short tone.

"Uhhh," Blake stuttered, unsure of why she was getting such an unfriendly reception. "Rum and coke, please."

As Rebecca walked way Blake pitched a thumb in her direction. "What's her problem?"

Doris just shrugged and watched as Olivia and Natalia walk toward the restrooms together.

The mayor smiled. "At this point I think Matt's going to wonder if Olivia has an overactive bladder," Doris quipped.

Blake grinned. "How many times have they left so far?"

"This makes the second time and they haven't gotten their appetizers yet. I figure by the third time perhaps Matt would get a clue and call it a night."

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the bathroom," Blake said. Then she paused. "That sounds pretty disgusting now that I think about it."

"Don't worry - I know what you mean," Doris assured her, patting her hand in support. "In fact…"

"What?"

"We could go… hang out, I mean."

"In the ladies room?"

"NEAR the ladies room."

Both women paused, not saying or doing a thing. Suddenly, they both jumped up at the same time, leaving their bar stools.

At the same time, Olivia and Natalia were in the ladies room.

"Josh Lewis!" Natalia exclaimed.

"What?!" Olivia asked as she followed behind her.

"I think he's got dimples too!"

"Would you forget the dimples?! My God, woman! You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" Olivia asked.

"No, but I know I've got two choices," Natalia told her talking Olivia's face in her hands. Olivia tried to turn away, but Natalia kept a firm grasp on her. "Listen to me please." Olivia didn't resist. "I could walk away and take 'no' for an answer. Orrrr…" she drawled out, "I can fight with everything I have to win back your confidence."

Olivia teared up, but Natalia pressed on.

"I know you Olivia; better than anyone. I know how much I've hurt you and how vulnerable you feel. It's much easier for you to put up a wall than let me inside again. But the bottom line is I AM coming in. Whether it's now or years from now. It doesn't matter… I'll work my way back in. The sixteen years I spent pining for Gus will be a drop in the well compared to what I'd do for you. And the reason is simple."

Olivia didn't speak, but her eyes pleaded for a response and Natalia answered the call.

"Because I love you – Olivia Spencer – with all my heart and soul and you, my dear, are by far the sexiest mother fucker that God put on this planet."

Olivia's mouth dropped slightly and the air in her lungs seemed to leave all at once.

"Wellll," Natalia amended, "you're not a mother fucker…at least not yet… but I'm workin' on that."

"Goodness alive," Olivia said finding her voice. "Who are you and where is Natalia Rivera?" Olivia asked in disbelief.

Natalia chuckled and took Olivia by the waist, pulling her closer. "She's right here for the taking – just like she's always been, Liv."

Olivia's mouth opened and closed three times before she asked, "What did those nuns do to you?"

Natalia giggled, but the next noise they both heard was the flush of a toilet.

"I don't think we're alone," Natalia whispered.

Olivia gave her a silent look of 'You don't say.'

Chapter Six

Upon hearing the cackle from behind the closed stall door, Olivia closed her eyes.

"Dear God no," she muttered.

The door swiftly opened and Reva strolled out. She walked over to the sink not saying a word as she turned on the faucet.

"One," Olivia told her as she held up her finger. "You get one crack, Reva."

Reva continued to wash her hands and finally asked, "Just one?"

"Just one," Olivia replied.

"I gotta think about this one carefully. So many ways I could go with this," she said as she dried her hands off with a paper towel. Suddenly it looked as though a light bulb went off and she said, "Ah ha!" She cleared her throat. "You know they say Olivia's slept with half of Springfield. I guess it's true when they say that she's finally working on the other half. Bam!"

Reva made a jabbing motion and Olivia just grinned and nodded.

"Not bad," Olivia complimented.

"You know they say-," Reva began again.

"Nah-ah," Olivia tisked. "Just one."

"But I've got so many now," the blonde whined.

"Save it," Olivia told her.

Reva looked at the two of them. "So… you and Olivia?" she said to Natalia.

Natalia nodded. "Yes, but she's here on a date with Matt tonight."

"Matt? Really?" Reva asked Olivia. The hotelier sighed heavily in response. "I don't swing that way," Reva went on, "but between the two of them… go with her."

Natalia grinned her thanks.

"Yeah, scoring points with Reva really doesn't work in your favor with me," Olivia replied to Natalia.

Reva smiled. "Besides if you go gay Olivia then I won't ever have to worry about you trying to steal any of my men."

"I'm not gay," Olivia insisted.

"The love of your life just happens to be a woman, is that it?" Reva asked.

Olivia didn't seem to know if she should answer that question or not. Finally she said, "Yes."

Reva pursed her lips and then nodded as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That sounds pretty gay to me," she retorted.

"Argghhh," Olivia growled. "My date is waiting for me."

Olivia briskly crossed the bathroom and opened the door to see Doris and Blake nearly fall inside the room.

"Hey," Blake said casually. "How's it going?"

"Out of my way," Olivia said as she moved between the spying pair.

"This isn't working," Natalia said sounding defeated.

"Hang in there," Doris said.

"Really, when you get thrown you gotta get back on the horse and ride even harder," Blake said motioning outside. Reva bit her index finger as Doris and Natalia shared a naughty grin. "Boy, I just keep saying the wrong things tonight, don't I?"

Doris got a far off look in her eyes. "Nat riding Liv…Sounds pretty… interesting… to me, I gotta admit," Doris replied and then she paused. "Annnd there's the visual. Yeah… yeah, that's – that's…wow…I need another drink. "

Blake blushed. "I'll join you."

"Count me in," Reva said following along.

Natalia watched them all leave and shook her head before she followed suit.

"Round Three – here I come," she muttered.

Chapter Seven

"I'm sorry Matt," Olivia apologized as she took her seat again.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "If you're not feeling well-"

"No!" she said a tad too loud and quickly. She quieted herself. "No, sorry, I'm fine. It's been a really busy day and my work never seems to be done. I apologize."

Olivia did a double take toward the bar. What began with just Doris now looked like an audience with Reva and Blake on each side of her.

"So what's the story?" Reva asked conspiratorially from the bar. "I need the abridged version since my take-out order should be up soon."

Doris cleared her throat. "Okay, as short as possible: They fell in love during Liv's recovery at the farmhouse, but never said anything until Natalia nearly married Frank Cooper."

"Right," Blake agreed. "But then Natalia got some unsettling news and she went away on a religious retreat to sort things out."

"Which she did," Doris continued. "She came back, determined to start a life with Liv, but Liv is still feeling the sting of Nat taking off without a word and here we are – Nat with the wooing and Liv with the rejecting."

"What are you three doing?!"

All three women looked over to see Olivia next to the bar with a scowl on her face, watching them gossip.

Doris shrugged. "I just want to see you happy," she said honestly.

"I just want to see Natalia happy," Blake offered.

All eyes fell on Reva and she said, "I just want to see what happens next." Olivia groaned. "It's like drama unfolding before my very eyes – it's good stuff," she added.

"My life is not a spectator sport!" Olivia snapped in a hushed tone so, hopefully, Matt wouldn't hear it.

"Are you kidding?" Reva replied. "I haven't been this entertained in weeks. Months even."

Olivia turned around to see that Natalia had finally arrived back at the table.

"Go away," Olivia shooed using her hands.

Of course, no one did. They all stayed rooted in their spots at the bar and Olivia gave up, walking back to her table.

"So where's Colin?" Blake asked.

"Daisy's at the house," she answered. "She got hungry so I told her I'd stop out here for dinner." Reva went back to watching the trio at the table across the room. "Do you think you could do it?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Do what?" Blake asked.

"Sex with a woman – do you think you could do it?"

Doris raised her glass as casually as possible and began to drink without taking a pause to breath.

Blake shrugged. "I hadn't really thought about it."

"Never?" Reva asked.

Blake blushed. "Okay, fine, I have. I'd say more since I found out about Natalia and Olivia." Doris did a double take and Blake looked momentarily panic stricken. "Not with either of them!" she corrected. Doris simply nodded in understanding and began to take another drink. "They make too cute couple to mess that up. Plus, when Natalia told me about them..." Blake seemed to sigh. "She was so shy and bashful and…kinda like a teenager, you know? It was very sweet."

"I guess that makes sense," Reva replied. "It'd be like a second virginity kind of, right?" she said posing her question to Doris trying to draw her into the conversation.

Doris didn't seem to quite know how to answer the question. She gave an uncomfortable shrug and said, "Yeaaaah, sure, I guess."

Blake agreed and then leaned over to Reva. "What about you? Could you do it?"

Reva looked as though she was considering the thought. "I don't think I could. I like men and all their… man parts."

"Parts can be simulated," Doris offered as she took another drink.

Blake and Reva both giggled.

"You don't say?" Reva said teasingly and gave a single laugh. "Speaking from first-hand experience, Doris?"

Doris coughed slightly while Blake laughed.

"I'm just saying…." Doris began. "If you love someone the rest is… superficial…" Then as if trying to convince herself of that statement said, "Yeah… That's it."

Back at the table, the trio was trying to enjoy their appetizers, in silence. When the 'quiet' got to be too much for him to take Matt asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no!" Olivia insisted.

"Yes," Natalia said as she took the napkin off her lap. She stood up. "Last ditch effort. Hail Mary pass," she muttered.

"Oh boy," Olivia sighed quietly.

Matt and Olivia watched Natalia walk toward the end of the table and get down on one knee.

The ladies at the bar rose up slightly in their seats to see where Natalia had gone.

"What's going on?" Matt asked.

Olivia and Natalia were so focused on each other though that the question went unheard and unanswered. Natalia took Olivia's hand in hers and cleared her throat.

Chapter Eight

Natalia licked her lips nervously.

"I need you to hear me out," she began.

The three women at the bar were now trying to look over the top of the bar to see Natalia. Olivia, for her part, watched Natalia with a hopeful, yet anxious expression, while Matt looked totally dumbfounded.

Natalia tightened her hold on Olivia while her thumb caressed the back of the older woman's hand as she spoke.

"You've spent years trying to convince me to take chances, to aspire to greater heights. I've listened and it's made me a better person. You've told me countless times, 'Don't let fear and uncertainty rule your way of thinking or decision making.' You said that if I did -- if I let insecurity win -- then I'd miss out on wonderful things… So right now, I'm asking you – heck, I'm begging you on bended knee… follow your own advice."

Natalia brought Olivia's hand up to her mouth and planted a delicate kiss on the middle knuckle before locking eyes with her again.

"I could spend the rest of my life offering words of reassurance, saying that I would never leave you again. A-and I know these words might never convince you, but it'll never stop me from saying them. All I can give you is my promise, and swear before God, I'll always be open and share everything with you. I'm offering you my love and devotion. But it's up to you to have courage to accept it… so please, Olivia…for both of us… Will you be courageous? Will you walk out of here with me? Just come home and I promise you a night you will never forget."

The devilish smile wasn't lost on Olivia. She was certain what delights would await her. Natalia would do anything to have her – anything. For the longest time no one said a word and everything seemed to stand still. The only noise that could be heard was coming from the far-away kitchen. At least it was the only sound until Reva's voice broke through.

"For goodness sake, Olivia! Kiss the poor woman!"

Doris and Blake both smiled at each other. Matt still looked on with a sense of wonder. Olivia's face was a mask at first, but then uncertainty began to play across her features. Finally, the hotelier shook her head and quietly said, "No."

Olivia looked like she was on the verge of tears and the trio at the bar hung their heads in disappointment. Natalia turned her head away, unable to look at Olivia as she released a ragged breath. She let go over Olivia's hand, letting it gently fall from her grasp.

"Natalia," Olivia began, "I came here tonight to see Matt. I'm ending this evening with Matt. And I'm not sorry about that in the least," she said firmly.

Natalia nodded, resigned to her defeat, but she squared her shoulders and rose up. She looked over at Matt. She opened her mouth to speak, but not finding the words she began to nod and simply told him, "I'm sorry for interrupting your evening together."

Natalia then took a step behind Olivia, taking her purse from the chair before making her way toward the door. Olivia couldn't look at her. She simply looked down at the plate in front of her while Doris and Blake shared a concerned look.

"I'm gonna…" Blake trailed off as she motioned to where Natalia had just left.

"Yeah," was all Doris could say before releasing a heavy sigh. "Son of a bitch," she muttered to nobody in particular.

Suddenly a brown take-out bag with the Towers logo appeared at the bar, startling both women.

Rebecca said, "$35.62, with tax."

Reva handed over two twenties. "Keep the change," she told the bartender.

"Damn it," Doris sighed under her breath. "What the hell is she doing?" she wondered more to herself than to Reva.

Reva took the bag from the bar. "If you get the chance, tell Olivia if she…if she wants to talk to someone…"

"Yeah," Doris said short on patient. "I think I might call it a night though," she added and began to shake her head in disgust.

Back at the table Olivia began to grin nervously. "Guess you're wondering what all that was about, huh?"

Matt cleared his throat. "At first, yeah, but… It started sinking in. You, ah…You guys have been a couple for awhile, huh? I mean, at the BBQ you said you weren't looking for anyone. You were with her then, weren't you?"

Olivia seemed to consider the question.

"That's the problem. I don't think I was ever 'with her'," she replied, but then paused. "Actually, that's not true. I was with her; heart and soul… She just wasn't with me…not really."

Matt grinned, more in nervousness than any kind of merriment. "Well, it sure sounds like she wants to be with you now."

"Now's a little too late," Olivia replied with a far off look in her eye. For a short moment, neither one of them said anything and Olivia shook her head slightly. "I'm sorry for spacing out there."

"Why are you here Olivia?"

"I didn't use you if that's what you thought," she replied.

"Fair enough," Matt replied with a short nod. "But that didn't answer my question – why are you here?"

Outside of Towers, Blake looked left and not seeing Natalia looked right.

"Natalia! Wait!" she shouted and began to give chase. Blake had to jog to catch up and, when she finally arrived at her side, she sounded a bit winded. "Hey, wait up," she said trying to catch her breath.

"Tonight was pointless," Natalia replied as she stopped and faced Blake.

"You can't give up on her."

"I'm not. I'm just…I'm regrouping here, okay? I just…" Natalia bit her lip trying to hold back her tears.

"Oh, Sweetie," Blake said sympathetically as she opened her arms and brought Natalia to her.

The gesture was Natalia's undoing and it opened the floodgates. In the lonely shadow of a solitaire streetlight, Natalia cried and all Blake could do was hold her.

Chapter Nine

"So…why am I here?" Olivia repeated Matt's question. "Honestly?" He nodded politely. "I just want a friend. I don't think you came here believing you'd get a one-night-stand or find happily ever after, not really, right?"

Matt considered her comment. "I suppose you're right."

"And being a friend of mine would put you in a very exclusive group, seeing as I don't have many friends."

"I find that hard to believe," he responded.

"No, it's true. I know lots of people. I'd go so far to say that I even like a few of them and vice versa, but friends – people who I can really turn to – not so much. You mentioned you like hiking so I thought, what the hell? It's been years since I had a hiking buddy."

"And if dinner with me just happens to make Natalia jealous..." He playfully let the sentence hang.

Olivia gave him a guilty grin. "Okay, that thought did cross my mind too, but just as an added bonus, really – it wasn't the main event."

"I believe you," Matt replied. "So since we're being super honest here. I think I should be too. As a 'friend' that's my duty, right?" Olivia nodded. "Go to her – it's obvious that Natalia feels horrible that things aren't working out for you guys and she loves you tremendously."

"I love her tremendously too, but it's not that easy, Matt."

"Says who?" an annoyed, slurred voice behind her said. She turned to see Doris standing there. "She loves you – you love her. It really IS that easy."

"First of all, you sound drunk and second, no, it's not that easy," Olivia insisted.

"Is this about pride?" Doris asked getting increasingly exasperated. "My God, Olivia. The woman was on her knees. Her knees! What more do you want?!"

Olivia was becoming angry herself.

"I want to trust her. I need to know that she believes in us; that she believes in me. That she'll stand by me, but also that she'll let me in and share herself with me. And no, I don't mean just sex here."

"Olivia…she just got upset and had to go away and clear her head."

"Yes, but rather than tell me what was happening she just left. That's the problem, Doris. She left me without so much as a goodbye and she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was wrong. How on earth can I trust her now?"

"And how ON EARTH will she ever earn that trust if you don't give her the chance?" Doris asked.

Olivia looked over at Matt who simply nodded in agreement with Doris and waved toward the Mayor. "While it's true that she sounds a little drunk, she makes a good point."

Doris knelt down coming eye-to-eye with Olivia.

"You know, just as well as I do, she's your once-in-a-lifetime, Liv… Don't be so afraid that you toss it away." Olivia began to look away, but Doris took Olivia's hand in hers. "Don't make the dumb mistakes I've made. I can say, without a doubt, you'll regret it for the rest of your life and you don't want that. Besides, you love her, right? Regardless of the anger, fear, everything else aside… you still love her, don't you?" Olivia wore a melancholy expression, but nodded. "Look, pregnancy hormones make you a little nuts, okay? Heck, I remember when I was carrying Ashley there were pizza commercials that could make me cry. So while I'm not excusing what Natalia did, I'm just saying… maybe her leaving wasn't some pre-meditated act to hurt you or shut you out."

Olivia took a steadying breath. "So now what?" she asked.

"Lay it all on the line," Doris replied without hesitation. "Get your ass over to the farmhouse and start living the life you want – the one you deserve, right now."

Olivia closed her eyes. "Doris," she sighed. "I…I just can't."

Doris hung her head in exasperation and called out, "Rebecca, another round please!"

Back at the farmhouse, Blake was pulling into the driveway while Natalia sat in the passenger seat.

"It's finally sinking in," Natalia said almost absently. "She might never come back," she added as if realizing it for the first time.

Blake put the car in park and then turned to Natalia. "Well, you could always go back to Frank. I'm sure he'd take care of you."

"Frank's not the love of my life – he never was," Natalia replied. "I want it all Blake or I want nothing… I want Olivia."

"Life isn't always about what we want, Natalia."

"True," she agreed with a short nod. "But I spent a lot of my life settling – settling on low paying, labor jobs; settling on tiny apartments to raise Rafe in; settling on marrying a man I didn't love to avoid my best friend who I did…I'm just…I'm done. I'll raise this child with Olivia or I'll raise this child alone. Either way it's going to be on my terms – no settling whatsoever."

Natalia opened the door and got out, but she didn't immediately close it. Instead, she stuck her head inside the open door.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Blake asked concerned.

Natalia nodded. "Yeah, I will. And thanks for trying to help tonight."

"Don't lose faith Sweetheart," Blake said optimistically.

"If she didn't love me, I'd walk away. I'm not a complete fool. But I know that as long as love is there I've got a chance of winning her back. I'm not giving up."

"That's the spirit," Blake coached.

Natalia gave her a small chuckle. "Rah, rah. Go team?"

"You got it!" Blake said as she reached for the gear shifter. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Natalia waved and then shut the door. She walked up the sidewalk as Blake's headlights showed the way. Putting the key inside she gave Blake one more wave and walked inside. Upon entering and closing the door, Natalia rested her back against it, unmoving. Her bottom lip began to tremble and then she buried her face in her hands, unable to hold back the threshold of tears.

Chapter Ten

Natalia stood in the waiting room at Cedars. She held her phone in her hand and took a long breath. Then she pressed the name, 'Olivia'.

"Olivia Spencer," came the short response after two rings.

"Hey, it's Natalia. With all the chaos of last night I, uh, I just wanted to remind you the ultrasound offer still stands this morning. I've drank so much water I think I might burst at the seams," she tried to joke.

"Sorry, but I'm busy," she replied coldly without elaborating.

Natalia closed her eyes, trying to bite back the tears. "Okay, well if you change your mind I'll be here at Cedars..." An uncomfortable silence based between them and Natalia quietly said, "Bye."

"Bye."

Although she'd heard the unmistakable click of the line, Natalia still muttered, "I love you.' She stood still for a few moments looking at the open phone. Then she suddenly shut it briskly and threw it against the sofa. Another patient on the far end of the room saw the frustrated gesture and Natalia apologized.

"Sorry," she said picking the phone up. "Hormones and all. You're safe over there," she teased as she put it into her purse and took a seat.

The older man grinned at her and then stuffed his nose back into his magazine.

As Olivia was putting her phone back in her purse, Phillip walked into Company. He saw Olivia sipping a coffee at the bar. He walked over with a gentle smile.

"Rumor has it Natalia is back in town," he said hopefully.

"Yep," was all she said, not bothering to look up from her paper she was reading. She took a sip from her mug without adding more.

Phillip obviously tried to proceed cautiously as he slowly took a seat next to her.

"Did you find out why she left?" he asked softly.

"She's pregnant," Olivia replied casual. She then put the paper down for a moment and said, "Just so you know, I'm not the father," before putting it back up again.

"She's pregnant?" Phillip asked dumbfounded. "I'm assuming she slept with Frank before the wedding?"

"Yep."

"But I thought she loved you."

"She did."

"But she slept with him anyway?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Beats me. It was ancient history – or so we thought."

Phillip paused. "You're not very talkative today."

Olivia let out a long sigh.

"I'm not in the mood, okay? I woke up late, which made Emma late. I can't focus on work and I had a date with Matt last night that pretty much ended in disaster thanks to Natalia's confession of undying lurvvvve," she said bastardizing the word 'love.'

Phillip seemed to digest everything she said.

"Matt? Really?" were the first words out of his mouth.

"I swear the next person who says that, I'm gonna wring their neck," Olivia muttered and then took a calming breath. "I just want to move on, alright? Natalia's going to end up with Frank now so I might as well just walk away, you know?"

"No, I don't," he replied honestly.

"Hey, Phillip," Daisy greeted him from behind the counter. "Can I get you something?"

"Coffee black please, Sweetie," he told her before turning back to Olivia. "So that's it? Natalia chooses Frank then?"

"Yep."

"She told you that?" Phillip said still disbelieving.

"No, but I'm assuming."

"You're basing your decisions here on assumptions?"

"All I've had for a month and a half are assumptions!" Olivia said getting angry. "I had no idea why she left or if she'd be back."

"But she wants you in her life now, right? She's had time to think things through and she knows what she wants."

Olivia appeared reluctant to speak. "Okay. Yes. Fine. She asked me if I'd go to her ultrasound appointment this morning, but it's not my kid, okay? Have her ask Frank. It's his baby."

Phillip ran his fingers through his hair in confusion and slight annoyance.

"So let me see if I've got this right. Natalia busts up your date with Matt last night to say she loves you. She wants you at the hospital today for her ultrasound. But somehow you interpret this as her picking Frank over you... Where did I get confused about her disregarding you?"

Olivia gave a frustrated sigh. "Look, this doesn't concern you, alright?"

Phillip looked worried and rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah, actually it does," he said sounding impatient. "Your happiness is my happiness. A-and Emma should have two parents that love her."

"She does. She's got us."

Phillip didn't seem to know what to say at first.

"I just mean to live with each day. With you and Natalia together it gave her the stability that's so important. She needs that and you need that."

"Well, maybe once upon a time when I trusted her, but not anymore."

"So now what?" Phillip asked. "You just toss away the last two years of your life? You walk away from the one person that you said makes you happy to get up each day?"

"That was before. I'm beyond it now."

"The hell you are!" Phillip challenged. Olivia gave him a dirty look but he continued, "We both know what's going to happen here," he snorted. "You're eventually going to forgive her and when that happens you'll beat yourself up for not being there today…When's her appointment this morning?"

"Ten," Olivia replied.

Phillip looked up at the clock. "You've got ten minutes and Cedars is right across the street. You can still make it."

"Maybe, I don't want to make it," Olivia replied looking like she was about to cry. "Maybe no matter what I do, or what she says, this child will never be mine."

"It's not just flesh and blood that makes a family Olivia. It's those little moments like seeing an ultrasound together for the first time. Trust me. Don't waste these moments because they're precious. Some people never get these chances," he stressed. "And you'll never get them back, no matter what you do, so take them now." Olivia looked up at the clock. Phillip could tell she was strongly considering it. "I know what I'm talking about here and I know you can do it," he encouraged. "Whether you're this child's other mother or, at the very least, Natalia's friend – she needs you and the truth is you NEED this too." Olivia still seemed to be deciding, so Phillip added, "Besides, Rick told me Natalia followed you to Cedars more times than you could count. Isn't it time to return the favor, if nothing else?"

Olivia clinched her jaw. "Eight minutes. Think I can really make it?" she asked.

"If you hurry," he answered.

Olivia muttered, "Damn it," as she snatched up her purse and raced out the door.

Phillip smiled.

Chapter Eleven

Olivia opened the door wide as she entered Cedars. Directly in front of her was an information desk. She began to move to the right and pointed as she yelled out, "Radiology still down here? Third floor?"

"Yeah," the clerk yelled back and watched in slight confusion.

Olivia ran down the hall, turning a few heads in wonder.

Upstairs, on the third floor, a technician called out, "Rivera."

Natalia looked to the double doors of the wing, hoping that she might see Olivia arrive. Resigned to the thought that wasn't going to happen she raised her hand as she stood up.

"That's me," she replied.

Back on the main floor, Olivia rounded a corner quickly and took a spot inside the vacant elevator. She pushed the number 'three' and then pushed the 'close doors' button. When they didn't start closing automatically she impatiently began to push it repeatedly.

"Come on, come on," she coaxed. As the doors began to close she said, "Finally," as she looked at her watch.

Upstairs, in the radiology wing, Natalia and the technician walked side-by-side heading deeper into the department.

"Is this your first child?" the technician asked politely.

"In a way, I'm sure a lot's changed," Natalia answered. "I have a son who's 19." She smiled.

"Oh my," the technician replied, "That's quite an age gap."

"Yeah, this was far from being planned. But the first one wasn't planned either a-and I did okay on my own. I can do it again. I mean… the father is great. He's promised to be there for this child, so that's wonderful, but I fell in love with someone else and that person is…" Natalia paused.

"Looking to avoid it all, eh?"

"Well, we started dating before I knew I was pregnant and I…I left town to clear my head about everything, which only made everything worse and…here I am alone. But I-I have faith. I've prayed and I've asked God for support and to perhaps find a way to reach her …"

"Her?" the tech asked.

"Oh, did I not mention the fact I'm in love with a woman?…Yeah. My life is a soap opera."

The technician laughed and Natalia smiled. "I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. It's just…"

"That's fine. You gotta laugh sometimes to keep from crying," Natalia reassured her.

"That you do Ms. Rivera," she said as they entered a darken room. "Okay, I'm going to have you strip to your underwear from the waist down, okay? You can keep your blouse on. There's a sheet here so just have a seat when you're done and I'll be back inside in a few minutes to get started."

"Thank you," Natalia told her.

Back in the elevator Olivia was watching the number change to two, but suddenly the elevator stopped.

"Son of a bitch! No!" she yelled.

A couple of seconds later an elderly man using a walker was taking agonizing slow steps toward the elevator as an equally elderly woman followed behind him, monitoring his movements like a hawk.

"You got to be kidding me," Olivia muttered under her breath.

The man was halfway in the elevator when he stopped and turned to the woman behind him.

"Did you get my prescription?" he asked.

"Your what?" the woman asked, obviously hard of hearing.

"Prescription?" he asked her louder. "Do you have it?"

"I think so," she replied. "Let me check." The woman began to look through her purse.

"Oh for the love…" Olivia muttered and rolled her eyes. Shaking her head at her luck, she worked her way around the old man saying, "Excuse me," as she exited the elevator. She looked down to the end of the hallway and saw a sign marked 'stairs.' Again, she took off into a run. She'd cleared the door and started to run up to the next flight.

Upon making it to the third floor, she stopped and looked at an arrow pointing to Radiology. Another set of double doors sat at the far end. With another roll of her eyes, she took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before she broke into another run.

Breathing hard, she crashed through the double doors of the radiology department and looked around. She didn't see Natalia. The man that was in the room with Natalia earlier though was still seated there. He looked up from his magazine at the sudden noise and then looked back down again.

Olivia went up to the clerk at the check-in desk and simply panted, "Rivera."

The clerk looked confused and turned to a co-worker who was doing filing behind her.

"Do we have two 'Rivera's' this morning?" She then motioned with her hand toward the area where Natalia went moments before with the tech. "I know we've got one back there now," she said.

"Thanks," was all Olivia said as she began to walk through the doors.

The clerk looked startled. "Hey, wait! You can't go back there," she told her.

Olivia ignored the remark.

Back in the ultrasound room, the technician had returned.

"Are you all set?"

"Yeah," Natalia answered and pulled the sheet covering her lap and legs a little closer.

"Let's swing your legs this way and we'll get started, okay?"

Natalia nodded and then swiveled over as the tech helped place a pillow behind her head.

At the same time, Olivia was marching through the inner area of the radiology ward.

"Natalia!" she yelled out. "Where are you?" Not getting an answer, and with the check-in clerk now in pursuit, she repeated more impatiently, "Natalia!"

The tech and Natalia looked at each other, then looked at the door and then at each other again.

"Olivia?!" Natalia yelled out toward the door. "I'm over here," she added as she began to move from the table, wrapping the sheet around her waist.

Outside in the hallway, Olivia picked up the pace for two reasons - first, to outrun the clerk who was still in pursuit and second, to find the direction of Natalia's voice. Just as Natalia was stepping out from the room, Olivia began her approach toward her.

"You can't be back here!" the clerk said as she grabbed Olivia by the elbow and began to pull her away.

Olivia gave her arm a tug, breaking free.

"If you prevent me from being in that room I promise to slap this hospital with a gay discrimination lawsuit. Do you want that? Huh? Do ya?"

The clerk didn't know what to say so Natalia stepped up.

"I, uh, I don't think that will be necessary, okay?" Natalia said looking at both women. "I want her here with me," she reassured the clerk. "I asked her to come. Alright?"

The clerk visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know and she didn't say…" she tried to explain.

"It's okay," Natalia tried to reassure her.

"I would never do anything to discriminate against anyone," the clerk continued.

"Really, it's okay," Natalia said more forcefully. "No harm, no foul. Alright?"

The clerk just nodded and made her way back down the hall. Olivia made sure to watch until she was gone. Only then did she turn around to Natalia, who had smile on her face a mile wide.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"You made it," Natalia replied. "See? God listens and sometimes he delivers."

"Don't thank God," Olivia told her. "Thank Phillip."

"The man you were going to kill earlier this year?" Natalia teased.

Olivia gave her a sarcastic smirk. "Yeah, him."

"Ah ha."

"Anyway," Olivia continued, "he saw me at Company and he made a lot of good points, like if I miss this I might regret it. I-I can't say I'm ready for any of this, Natalia. I don't know what will become of us or if there even is an 'us' anymore but…"

"But what?"

"Phillip pointed out how you were always there for me when I had my heart issues. And I did promise you, no matter what, I'd always be your best friend. I meant it then and I mean it now, so I have to start acting like a best friend. So…" Olivia looked nervous. "If the offer still stands, I want to be here today for you."

Natalia took Olivia's hand in hers.

"I'm not going to pretend I don't want more, but I'll take what I can get for now…Oh, and for the record, who do you think put Phillip at Company at the right time, huh?"

Olivia acted like she was considering it. "His chauffer?" she finally retorted.

Natalia smiled and simply pulled Olivia by the hand into the ultrasound room.

Chapter Twelve

Olivia settled into a chair next to Natalia, who was laying on the gurney. On the opposite side sat the technician. The older woman looked down and saw Natalia playing nervously with the edge of the sheet that covered her legs and belly.

For a few moments longer, Olivia studied how the pregnant woman fidgeted. She took a deep breath as if in slight meditation as she reached under Natalia's hand intertwining their fingers. She then laid her other hand on top – capturing Natalia's hand completely. Almost automatically Natalia's body seemed to relax, even though she gave Olivia's hand a short tight squeeze in 'thanks' for being there.

"Are we ready?" the tech asked.

Natalia and Olivia both nodded and the tech pulled down the sheet and raised Natalia's shirt slightly. The appearance of Natalia's swelled stomach seemed to catch Olivia off guard. She wasn't sure what she expected exactly, but just the image of the protruding belly began to make the pregnancy all the more real.

"Not what you were expecting, huh?" Natalia asked self consciously.

"Honestly, no," Olivia answered as she started to grin.

Natalia licked her lips nervously. "I know pregnant women aren't exactly the picturesque model for sex and desire."

"I think you're beautiful," Olivia replied impulsively. She realized immediately she let the comment slip and averted her eyes. In doing so, she missed the growing smile on Natalia's face. "So," Olivia addressed the technician. "I'm assuming Natalia's far enough along that you'll be able to see the sex of the child."

"I'm glad you brought that up actually. I always say 'he' when I refer to the fetus regardless of the sex. But if you want to know, I can see if we can get a good shot."

"No," Natalia answered while at the same time Olivia said, "Yes."

The tech smiled. "It never fails – one wants to know and the other doesn't."

"I want to be surprised," Natalia replied.

"How about this?" Olivia offered to the tech. "You tell me after she leaves."

"Oh no." Natalia started to chuckle. "You can't keep a secret like this."

"I promise I won't tell you."

"No, instead you'll say something like, 'We really should paint the nursery blue' without saying it's a boy."

"Maybe I want to paint our nursery blue to fight gender stereotypes, huh?" Olivia asked. "Did you think about that?"

Natalia just gave her an incredulous look at first, fully aware that Olivia had no intention at all in fighting gender roles – at least not via decorating. But then she slowly smiled as another aspect of what she said hit home. "I'm just glad that you're considering it OUR nursery."

Olivia just smirked in response. Although it wasn't confirmation on Olivia's desire to be with her again, it was a step in the right direction instead of an outright refusal.

The tech smiled at their banter as she smeared the jelly on Natalia's stomach.

"Oh hey, that's warm," Natalia noted, "I was expecting it to be cold."

"Jelly warmers," the tech said proudly, pointing to the equipment. "A lot's changed in 20 years."

"No kidding," Natalia replied, but then motioned back to Olivia. "Anyway, back to blabbermouth over here."

"I am not a blabbermouth."

"Says the woman who couldn't wait to tell me what she got for my birthday."

"Okay, fine," Olivia relented.

Now the tech began to chuckle. "And you're sure you two aren't still in love? You argue like a married couple. It's cute."

"I've been doing my best to convince her I love her." Natalia then paused and turned to the tech. She was trying her best so she knew instantly there was something she could do then and there.

"You know what? Tell us," Natalia added. "It's important to her and she's more important than any surprise. So tell us the sex if you can."

"Natalia," Olivia began in a worried tone. "If you don't want to know…"

"I mean it, Olivia. Your happiness means more to me than any surprise in the delivery room. You're impatient. I get that." Both women smiled. "You want to know. So let's find out together."

Natalia tightened her hold on Olivia's hand and the older woman returned the gesture.

The image came up grainy at first, but then slowly came into focus.

"Oh my goodness," Olivia said leaning closer. "Look there! You can see all the fingers there." She pointed and mumbled as she counted them.

"Yeah," the tech said. "This child isn't bashful at all," she added as she continued to press a button nearby, taking image after image.

"That's just…that's incredible," Olivia said with wonder.

Natalia looked at the screen, but her eyes were focused more on Olivia. She was captivated as she watched Olivia smile, start to tear up a little and then omit a slight chuckle of delight. She knew she hadn't seen Olivia this happy since she'd returned.

"Thank you God," Natalia mouthed as she watched Olivia grow more and more awestruck by the images.

The tech took a still photo again and then pointed to the image. "You want to know the sex. Look right there," she told the pair. She then circled the area around the baby's waist. "What do you see?"

Olivia looked closely along with Natalia. The two women looked at each other.

"I don't see anything," Olivia told the tech.

"Exactly," the technician smiled.

Both women looked at each other. "It's a little girl?" Natalia asked.

"Yep!" The tech nodded. "Of course, mistakes have been known to happen so I wouldn't go wild on the 'pink' stuff. But this little lady's pretty much given us the Playboy shot here - front and center; spread eagle." Olivia snorted and Natalia playfully swatted at her arm. "There's not a lot left up to chance. Sounds like she heard you and decided to show you what you wanted."

"She's beautiful," Olivia said proudly.

"Now Emma finally gets to be 'the Ava' - a big sister to a younger one," Natalia said as she watched the screen.

Suddenly realizing her impulsive words might upset Olivia, she quickly looked over. Olivia though was still mesmerized by the picture before her. It took a few moments, but Natalia's words finally registered and Olivia looked down at Natalia. She seemed unsure of what to say.

Recognizing Olivia's growing insecurity of how to reply, Natalia added, "You don't have to say anything. I'm just glad you're here."

Olivia seemed relieved and a bit smitten. She loved the woman because Natalia could read her so well and, when it mattered the most, she knew the right words to say. Olivia just tighten her hold on her hand and said, "Me too."

Chapter Thirteen

Natalia and Olivia walked toward Company.

"I'm so relieved everything looks okay so far," the raven-haired woman sighed. "I've still got more tests, but at least I'm not AS worried."

"Well, it's like the tech said – it's not like you were out drinking every night. You had a few glasses of wine and a beer or two. Big deal. Pregnant women in France probably go through much more in a week," she teased.

"And a shot - don't forget the shot too," Natalia added.

Olivia grinned sarcastically. "Oh yeah, that one put you over the top." Natalia bumped shoulders with her as they walked. "Still," Olivia continued, "it's not like you spent the last few months like I've spent the last few weeks." Natalia looked nervous. "I didn't mean that as a jab, okay?" she added quickly. "Besides, I was the one doing the drinking. I didn't…I didn't handle everything very well."

"It was the worst time to leave," Natalia muttered.

"Yes. Yes, it was." Olivia sighed. "But, regardless of you not being here, or even how you left, you'd think that after the past 25 years I might have learned something."

"Such as…?"

"Booze and sex don't solve problems – in fact, they make things worse."

Natalia bit her bottom lip. "Not that it's any of my business, but when I was gone, did you…?"

The sentence hung for a moment, but Olivia offered no help.

"I know what you're asking, but I want to hear you ask it," she replied without the slightest bit of merriment in her voice.

Natalia squared her shoulders. "Did you sleep with anyone – correction, did you have sex with anyone?"

Olivia paused and licked her lips. "You left me...Does it matter?"

Natalia shrugged nervously. "I was worth waiting for at one point, remember?"

"That was when I felt wanted too," Olivia replied. "I thought you loved me."

"I do love you Olivia. I do," Natalia insisted.

Olivia put her hands up in front of her. "Look, we had a good morning, okay? Can we just leave it at that?"

Natalia paused for a moment and the hurt showed on her features. Olivia opened her mouth as if to confess the truth, but before she could say anything Natalia just began to nod. The younger woman reached for the door. She turned to make sure Olivia was with her, but she stopped when she wasn't following her inside. Natalia looked confused.

"Aren't you gonna come in?" she asked. Olivia put her hands in her pockets and looked reluctant. "Too much too soon?" Natalia asked.

"I haven't really made a decision," replied Olivia. "I mean about us and the baby and everything. I'm sure Frank is in there and…"

Natalia took a calming breath, as if willing herself not to grow upset or agitated. Instead, she simply nodded. For long moment neither woman said a word. Natalia, however, closed the distance between them and pulled Olivia into a somewhat reluctant embrace.

While she still had the woman in her arms, Natalia softly whispered, "Thank you for being there today…and for keeping your promise."

Natalia still hadn't pulled away, so Olivia tightened her hold.

"Thank you for asking me."

Olivia closed her eyes and partially buried her face in Natalia's long hair, letting the strains caress her cheek, soaking up the sensation if only for a moment.

Natalia, as if sensing Olivia's desire to hold her, continued to cling to Olivia and asked, "Can I see you later? Please?"

Olivia looked on the verge of saying no, but she opened her eyes to see Frank Cooper staring at them through the window.

Her mind flashed to the night at the farmhouse. Frank proposed and she was the one watching them build a life together, a life that she wouldn't be a part of. She thought back to how much she envied Frank as she looked at him through the window, thinking she'd never have that with Natalia. But now, here she stood locked in the woman's firm embrace, knowing that Natalia did pick her.

"Olivia?" Natalia said, trying to get her attention although she didn't move.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same," Olivia muttered. Natalia didn't know how to take the comment. She felt Olivia move back, but not completely let her go. She cleared her throat and then nodded.

"Yes, I'll see you tonight."

Natalia tried to hold down her smile, but failed. "Can I call it a date? I never really got a chance to court you."

Olivia grinned. "You know if someone told me two years ago that a sexy, pregnant Latina will ask me on a date I never would've believe it. Okay, maybe I could believe the asking part, because please," she teased with a sexy, confident grin as she motioned over her own body. Natalia laughed. "It's the saying 'yes' on my part that would've throw me for a loop," she added.

Natalia pulled Olivia slightly closer by the hips. "Do I still throw you, Olivia? Make you off balance?"

"Dear, you will do that until the day I die - I'm sure of that," Olivia confessed.

"Hopefully it'll be a long, long time from now," she said as she caressed her face. "How about 7 PM? I'll pick you up at the Beacon?"

Olivia nodded and Natalia flashed the ultrasound pictures in her hand. "I'm gonna see if Frank wants to know how it went."

"I'm sure he will," Olivia told her. "He loves you, you know? He'd take you back if you asked."

"Perhaps, but if anyone's going to take me," Natalia replied with a sexy leer to her voice. "I want it to be you. I'm not giving up without a fight - even if the one I have to fight is you."

"I don't want to fight," Olivia replied in a soft, almost timid voice.

Natalia stroked her face. "Then don't. Start by having dinner with me tonight. Okay?"

Olivia only nodded and Natalia leaned in. Her lips puckered and she closed the distance between them. Olivia became visibly tense.

As if performing a delicate procedure, Natalia carefully planted a kiss on Olivia's cheek. Although to any outsider it might look incredibly chaste, it was the light pressure of Natalia's tongue on her flesh that burn into Olivia's soul, branding her. It was bold, yet at the same time amazingly subtle. Just like Natalia herself, Olivia thought.

"Thank you for today," Natalia told her softly. Not bothering to wait for Olivia to reply or reject her, Natalia walked over and opened the door to Company and walked inside.

Olivia didn't leave immediately. She slowly began to grin and her fingertips gently touched the area that Natalia had kissed moments before.

Chapter Fourteen

"Okay," Natalia said as she entered the office and began to pace. "Last time I asked for wooing advice I went to Blake and it blew up in my face, so now I'm going to an expert on women for advice."

Doris blinked twice and then looked behind her as if thinking perhaps someone else was in the room.

"Me?" she asked incredulously. "You want my advice on how to win over Olivia? How about not ripping her heart out for starters?"

Nat paused at the acidy in Doris's voice. "Okay, I would expect that from Liv."

"But not from her friends, is that it? You and I, Natalia, see... we are not friends. If anything maybe Olivia should stay 500 feet from you at all times?"

"But the other night…?"

"I was helping Olivia move forward – either with you or without you. It doesn't matter to me who she's with as long as she finds her happiness."

Natalia's jaw tightened. "If I didn't know any better I might say you're smitten with my girlfriend."

"EX," Doris stressed. "Your ex-girlfriend - the one you left without so much as a 'post-it note' alright? I mean, my god, Natalia. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," Natalia admitted. "I didn't know WHAT to think, about anything."

"Did she tell you we went looking for you?"

"She said she looked, but she didn't mention…you."

Doris paused as if trying to find a starting place.

"She walked into my office and was just…a train wreck. She smelled like wine and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. So I told her if she promised to go home, eat and go to bed then the next day after work we'd go looking after pulling up a list of retreats. Place after place turned her away and when she reached her breaking point, when she couldn't get beyond the doors of any retreat she… she broke down. I watched her shout your name into the heavens in such pain and misery – the likes of which I'd never seen in my lifetime, ever. In fact, there was a nun that could have had her arrested. But thankfully, she had mercy. The tears were a good motivator."

"Olivia's crying touched her?"

"Not just Olivia. She saw me crying too."

"You were crying?"

Doris's eyes bore into Natalia's and cleared her throat. "You weren't there – you didn't see the shattered woman I saw." Natalia looked away in shame, her bottom lip trembling. "So did you find the answers that cost Olivia her heart and soul? Was the isolation worth it?" Natalia teared up and Doris's features hardened. "Oh come on, Sweetie Pie. You gotta do better than that. Olivia's got you beat by miles on the waterworks front. But then again, maybe she was the only one really in love, huh?"

"Damn you, Doris. You don't need to be a bitch," Natalia spat.

"Hey, don't damn me. I'm the one who stood by her. I'm the one who managed to convince her that she's still lovable. I'm not the one that left Olivia crying in a courtyard like a little girl, begging for attention. YOU did that! So tell me, who's the real bitch here, huh?"

"I didn't intend to hurt her," Natalia said as she began to cry. "I swear I didn't."

"You're a religious woman. You know what they say about the road to hell, Natalia." Doris gave her a sarcastic smirk. "You know when I said Olivia was the only one in love, I didn't hear a 'you're wrong' from you."

"I love Olivia!" Natalia shouted. Doris moved back, but only slightly. "I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to raise this child with her! But I can't do that if she never trusts me!"

"And why should she, huh?"

"Because I love her."

"Oh please tell me you didn't use that line on her." Natalia looked away. "You did? Oh jeeze. Let me ask you something… you loved her before the Barbeque, didn't you? Remember, the big coming out party that never happened because you left without a word? Does that ring any bells?"

"It's different this time," Natalia told her.

"Different how?"

"It just is!" Natalia insisted.

Doris chuckled. "Oh sure and we know how solid your word is, right?" She followed up with a frustrated sigh. "Dear, you need to figure out why it's different now. If you can't convince ME then how the HELL do expect to convince, Olivia?" After a moment of staring at the woman, Doris reached down and grabbed her briefcase. She walked to the door. Before she cleared the doorway, the mayor stopped and turned around. "I get off at five today. Come back then," she told her.

"You'll help me?" Natalia asked in disbelief.

"No," Doris replied. "But I'll help Olivia and I know the only thing that will ever make her happy is you. Why? I have no friggin' clue, but miracles never cease."

With that Doris walked out and slowly Natalia followed. She didn't see the satisfied and cunning smirk on Doris's lips.

Chapter Fifteen

Natalia looked at her watch - it was just past noon. Realizing she had plenty of time before her meeting with Doris that day, she walked inside the church and proceeded to light three candles, her lips mumbling in silent prayer.

She took a seat in the front row directly across from the large cross and cleared her throat as she held her hands in prayer and lowered her head.

"O God and Heavenly Father,

Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed,

and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen."

She released a heavy sigh.

"I knew that I'd be challenged, Lord. I did. And I knew that Olivia would be upset but…I didn't know she'd feel devastated."

Natalia tightened her hands together even more.

"You know I didn't leave to hurt her. If anything, I left so I didn't burden her with my insecurities."

Natalia paused and cleared her throat.

"You know as well as I do Lord that no one – and I mean no one - has ever been devastated by my absence. Ever… Not my parents. Not Gus. And, truth be told, not even Frank."

The sad expression Natalia wore for that revelation began to slowly turn into a grin.

"But Olivia…" She closed her eyes as if trying to picture the woman as she brought her hands to her lips. "My love and desire for her truly knows no bounds now and for the first time in my life I can see that you're blessing me with genuine love."

Natalia's happy expression began to dip and one of determination took hold.

"But I realize this gift isn't coming without a cost. I know I have to fight for her and I realize – now – just how devastated she is…Just how devastated 'I' made her feel."

Natalia shook her head rebelliously.

"But I'm not letting her go. I know you've chosen her for me. It is your will and it will be done. And although it breaks my heart to know the pain I'VE caused her, it confirms what I know to be true; what you've shown me. She and I belong together… for her sake, for my sake, for Emma's sake and for this child's sake."

Natalia licked her lips nervously.

"And Rafe… Please God, like I said grant me the serenity of mind to accept his… departure… if I can't change his mind."

Natalia began to tear up.

"I failed him. I know…I don't want to fail again."

Natalia said as she rubbed her stomach.

"I wanted the best for Rafe and in doing so I ended up with an spoiled, angry, short-tempered…bigot."

Natalia began to cry as she buried her face in her hands.

"So I gotta know Lord, please," she begged through her tears, "will you bring me the wisdom, and the strength, to walk away from him if that's what it takes?"

After a few moments of silence, Natalia sniffed and wiped her cheeks. She took a calming breath. When her breathing finally evened out and her eyes began to dry she cleared her throat again.

"I want to find a way to reach Olivia, Lord. I need to find a way to understand why my leaving was so painful, but I don't know where to start. I mean… I've had two relationships in my entire life and each one lasted less than a year. I don't have a lot of experience in this department, ya know? So what's my role as someone's partner?"

Natalia paused as if reconsidering the question.

"No…what I want to know is… what will it take to be the partner that Olivia needs? How can I succeed where others failed? Where do I even begin to find the answers when I have little experience in loving relationships outside of motherhood?"

Natalia took a shaking breath and lowered her forehead to her hands. A few seconds later she heard the rattle of the doors open and she turned around to see Josh Lewis standing there. Natalia began to tear up again and she looked at the looming cross again.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Chapter Sixteen

"I'm sorry for interrupting," Josh apologized.

"No, that's okay. It's nice to see a friendly face actually," Natalia replied with a slight smile. Josh grinned as he finished walking down the aisle. "So what brings you by in the middle of the afternoon?" she asked. "Some heavy questions perhaps?"

Josh ran a hand over his face. "I almost came in here the other day – I'm working on a site not far from here, so it's closer than my church."

"So what changed your mind today?"

Josh paused at first.

"I'm not sure. Today felt more right I guess….I, uh, I'm here because I, um, I think my actions might have caused unmitigated damage to a woman I love."

Natalia gave him a compassionate smile. "You too, huh?"

Josh snorted. "Yeah, small world huh?"

"Have a seat," Natalia said as she slide down and patted the bench. "Misery loves company after all." Josh complied and took a spot next to her. "Now, you tell me your story and I'll tell you mine," Natalia added.

"I, ah, I have to confess. I actually know your story…or I should say one side of the story. I would like to hear the other side though."

"Oh no, you go first," Natalia replied as she good-naturedly shoved his arm.

Josh chuckled. "Alright," he nodded and then paused for a starting place. He grew solemn before speaking. "I helped Jeffrey plot a mission to draw out Edmund and it got him killed and Reva…She's not talking it well and I feel like it's all my fault."

"Not to many people are taking it well from what I hear," Natalia replied.

"No, this is…" Josh released a breath he'd been holding. "This is beyond mourning. Reva thinks she's having a mental breakdown and I'm scared. I'm scared for her. I'm scared for Colin…I came here looking for a little comfort; some direction perhaps. I…I made a promise to Jeffrey before he left that even if he didn't survive that I wouldn't make a play for Reva. And even that's becoming difficult because… I love her, Natalia. So I thought I'd come in, light a candle for her and ask the Lord for a little guidance here…Plus, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't come here to offer a prayer for you and Olivia too." Josh turned mischievously toward Natalia. "She's pretty shaken up…" he cued her.

"I'm assuming Olivia told you about us then?"

Josh nodded. "Can I be total honest?" he asked in a calm, quiet voice. Natalia gave a worried nod. "After Jeffrey died Olivia started hitting the bottle pretty hard. I did too. We spent quite a few days, and nights… inebriated. At the time I thought her drinking was like mine – all about Jeffrey. But it wasn't. In fact, I'd wager that most of the drinking had very little to do with Jeffrey and the fallout his death caused. Now that's not to say she didn't care. She told me once that when she wanted to die, after the transplant, he was the first person who actually made her smile. She never forgot that. But the drinking…it wasn't all about him."

"How-how bad was she?" Natalia asked.

"Well, one day, she forget to pick up Emma at day camp because she was drinking and lost track of time. But Christina stayed with Emma until Liv sobered up."

"She's been putting Emma at risk?" Natalia asked. "I know after the transplant nothing made her happy – nothing, but…I had no idea Josh. I-I had no idea."

"Well, wait then it gets better," he said sarcastically.

Natalia rubbed her temple. "I think I might need my serenity prayer again. Go ahead," she said as she dropped her hand and faced Josh again.

"This week she…well, we spent a lot of time flirting while you were gone – we always have because…"

Natalia nodded knowingly. "Olivia likes to flirt with attractive men and vice versa. I understand – believe me."

"Exactly," Josh said, "but this week she came to me and flirting turned into wanting a lot more." Natalia physically held her breath." Then when I asked why I was lucky enough to receive such an… amorous assault… her reply was to make her forget she was in love with you…"

"She couldn't go through with it," Natalia answered, sounding a bit relieved.

"She might have gone through with it, Natalia. She might not have. I don't know. But that IS what she does. Olivia is a very desirable woman and she'll use sex as a weapon…and as a crutch. But that day with me, you were the only thing on her mind. So when I heard her say that, well, things went from 90 to 0 real fast. And although the prospect of having Olivia Spencer in my bed is a delightful one I want her in bed because she wants me. But she didn't want me – she wanted you. Still does."

"I want her too."

Josh looked over at Natalia. "In every sense?"

"Yes," Natalia answered without hesitation. "But she doesn't trust me. I left without talking to her and she thinks I stopped loving her. That I gave up on us. But I didn't. That's not why I left. I had to sort things out; to figure out what path God wanted me on. And now…" Natalia wasn't sure what else to say.

"You know," Josh sighed.

"Yes."

"But she's not listening."

"No, she's not…And I don't know how to fix it." Natalia began to sniffle. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm a bit hormonal right now," she added trying to laugh it off.

Josh put his arm around her in support and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Well, if I had to pick the one thing in this world that Olivia fears, it's abandonment – being alone," he replied. "Her parents died a few years apart when she was still in her teens. They, in essence, left her. As far as the men in her life, including present company, they all left for various reasons or in various ways that forced her to be alone. The only possible exception might be Buzz Cooper. I think he genuinely loved her for her, but even that wasn't enough."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Because although he accepted her shortcomings, I think she wanted to be more than what she was," Josh answered. "She knew she had some…. complex qualities, but she wanted someone to help her smooth out those edges and love her for her and let's face it, Olivia isn't an easy person to love."

"You're wrong," Natalia told him raising her head and looking at him. She didn't say it with malice or harm, just very matter-of-fact. "Loving her is very easy. It's living with the argumentative… pig-headed… know-it-all side that's tough. But if you stand up to her then she eventually tries to listen to reason and in some cases she actually does what you ask." Natalia got a far off look in her eyes and she began to grin. "That's it, isn't it?" Natalia muttered to herself. She shook her head and turned to Josh. "Anyway, for me loving Olivia has been one of the easiest things I've done in my life – it's the rest of the world that I have a problem with."

Josh grinned. "Perhaps this is it then," he replied. Natalia looked confused. "Maybe Olivia really has found THE ONE."

Natalia grinned and rested her head back on his shoulder.

"Now your turn again," Natalia told him. "Tell me about Reva."

Josh smiled uncomfortably. "Oh my, where to start…"

Chapter Seventeen

Natalia waved as Doris entered Towers bar. The mayor released a heavy sigh as she bellied up next to Natalia.

"Sorry I wasn't ready when you came by, but now I'm finally done with meetings. Given their department, you'd think the people at Parks and Recreation would be more…fun," she said upon arriving.

"Not the case?" Natalia asked.

"I've met catatonics with more personality."

Natalia giggled and Doris did a double take upon seeing that Natalia had a Bloody Mary.

"You're drinking?" Doris asked incredulously.

"No, it's a virgin," Natalia replied. "Although my morning sickness is much better now, tomato juice is actually one of the few drinks that hasn't made me feel nauseous."

"Really? With all that acid? Well, actually I can believe it," Doris added on second thought. "They say to stay away from greasy food when you're pregnant with morning sickness." Natalia nodded in the affirmative. "But with Ashlee, McMuffins and Taco Bell were all I could keep down, at least for the first few months."

A small silence passed between them.

"Have you seen Olivia's new assistant, Keira?" Natalia asked out of nowhere.

Doris grinned. "No. Is she hot?"

Natalia's jaw tightened. "She's a Norse Goddess – she's not a day over 25 and she's got these legs that go on forever." Doris chuckled. "This is not funny," she added.

"Don't worry - Olivia likes the heritage of her ladies much closer to the equator."

For a second Nat looked confused and then smiled. "'K, I get it - Puerto Rican."

"You have your own assets," Doris assured her.

"Perhaps," Natalia began, "but if you looked at the two of us side-by-side – me, the short, round Latina and her, the taller, YOUNGER, svelte, blonde princess, well…I might as well just thrown in the towel. I mean, I didn't think eyes could be THAT blue. I've been trying to avoid being in the same room with her when Liv might be around so she can't 'compare' us."

"Relax. Olivia loves you and that's more than half the battle," Doris replied. "If she just wanted to get laid she could walk into any bar and pick up someone. There are lotsssss of women who would take her home."

"This conversation isn't comforting… at all."

"You didn't come here for comfort. You came here for pointers."

"Speaking of…" she said looking at her watch. "I need to pick her up at the Beacon at seven and I don't want to be even a minute late."

"Yeah, you're gonna have to be Miss Punctuality for a very, VERY long time," Doris teased.

"Yes, I will and it's a small price to pay if I can win her back. So… what do I do?"

"Okay, first…See that bartender there?" Natalia nodded. "That's Rebecca. Now pay attention to everything I do."

"Okay," Natalia answered.

"Rebecca," Doris called over to her.

Rebecca turned and smiled upon seeing Doris and made her way over. "Not that I'm complaining, but coming here has become a habit for you Ms. Mayor."

"What can I say? I adore the service." Doris held her gaze on Rebecca for a few beats, examining her up and down. She then motioned toward Natalia but didn't take her eyes off Rebecca until Rebecca looked away. "This is another friend, Natalia, and yes, she's family too." Doris noticed Natalia's confused expression and chuckled as she turned back to Rebecca. "She's kind of a newbie," she added. "She doesn't know that 'family' means you're gay."

"But I'm not gay," Natalia said.

"If you're with Liv, Sweetie, the world will perceive you as gay, whether that's the case or not. Honestly, would I throw Brad Pitt out of my bed on a cold night? Oh, hell no. But trust me, I'm a lesbian, okay? I'm sure Rebecca here would agree," she added with a seductive grin.

Rebecca gave her a shy grin and leaned over the bar. "Doris is VERY good at being a lesbian," she replied quietly, as not to be overheard. Doris wiggled her eyebrows, and gently stroked the woman's hand with her fingertips. Rebecca snorted. "And she's a master at being a flirt," she added. "In fact, I'd never been with a woman until Doris."

Doris's smile got even wider and she smirked at Natalia.

"So you…deflowered her?" Natalia asked.

All three women laughed and Doris reached over and brushed her hand against Rebecca's.

"Can you get me one of those?" she asked pointing to Natalia's Bloody Mary. "Make mine with a kick though," she added and winked.

"Can do," Rebecca said and walked away.

Doris turned to Natalia.

"Now that she's gone, yes, I did…deflower her..." Doris giggled again at the term. "…and many other ladies over the years I might add. And the reason is because of everything I just did with Rebecca."

"Such as?"

"Well, I realize I'm not the most gorgeous woman in the world." Natalia looked like she was going to raise an argument, but Doris brushed her off. "Yes, I'm not bad, but I'm not a Hollywood scarlet either. However, I always – ALWAYS – look them in the eye and I never, under any circumstance, break eye contact first."

Natalia considered the words. "That's true," she replied.

"Yep," Doris said with a nod. "I don't look away, I don't get shy. I might be nervous as hell, but I show confidence. And confidence is sexy. It's reassuring. It's what got Rebecca, and lots of gals over the years, to make the leap they wanted, but never had the guts to do until me."

"Just how many women have you slept with?" Natalia asked.

"Oh Sweetheart," Doris sighed. "I've lost count."

"Really? And you're still in the closet? How is that possible?"

Rebecca returned and put the drink down in front of Doris.

"Thank you Sweetness," Doris told Rebecca. Again Doris didn't look away until Rebecca did. That's when Doris faced Natalia again. "It's really two worlds in this country for me," she replied. "Gay folks and those who aren't, but I have to admit, those lines are getting blurrier. I mean once upon a time there were clues you could look for, but now who knows?"

"Why's that?" Natalia asked.

"Straight people keep stealing our ideas," Rebecca replied rejoining the conversation.

Doris chuckled. "Like Reva Shane last night. She sat here talking about how straight she was. Did you see what she was wearing?" she asked Rebecca.

Rebecca considered the question then began to nod. "Yeah, actually. The thumb ring, right?"

"Bingo," Doris replied.

"Okay," Natalia said waving her hand. "Newbie getting confused again over here."

"Lesbians used to be the only women to wear thumb rings. You could tell who was 'family,' but now it's like the latest fashion. Single lesbians and even some married lesbians would wear them. But today, it's everyone. Kinda like multiple earrings a few decades ago," Doris asked. "We start something and the straight folks go and steal it. That then makes it harder to know who's WHO."

Natalia looked dumbfounded. "I have so much to learn," she mumbled.

Doris chuckled. "All you need to know now is that you love Olivia, but don't forget tip number two."

"Which is?"

"Touch," Doris told Natalia. "I touched Rebecca twice in a two minute conversation. Now I'm not saying you need to be that 'feely' but if the situation presents itself make contact."

"I've tried, but when I get within two feet of Olivia she usually steps back."

"Ohhhh, that's good."

"Why is that good?" Natalia asked.

"Because it means touch is ultra important to her. Come to think of it that makes sense because of when she kissed me the other day."

Natalia's mouth opened. "She kissed you!" she exclaimed.

"Not like that!" Doris said just as loud so the people above them having dinner heard the response.

"Sorry," Natalia apologized.

"No, she was feeling down and I cheered her up a little so before she left she kissed me on the cheek. Not a big deal, but it does show that Liv reactions to physical…stimulation." Natalia and Doris both giggled like school girls. "So even if it's just a hand squeeze as you walk by or a brush across her shoulder blades as you leave a room, go for it. That stuff will quickly start to 'add up' and work in your favor."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I wouldn't awkwardly reach for her, but if you happen to get close enough then… let your fingers do the walking… and the talking. If you do I promise that she'll be putty in your very lovely hands. But the question is…you think you're up to it? Just remember, you can't try to stuff that Genie back in the bottle once she's out."

Slowly Natalia began to smile. "I gotta rub her the right way then?"

Doris chuckled. "Sweetie, anyway you rub her at this point will be the 'right way' so you can't fail." Natalia joined her in the laughter, but she watched intently as Doris grew serious again. "It comes down to this…do you have the courage to truly love her because once you unleash that side of Olivia… they'll be no going back?"

Natalia smiled and then bit her lip. She began to nod. "Yes, I am," she stated confidently.

"Right there," Doris said pointing to Natalia. "That's the woman Olivia needs to see."

Natalia smiled.

Chapter Eighteen

Olivia and Keira were standing behind Olivia's desk, looking at a map.

"There're lots of areas you could do this, aren't there?" Keira asked as she pointed. "Chicago does a lot more convention work outside of the city now from what I understand."

"Yeah, that area might be a possibility," Olivia agreed. "Any of the properties in this area for sale might do nicely."

Before she could add anything else, Emma ran into the office. "Mommy!"

"Hey, Jellybean," she said. "Where's Jane?"

"Remember? She had to leave early today so she took me to Daddy's house."

Phillip followed in behind her. "Sorry we didn't call first," he apologized.

"No, that's fine. It just slipped my mind – I lost track of the day," Olivia said.

"We thought we'd see if you want some food," Emma remarked.

"Oh, well I've got a date tonight, Sweetie."

"Oh no," Emma sighed. "Matt? Really? Again?"

Phillip put his finger over her lips and knelt down to his daughter.

"Be careful," he whispered, "because your mommy said the next person that questioned her about going out with Matt, she said she was going to strangle them. So shhhhhh…"

Emma looked scared for a moment and it took everything for Phillip not to laugh.

"I'll make an acceptation to the rule this time," Olivia told them. "But nooooo, it's not Matt."

Phillip mouthed, "Natalia?" and Olivia nodded. He smiled. It looked like Emma was going to asking who, but he intercepted her.

"Hey, Emma, I got an idea." Phillip said. "Why don't I keep you tonight? I found out that your granddad really likes smores so maybe we can have a little campout in the backyard at the mansion? Make him a few treats? Whadda ya say?"

"Can I, Mom?" Emma asked.

"Your granddad and father don't seem TOO wacky lately," she sighed. Phillip smiled. "Sure, why not? Tomorrow around noon for a drop off?"

"Sounds good," Phillip said. "How about I take you both to lunch at Towers and you can tell me how the date went?"

"Lunch I can do. The rest? We'll see," Olivia replied. "Come here, Jellybean," she said pulling the young girl to her. "You have fun with Daddy and I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Love you mommy."

Olivia tightened her hold. "I love you too, Em. Behave, okay?"

Olivia and Phillip waved goodbye as he led Emma away.

"It's getting late," Olivia told Keira. "Why don't we call it a night? I'm sorry I had to keep you this long today."

"Honestly, I hadn't noticed," Keira replied. "I enjoy the work, and the company is pleasant."

"Well, the Beacon really is more like a family. Natalia brought a lot of… peace… that wasn't here before she arrived. It's nice to see you continuing that."

"Thanks," she replied. "But when I said 'company' I was actually talking about you – they say your reputation precedes you, but I have no complaints; only compliments."

The younger woman gave her a dazzling smile.

"Well, thank you," Olivia remarked blushing slightly.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them both look over. Natalia stood there and gave a short wave.

"It wasn't locked so I thought I'd walk in and…watch you flirt with my ex," Natalia told Keira with a slight grin.

Keira looked like she was at a loss for words. "I didn't. I mean – I wasn't."

"Ex-employer," Natalia told her. "You're doing my job now - my former job, I should say."

"Oh," Keira remarked, beginning to relax.

"You seemed a little nervous when I teased you there about flirting," Natalia pointed out.

"I-I wasn't flirting. I-I just really enjoy working here at the Beacon."

"Olivia's a good boss, but she can get grumpy if you haven't noticed yet."

"I-I haven't."

Natalia chuckled. "Someday you will. Just try not to take any cutting remarks she says too personal. If you can manage that then you'll survive."

Keira didn't seem to know how to respond and the room fell quiet.

"And with that awkward pause," Olivia said, "I'll wish you a good night, Keira."

"Good night, Miss Spencer," she said relieved.

"Olivia, please," she insisted.

"Right, Olivia." On her way out Keira simply nodded her goodbye to Natalia.

Once she was totally gone Olivia shook her head and looked disapprovingly at Natalia.

"What?" Natalia asked, faking innocence.

"You are so bad." Olivia then chuckled.

Natalia smiled and giggled. "I am not. I'm a very nice person."

Olivia snorted. She then raised her arm and pointed to the ficus tree in the corner.

"You know Tigress, if you want to lift a leg and spray over there you can start marking your territory around my desk."

Natalia put her hands on her hips. "Hey, I'm not the one who hired a Norwegian supermodel, okay? You couldn't find someone talented and…unattractive."

"My assistant has to be talented and attractive. Clients like pretty people. Sorry but it's true."

"Is that why you hired me? I was eye candy for clients?" Natalia inquired.

Remembering Doris's advice, Natalia didn't look away. Olivia didn't look away either. She leaned over the desk and said, "Truthfully? You were eye candy for me."

Natalia leaned against the desk and pushed her hair over her shoulder, exposing her neck.

"Oh really, all the way back then you knew, huh?" Natalia asked.

Olivia's playful smile began to slip. "I loved you a long time," she admitted.

Natalia reached over and gently took Olivia by the chin.

"The first naughty dream I ever had about you was a few days after Emma's birthday party when she got a gift from Phillip and you freaked."

Olivia looked away, trying to place the time and event. With a sense of wonder she looked back. "That was when we first met, wasn't it? You came to the party with Gus."

"Yep," Natalia nodded and put just a little bit of pressure into her grip.

Olivia visibly swallowed. "A naughty dream, huh? How naughty?"

Natalia smiled and let her fingertips brush Olivia's bottom lip just slightly as she let her go. "If you're a good girl, I'll tell you about it. But for now, I'm starving. Let's eat."

Natalia didn't wait for Olivia to reply. She walked out the office not turning back, but she did have a playful grin on her face the entire time. Olivia touched her bottom lip where Natalia had brushed against it. Suddenly she realized she wasn't moving and she raced to catch up, grabbing her purse along the way.

Chapter Nineteen

"Ms. Spencer. Ms Rivera," the maître d' greeted them. "It's been awhile since we've seen you both here. How have you been?"

It was a modest Italian restaurant. Tables for two sat along the walls and a few round ones took up the center.

"Good, Jimmy," Natalia answered for them both. "Yourself?"

"I can't complain," he said as he grabbed two menus.

"Do you mind if we have some place a little private; toward the back?" Natalia asked.

"Not at all," he replied. "Right this way."

After they took their seats, Olivia asked, "Afraid to be seen with me?"

Natalia grinned and took off her shoe. "Afraid we might get arrest for lewd acts is more like it."

Although the tablecloth nearly went to the floor and Natalia's foot couldn't be seen, Olivia could certainly feel it as it trailed up her leg. Natalia smiled as Olivia took a shaken breath. The Latina's foot came to rest on Olivia's chair, firmly planted between Olivia's legs. Whether she liked it or not, Olivia realized she couldn't escape without doing damage to the table, her knee, Natalia's leg or all of the above.

"Look," Olivia began. "I don't want to play games."

"Who's playing?"

"I'm serious."

"So am I," Natalia insisted. "You're not getting out of here until we share at least one meal with each other. Agreed?"

"Move your foot."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Yes."

Natalia cocked her head and began to chew on her own knuckle. Her eyes refused to look away from Olivia's. "Why?"

Olivia swallowed hard and looked everywhere except Natalia. "It just does."

"Look at me," Natalia ordered gently. Obediently, Olivia looked across the small table and focus on Natalia. "Why?"

"You know why."

"No, I don't. I desire you and I don't care who knows. You on the other hand…"

"Fine. You want the truth?" Olivia asked with a touch of acidity to her voice. "I still don't trust you, okay? And what's worse, is you don't know WHY I'm so upset."

"I'm not a mind reader."

"You don't have to read minds to realize that the way you left me was pretty damn shitty. Crisis or not, you don't do that to someone you love. You just don't. Yes, I'm glad you apologized for worrying me, but how about telling me that you were worried FOR me, huh? What about that? I haven't heard word one from you about that."

"I said I was sorry," Natalia pressed.

Olivia snorted. "Yeah, sorry for worrying me; sorry for hurting me; sorry for staying away too long. In the end though, none of that matters because you…"

Olivia couldn't say the words and Natalia took a deep breath.

"Abandoned you," Natalia finished for her. "Like everyone else ever did, huh?"

Olivia looked away. "You weren't supposed to be like everyone else." Her voice sounded small; childlike.

"Yeah, well, here's a news flash for you, okay?" Natalia went on. "First, I'm human - I make mistakes; pretty big ones at times. Second, unlike everyone else I didn't intentionally set out to hurt you, Olivia. I didn't hurt you because of selfish desires. I left to figure out what was best for everyone."

"There is no BEST here," Olivia told her. "Just different degrees of misery. You're pregnant with Frank's kid. If I come back, he's gonna be a part of our lives for the next 18 years, minimum."

"Yes, he will," Natalia replied. "But Frank's not a bad guy. And this baby'll make both our families bigger."

"We could have made our family bigger, but on our terms and when we were both ready," Olivia insisted.

"That wasn't God's plan though," Natalia answered.

Olivia smirked and shook her head in agitation.

"God's plan," she muttered at first. "Let me tell ya, unprotected sex with a man you didn't love has very little to do with God's plan. But it does have everything to do with ignorance."

Natalia didn't let Olivia's words sway her. "This child is here because of you too, Olivia."

"Hey, I wasn't the one who fucked you that night, alright?" she replied in a heated whisper. "I've never HAD that honor."

"No, but you WERE the one I wanted to fuck that night. That's my point," Natalia told her.

Olivia seemed taken back by the vulgarity that seldom crossed Natalia's lips.

Frustrated Natalia shook her head.

"I didn't sleep with Frank because I loved him. You know that. I slept with him because I love you. I was running away from how I felt about you. I had to convince myself that I didn't desire you; that I was still straight as an arrow." Natalia squared her shoulders. "Now I'm going to tell you something about that night. Something I wanted to tell you that day you held me on the sofa and you might hate to hear it."

"If it's about your evening with Frank, please don't," Olivia nearly sobbed.

"You need to hear this. Because even if you weren't physically there, the night this child was conceived, I thought about you. I closed my eyes and imagined you."

"I can't listen to this," Olivia teared up. "It's only more fuel to my argument that you never truly loved me."

"How can you say that?" Natalia said growing angry. "You are the love of my life, okay? God didn't put me in Springfield two years ago to find Nicky. He kept Nicky and I apart for so long so that you and I would find each other when the time was right. And we did. And this child is truly a gift.

"If that's true - if I am the love to end all loves - then why did you willingly give yourself to Frank?" Olivia pressed on. "It's been six months since you told me you loved me and where are we? Huh? You still haven't shared yourself with me as intimately as you did Frank – a man you claim you didn't love. So really, Natalia, where does that put me? Where does that PUT US?"

Olivia's shoulders were rising and falling rapidly; her breathing now labored.

Natalia reached across the table and took Olivia's hand. "You need to calm down, Sweetie," Natalia said softly. "It's not good for your heart."

"Ha!" she said as she quickly pulled her hand away. "You should have seen me the day at the Bauer BBQ…oh wait, you couldn't. You didn't show up. You didn't care then about my heart, or the entire time you were gone, so why care now?"

"I do care," Natalia answered. "I never stopped caring – not for a second."

Olivia didn't reply. She quietly sat chewing on her nail until the waiter arrived and asked, "Can I start you ladies off with a drink?"

Olivia reached down under the table and pushed Natalia's foot away.

"Sorry," she said, "I've lost my appetite."

"Olivia, wait," Natalia said as Olivia stood up.

"You stay," she told the younger woman. "Get some food. You're eating for two after all."

Feeling helpless for the moment, Natalia watched Olivia walk away.

Chapter Twenty

Natalia sat silently staring at the vacant chair across from her. Unseen by her, sitting near the front of the room, were Daisy and Ashlee. In front of them, was a half eaten pizza.

"Question," Ashlee began. "Do we ignore what we just saw and finish our pizza or do we walk over and say hi?" she added pointing to Natalia.

Daisy turned around. "She looks pretty upset."

"Maybe we should just leave her alone," Ashlee replied. "I’m not sure what that was, but both of them looked pretty pissed. I’m not sure we should be in the middle of it."

Daisy continued to study Natalia, who was now playing with the condensation on her glass of water.

"Stay here," Daisy said as she rose and made her way to the back of the restaurant. She stopped at the end of Natalia’s table and it took a moment for the older woman to realize someone was there.

"Hey," Daisy greeted when Natalia finally looked up.

"Hey, Sweetheart. How have you been?"

"Good…" She nodded, but she seemed unsure of what to add until she blurted, "You’ve seen better days I bet."

Natalia snorted and gave a short nod. "That’s an understatement, but yes," she remarked.

"Can I sit down?" Daisy asked. Natalia nodded and motioned her to the chair. Taking a seat, Daisy remarked, "Olivia looked pretty mad. BFF troubles?"

Natalia released a heavy sigh. "Something like that," she replied.

"It’s not easy when you fight with people you love. I haven’t fought often with Ashlee, but when we do, it’s usually a doozy, like that. But in the end… we realize we love each other and we forgive each other a-and things are better. Sometimes you need to do a little yelling to clear the air. I don’t know. I’m rambling, huh?" she asked as she nervously pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Not at all," Natalia told her.

Daisy pointed behind her to Ashlee. "We’re having pizza," she told her. Upon looking over and making eye contact, Ashlee smiled and waved to Natalia, who returned the gesture. "You want to come over and join us."

Natalia at first looked like she was going to refuse. "Well, I just ordered some take out but, sure, why not? I’ll come over for a little while."

"Cool!" Daisy smiled brightly and motioned Natalia to follow her back to her table.

XXX

Olivia stood at her bar downing the rest of her glass. She reached for the vodka bottle and filled it three fourths full and then added just a splash of tonic water before putting in a few ice cubes. She was about to bring it up to her lips when she heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Olivia called out.

"Janice, Ma’am," she heard a voice say.

With a confused expression, Olivia opened the door to see her front desk clerk standing there next to Natalia, who was holding a take-out bag.

"Thanks," Natalia told Janice. "Oh, and if she tells you you’re fired, ignore her." She gave the woman $20 and then walked into Olivia’s room, taking the hotelier with her and shutting and locking the door.

"You knew I wouldn’t open the door for you. God, you’re so damn sneaky," Olivia said with a laugh. "I love that. Ha!"

"You’re drunk," Natalia noted.

Olivia held her thumb and index finger about a quarter inch apart. "But just that much," Olivia told her. "But I’m working on ‘this much,’" she said as she held her finger to about two inches. "Want a drink?" Olivia asked as she went to the bar.

"I’m pregnant," Natalia reminded her.

"Hey, you drank for months after banging Frank. Like I said, what’s one more? Really?"

Natalia bite her lip. "I’m fine. Thank you."

"Suit yourself," Olivia told her, taking a drink from her glass, but not without raising it in a toasting fashion first. "Ahh," she added after the alcohol went down her throat. "How was dinner?" she asked.

Natalia raised the bag. "I figured you wouldn’t eat and you’d probably come back here to drink. It’s penne in marinara," she told her as she sat it down.

"A woman after my own heart," Olivia said as she looked inside the bag. "You are after my heart, aren’t you?"

"I am," Natalia replied honestly.

Olivia pulled Natalia toward the bed and made her take a seat at the foot. She then straddle Natalia’s lap and tossed the drink over her shoulder, not caring where it landed.

"Question is…are you after my body too?"

Olivia rested her arms lazily over Natalia’s shoulder as her hands gently played with the long, dark curls.

"I just brought the food, Olivia," Natalia told her. "I’m not looking for anything else. I don’t even want to talk. I just want to make sure you eat."

"What about three weeks ago?" Olivia asked.

"Excuse me?" Natalia asked.

"Did you worry if I was eating after Jeffrey’s funeral?" Natalia looked away with a guilty expression, but it didn’t stop Olivia from going on. "Did you wonder if I’d had breakfast that day I had to call Ava to tell her dad was dead? Did you worry if I took my meds that night? Did ya?"

"I didn’t know about Jeffrey," she replied quietly.

"What was that?" Olivia prodded. "You’ll have to speak up. I’m drunk, remember, so I didn’t catch that?"

Natalia’s jaw clinched and she said, "I didn’t know about Jeffrey!"

"And why is that, huh?!" Olivia said getting off her lap. "Ohh, that’s right. You had to go away and be with GOD while you left me here to DIE. Thanks Natalia. Thank you soooo much."

Natalia stood up and took Olivia by the hands. "Please. You’re drunk. Just sit down and have something to eat. We don’t have to say anything. You can just-."

Natalia stopped talking when she watched Olivia race over to the door and fling it open. She ran back over to the table and grabbed the handle of the food bag and tossed it out into the hallway. It landed against the other wall with such force that it fell to the floor scattering around. Olivia then slammed the door.

She turned slowly and in an eerie, calm voice said, "No thank you. I’m not hungry at the moment." Olivia began to take some deep breaths, as if trying to meditate. "You’re scared right now, aren’t you?" she asked opening her eyes. "Be honest."

"I am," Natalia replied and then swallowed hard.

"Don’t be. I won’t hurt you." Olivia walked over and caressed Natalia’s face. Natalia closed her eyes unsure of what to expect. Olivia studied the other woman’s features intently and started to grin. "Oh, Natalia…I can’t hurt you…you know why?" Olivia asked. Natalia opened her eyes as if looking for the answer. Olivia’s smile didn’t dip at all when she added, "You can’t be hurt because you’re totally heartless…In order to feel pain you need to feel empathy or sympathy. And you’re unable to do either…"

Natalia’s lip began to quiver. Olivia let her go and opened the door. She walked back to Natalia.

"Now get the hell out of my suite."

Wordless, Natalia got up. In mere seconds she pulled Olivia into a passionate embrace that caught the older woman off guard, both of their bodies shaking at the impact. Olivia struggled slightly, but Natalia held tight. She let one hand capture Olivia’s face roughly and she pulled her lips down to hers into searing kiss that only lasted a matter of seconds.

Shaken and still drunk, Olivia wobbled somewhat so Natalia pushed her back on the bed. She fell with a thud and struggled to get to her elbows. Before Olivia could stand or say anything coherent, Natalia was already at the door. Before she left though she looked over her shoulder.

"Call me after you sleep it off," she said defiantly.

Chapter Twenty-One

Natalia was smiling as she spoke on the phone. "Thank you Mr. Verdon. I'll be sure that Mr. Spaulding is aware of that…You too, sir. Goodbye."

"Natalia?" Alan called out from his interior office. "Can you bring me the Walters file my dear? I'd like to see the latest figures."

"Coming right up," she replied. She turned to the filing cabinet beside her and looked through it. Finding what she needed, she pulled it out and swiveled the chair around to stand up. But before she could rise Olivia was standing over her.

"We need to talk," Olivia replied.

"In case you haven't noticed," Natalia said shortly. "I'm at work."

"Alan?" Olivia called out toward the interior office. "I need Natalia. She's taking a break."

Olivia reached for Natalia, but she pulled away and Olivia seemed taken back for a moment. She sidestepped Olivia and made her way into Alan's office with the requested file in hand.

"Here you go, Alan," she said politely as she gave him the file with Olivia right behind her.

"Thank you very much," he told her sincerely. He then looked at Olivia. "Forget getting her back," Alan told her. "You tried to unload her on me, but the joke's on you because she's worth every penny." Alan smiled and Natalia turned to Olivia with a satisfied smirk.

"It's nice to feel needed," Natalia retorted.

"And I wish you two the best of everything," Olivia said sarcastically. "But be that as it may, I still need to talk with Natalia."

"About what?" Alan pried.

"None of your business. That's what," Olivia answered.

"My lunch is at two o' clock," Natalia told her. "Come back, and if I haven't left already, we can talk then. Right now, I'm busy." She then turned to Alan. "I should have that proposal for Ayers finished before then."

"Excellent," he told her happily. "Thank you very much, Natalia." Olivia still hadn't moved after Natalia had left the room. "Anything else, Olivia?" he asked. "As you see we're rather busy."

She simply shook her head. She walked out of his office closing the door behind her as she watched Natalia take her seat at her desk. The Latina didn't even look her way as Olivia paused to watch her. As Natalia began to type – still paying her no mind – Olivia made her way outside the office completely without a word.

XXX

"Glad you're still here," Olivia said as she entered the office and looked at her watch. "I'm ten minutes early. I hope you don't mind."

"Alan left already. He said I could go too, but I told him I would wait here since I told you two."

"Wanna take a walk?" Olivia asked.

"Not until you understand something," Natalia told her.

"Okay."

"What happened last night-."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Olivia interrupted sounding remorseful.

"You're damn right it won't. Or at least I wouldn't be around to see it," Natalia told her. "I love you - more than anyone – ever. But what I witnessed last night…" Natalia trailed off. Olivia opened her mouth, but Natalia held up her hand. "Do you know what a functioning alcoholic is?"

"I don't think I'm an alcoholic," Olivia replied.

"Neither did my father. He paid his bills. Held a job. Never got picked up for drunk driving – not even once. But, although he never laid a hand on my mother or me, we were abused. I can't tell you how many times I watched him drink a six-pack and then saw his rage grow…He'd proceed to throw things. Shout. Yell. Scream...It was agony. You know to this day I sleep with a pillow over my head. You know why?" Natalia took an unsteady breath.

Olivia had tears on the brims of her eyes as she shook her head.

"It was the only way I could get to sleep. I had to drown out the noise of my parents fighting most nights to the point that I just… got used to it. Even now I can't fall asleep without a pillow on my head. So when I told you that my life with you and Emma was the most stable I ever had, well, it truly was …And what happened last night…"

"Oh God, Natalia," Olivia muttered.

"You asked if I was scared," Natalia went on. "Do you remember?" Olivia nodded uncomfortably. "It felt like I was 16 again – pregnant, scared with a crazy, drunk person throwing things and yelling at me."

"I can be a real bitch. I know," Olivia replied.

"Oh, believe me. I know." Natalia gave a nervous laugh. "But never, in all the stunts you've pulled, did I ever see THAT before. What I witnessed last night… that drunken venom…that was my dad, all over again." Natalia cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. "I love you. I wanna build a life with you, Emma and this child. But I REFUSE to give this little girl, or even Emma for that matter, the life I had. It won't happen Olivia. So you need to make a choice right now. Is what I saw last night the real Olivia Spencer or some ghost of the past come back to haunt us?"

"Honesty… Perhaps both." Olivia let out a ragged sigh and shook her head. "I-I didn't know about your dad. You-you never said…"

"I don't talk about my parents for a reason," came Natalia's short response. Then she added, "Although the life I made for Rafe wasn't perfect, I did everything I could to make sure it wasn't abusive. I won't bring a child up in that kind of fear. I didn't do it as teenager so I sure as hell won't do it now as an adult. I just won't…no matter how much I love you. I'll spend the rest of my life alone if need be."

Olivia hung her head and rubbed her temples.

"You need to tell me Ms Spencer… No more games…What's it going to be?"

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Natalia," Olivia sighed as they stood in Alan's office.

"I need an answer," Natalia replied. "I won't live with an alcoholic – functional or otherwise. I won't."

Olivia paused as if trying to pick her words carefully. "First, I don't think I'm an alcoholic." She paused for a moment and smiled. "For one thing, I never run out of ice, which proves I'm not drinking too much," Olivia teased.

"Denial and jokes. Two of the signs."

"Damn it, Natalia," Olivia replied growing annoyed.

"Anger when questioned about the drinking – that makes three signs now."

"Fine," Olivia replied throwing her hands up. "I will never drink again. Ever. But if you ask me – and I know you didn't – I think you're being hypocritical. I've seen you drink."

"Not as escapism. There is nothing wrong with alcohol."

"After all, Jesus turned water into wine, right?" Olivia prodded.

"Exactly, He did," Natalia answered. "But He knew when to stop. Alcohol isn't evil – it's the excess and abuse of alcohol that's the problem."

"And you've never had a rough day and needed a drink?"

"I'm not saying that," Natalia replied. "I just don't make it a habit or use it as my 'relaxer' of choice."

"Neither do I," Olivia countered.

"I know that," Natalia sympathized, "but you have the propensity for it, Olivia. I've seen how you get sometimes and I saw you last night. That woman yesterday…I don't even want to KNOW that woman, much less share my life with her."

"Well, as I keep telling you, I'm moving on," Olivia told her. "I don't want you anymore."

"If that's the case, why are you here?" Natalia asked. "Perhaps you didn't notice, but I didn't seek you out. You came to find me." Natalia snorted. "You even came back AGAIN after I wouldn't talk to you the first time."

Olivia turned swiftly and began to make her way to the door. She began to open it, but Natalia quickly closed the distance and slapped the door closed with her palm flat against it.

Olivia kept her hand on the knob and her eyes forward, looking at the fake maple wood in front of her. Natalia stood so close that her breasts were touching the back of Olivia's arm.

"You came," Natalia told her getting as close to her ear as she could, "…because you love me. You felt guilty about what happened and even though you can't bring yourself to say it…you still desire me… and you still WANT to trust me." Olivia closed her eyes and swallowed down any reply she might offer for fear of what might escape. "I'm telling you Olivia…you can trust me. I'm being more honest with you than I've ever been in the entire time I've known you – and that's saying a lot because we've never been a couple to pull any punches with each other, have we?"

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, but she didn't turn around. She knew if she turned in Natalia's arms then her lips and hands would betray her resolve and she'd no longer be able to hold back. So instead she continued to face the door and muttered, "We're-we're not a couple anymore."

"We are and you know it," she told her. "And as for the drinking, here's the score. You want to have martini's with Doris at Towers now and then – no problem. You want to relax after a 12-hour day with a glass or two of wine at home – that's fine. Just promise me you'll never reach for a bottle when you're upset or have more than three drinks in a row… Never drink so much as a drop to find 'courage' or to 'calm' yourself… If you promise me…I can live with that."

"I'm not living with you period," Olivia pointed out, sounding a tad more defiant.

Natalia's lips curled just slightly at Olivia's small show of force.

"No, you're not," Natalia agreed and then added, "Not yet anyway," as her lips lightly nipped at the area between Olivia's cheekbone and earlobe. She then reached down and opened the door for Olivia. She let her hand stroke Olivia's back until it made it's way to the older woman's backside. Giving her bottom a quick, but firm, slap she added, "Towers. Tonight. Eight o' clock."

Natalia grinned confidently as she walked away. Olivia for her part, stiffed at the spank and she felt her heart rate jump in response. It wasn't until the warmth of Natalia's body was completely gone that she finally turned around.

"Now just wait a second," she said putting her hands on her hips as she watched Natalia return to her desk, "you can't just smack my ass and order me to-."

"Eight o' clock," Natalia told her firmly, not breaking eye contact. "Towers. Be there."

Olivia realized that Natalia wasn't looking away, and she had to admit, she liked THIS Natalia. It reminded her of the women she knew during her recovery who wouldn't take no for an answer. It reminded her of all their spirited debates. It reminded her of how wet she got each and every time.

In spite of herself, Olivia began to grin and played with her fingernails. "Eight?" she asked, almost submissively.

Olivia missed the huge smile that appeared on Natalia's face if only for a second or two.

"Yes. Not eight o' one. Eight sharp," Natalia said firmly and picked up her purse. "Now, if you'll excuse me I have a lunch date I'm late for."

Natalia worked around Olivia and Olivia appeared rooted as she watched her go by.

"A date? With who?" Olivia asked concerned.

"Matt," Natalia answered stone-faced.

"Matt? Really?" Olivia asked somewhere between concern and skepticism. It couldn't be true, but why did Natalia looked so…serious.

Natalia couldn't hold back any longer and chuckled.

"No, I'm yankin' your chain." She chuckled. Olivia grinned too. "But that look on your face was priceless."

"The devil is truly in you, Woman." Olivia smiled even bigger.

"You really, REALLLLY don't know the half of it." Natalia smirked. "But I did tell Blake I'd have lunch with her at Company. So I do have to go."

Natalia was at the door when she stopped and turned around. "Oh, and wear your dark gray, lapel-less blazer with the matching gray pants." The sentence came out like an order and not a special request in the slightest. "You wore it the day we went wedding dress shopping. You know the one, right?"

"Yeahhhh," Olivia replied hesitantly and finally remembered. "But why do you-?"

"You look sexy as hell in it. That's why." Natalia smiled and then opened the door. She stopped for a minute and then said, "Okay, you'd look sexy in potato sack, but that suit…" Natalia released a noise that was a mix between a sigh of contentment and a groan of sheer pleasure. "I never got the chance to tell you about my dreams." She licked her lips and Olivia's breath caught for a moment that it was nearly audible. Then, without looking back, as she was departing again, Natalia said, "Eight sharp. Don't forget."

The door closed and Olivia stood still for a moment. She reached into the pocket of her pants and literally had to adjust her panties.

"Oh I'm in so much trouble here," she sighed.


	2. PART TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See Part One for Summary

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Olivia stood in the examining room of the hospital with her hands on her hips.

"Can you look after your niece or not, Rick?" she asked. Emma stood there batting her eyes up at him.

"Phillip said no?" Rick asked.

"He has plans tonight and he kept her last night, so I don't want to impose. Jane is going out of town this weekend so she can't and it's…tonight is an important meeting I can't miss," Olivia explained.

"You know she's a basketball shark," Rick said looking down at Emma with a grumpy expression that slowly turned into a grin that made the young girl grin in response. "I guess I can take her," he answered with mock disgust, "but she's not getting me on the court again! I learned my lesson!"

"Thank you, Rick," Olivia said relieved. "I really appreciate it. So will 6 to 10 PM tonight be okay?"

"Why not let her stay? I'm off tomorrow," he suggested. "You okay with that?" he asked Emma.

"Yep," Emma replied. "And I can show you how you can beat Buzz Cooper at cards like I do."

"And a card shark too?" Rick observed and then turned to Olivia. "You must be soooo proud."

"That's my girl," Olivia said smugly, giving him a slight push.

Rick smiled, but then took Olivia aside and asked softly, "So, what's the story? Another date with Matt? Really?" he asked.

"You know, Matt is a really sweet guy."

"Yeah, whatever. You could have me, you know? Rich doctor, successful man, fellow heart transplant recipient – all here for the asking." He waved over his body in a grand gesture.

Olivia sucked in a breath and clinched her teeth before speaking. "Ya know Rick, as tempting as that is… I have to say, sadly, I have a better offer, but thanks. Thanks for giving me… options."

Rick shrugged. "I'm just saying…"

"I know you are, but really…please don't." He patted his chest twice in a diplomatic, yet slightly patronizing, manner.

"You're missing a good thing," Rick retorted.

"I'm sure I am – I'm sure I am." Olivia nodded. "I'll regret it someday, you betcha. Anyway, uh, 6 PM then? You'll be off shift?"

"Sure, bring Em back then," Rick replied.

Olivia nodded. "Thanks, I mean it."

"Don't mention it," he told her. "All unsuccessful flirting aside," he said with a slight grin. "You know I consider Emma family, right? It's really no trouble."

"Thank you. And family or not, your help tonight IS appreciated."

Rick gave Olivia a pat on the arm as they walked back toward Emma.

"Let me take you gals to a yummy lunch of hospital food," he said.

"You're on," Olivia replied, bumping shoulders with him.

XXX

"You slapped her butt?" Blake asked Natalia in a conspiratorially tone. The pair sat at the booth at Company and women began to giggle. "Really?"

"Yep," Natalia said with a nod. "And I pretty much told her she needs to be there at eight…or else…"

"Or else what?" Blake asked, looking excited.

"I have no idea! I didn't think that far ahead," Natalia laughed and Blake joined in. "So what do I do if she's late?" Natalia asked.

"You know spanking is out of the question 'cause she'd like it too much. She'd never be on time again in her life." They continued to laugh and Natalia waved her hands for them to keep the volume down, but Blake didn't let up and added, "And you do realize the woman still takes heart medication, right? You might end up killing her." Again, both women laughed. "Oh my, who'da have thought Olivia Spencer likes to play the submissive. Then again," Blake reconsidered. "I hear powerful people like it when lovers take control in the bedroom. You might have your hands full," she laughed.

Natalia laughed too, but said, "Enough about me…What about you? What's on your romantic front?"

Blake blushed. "Well, there is kinda someone."

"Really? Who is he?" Natalia asked in a hopeful tone. "Or am I being presumptuous? After all, you said you were disappointed I picked Olivia over you."

Blake grinned. "It's a guy. Or at least I think it's a guy."

"Oooookay," Natalia replied confused.

"I've been chatting with him online," Blake clarified. "I've never met him, but he's…kinda shy. Says he got burned by love. I told him I'm a young widow, but not TOO young or too old. He's funny and he's not pushy and…he sounds really cute."

"He sounds cute? You've never seen a picture of him?" Natalia asked.

Blake shook her head. "We've just chatted online…but I did have a question though."

"Okay," Natalia replied.

"How do you know if a woman is into you?"

Natalia chuckled. "Where did that come from?"

"We're talking about dating and I've been meaning to ask you because… I'm curious if someone might be into me."

Natalia laughed again. "You're asking the wrong gal. I didn't know for months that Olivia liked me for more than a friend. In fact, I didn't know for sure until she told me. I mean I suspected, but…You should probably talk to Olivia since she said she was sure I was into her, but she wasn't about to make a move."

"Wait. She knew you loved her, but she told you to marry Frankie anyway?"

Natalia nodded. "She was scared too. She wanted me to have the DREAM."

"The dream?"

"You know, the house with the white fence, two point five children, a spouse who was strong and protective…In the end, I still have the house, I have someone who loves me – although she doesn't trust me yet – and she's someone who's strong and protective. And as for kids…" Natalia rubbed her belly. "I'm only a half kid shy now on that front, but maybe I can count Emma as half a kid since she'll be an adult in the next 10 years. That way I'll be able to say I have two grown children and…oh my, one in middle school. Sheesh…." Blake smiled. "Anyway …why the curiosity?"

Blake opened her mouth and then closed it. "Well, we've got someone – a customer – she comes in and there's just this 'vibe' I guess you'd call it." Blake shook her head. "I'm probably imagining it."

"Do you want to explore it?" Natalia asked.

"But I'm not gay," Blake answered.

"Yeah, I told myself that too, which is why I have a date with one of the hottest women in Springfield tonight."

Blake chuckled. "Well, I know my gaydar must not work because really there is no way this woman is even interested." Natalia smiled and began to drink her lemonade. "I mean she went after you and Olivia for Emma's two mommies report, so I know-." Blake trailed off as Natalia began to choke. "Are you okay?"

Natalia coughed and Blake rubbed her back.

"Yeah, yeah." Natalia took a drink from her water glass. Feeling relieved, she said in a low voice as not to be overheard, "So I'm guessing… Doris Wolfe?"

"Yeah," Blake said as she continued to rub Natalia's back for a few more seconds. "I know that sounds crazy. I could always ask Ashlee, I guess, but maybe she doesn't know - like Rafe, so …I don't know…"

Blake seemed flustered at the prospect and Natalia grinned and cleared her throat. "Well, let's just say for argument's sake that Doris was gay, or at least gay-friendly…Honestly, between us, would you be interested?"

Blake considered it. "No…well, maybe…Actually, I'm not sure." Natalia giggled at the reply. "I'm being real decisive, huh?" Natalia only smiled. "You know it's not like I've never thought about being with a woman. I mean, just about every woman has, right?" Natalia pursed her lips and nodded as Blake rolled her eyes. "Look, who I'm talking to? Okay. Correction. I mean 'run of the mill' women who don't have dates with hot women tonight."

"I follow you," Natalia replied. "In fact, Cosmo recently said it's like the number one fantasy straight women have."

"Really?" Blake asked. "So I'm – we're – not alone."

"We are not, but there's a difference though. Some women like to play the fantasy between their ears only. I, on the other hand…I'm so tired of fantasies – I need some reality, if you follow me. And the sooner, the better."

"Pregnancy hormones kicking in, huh?"

"Oh my goodness, yes," Natalia sighed in frustration. "I think that's why I found the courage to slap her butt. Okay, maybe it's really not bravery. It's just…"

"Horniness?"

"Exactly! I want her so much!" Natalia clinched her fists.

"Down girl," Blake replied with a giggle.

"I'm sorry," Natalia said as she blushed. "Anyway, back to Doris… If she's game, are you in?"

"Are you trying to set me up?" Blake asked.

"Nooo," Natalia said trying to lie. "Okay, maybe a little." Blake chuckled. "Look, Olivia knows her pretty well and Doris said the whole speech wasn't personal at all – just political fodder."

"I don't want Doris thinking I'm hitting on her," Blake remarked. "Not that's she's not worth hitting on because...she is an attractive woman - nice hair, sweet smile." Blake shook her head as if to clear it. "Like I said, it was just a vibe I've gotten."

"Blake, it's simple. Olivia could take her to lunch and just throw the idea out there – kinda like we're doing. She could pose a 'what if' kinda scenario. I mean there's no harm, right?"

Blake seemed undecided and then gave a heavy sigh. "Fine…But this is NOT my idea!" she stressed. "And aside from Olivia, it doesn't go any further than this table. Agreed?"

"My lips are sealed," Natalia replied with a grin.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Olivia walked into Towers and saw Natalia sitting at the bar. Natalia looked at her watch and she smiled. It was eight o' five, but as she requested Olivia was wearing her dark gray suit she admired.

"You're late," Natalia pointed out.

"Yeah, I am," Olivia replied, defiantly.

Natalia giggled. "I saw your car in the parking lot ten minutes ago. You're testing me."

Olivia gave her a guilty grin. "Call it my rebellious streak. I can't come across as TOO whipped after all."

Natalia reached up and stroked Olivia's face. She could sense a bit of reluctance at the gesture, but she was grateful and relieved when Olivia didn't automatically pull away.

"You're here and in the suit I adore," Natalia replied. "So if waiting five minutes makes you feel like your 'womanhood' is still in tact, I guess I can live with that."

Olivia grinned and turned toward the bartender who asked her, "The usual?"

Olivia looked like she was going to nod, but stopped and said, "Ice water with lemon please."

The bartender nodded and walked away.

"I told you. You can drink," Natalia said.

"And like I told you earlier, I don't HAVE to drink," Olivia retorted. "I'm at a place where I can take it or leave it, and tonight, I want to leave it."

"Fair enough," Natalia replied. "You want to get a table?" she asked as she pointed behind her. "There's something I want to speak to you privately about, and no, for once, it's not about us, but it is kinda juicy," she said excited.

Olivia's interest was piqued. "What is it?" she asked with a growing grin.

"You'll never believe it," she giggled.

XXX

"So you did it," Olivia said. "You turned Blake gay?"

Natalia laughed loudly at first and then covered her mouth in embarrassment.

"I did no such thing," she insisted firmly, but in a soft voice.

"Well, you turned me gay," Olivia teased, looking serious and then grinning widely.

"You're so bad," Natalia chuckled.

"You're like a…like a lesbo-generator. Any woman that gets within two feet of you is like 'BAM!' – there you have it - a friend of Sappho."

"Stop," Natalia told her as she continued laughing. "You're gonna make the pregnant woman pee," she warned.

"Yeah, but you love it – well, not the peeing part. I just know that no matter how much you try to complain or act indignant, you like my jokes."

Natalia smiled and soaked up Olivia's grin. She took the other woman's hand in hers.

"Yes, I do," she said seriously, although she still wore her smile. "In fact, there's very little I DON'T like about you. But I think you know that already."

Olivia seemed to stiffen slightly under Natalia's gentle embrace and she slowly removed her hand under the guise of reaching for her water.

"So, uh, what are we supposed to do? About Blake, I mean?" Olivia asked.

"I thought maybe you could feel out Doris." Olivia wore a wicked grin at Natalia's words. "Okay, that came out sounding dirty," the Latina admitted. "Let me rephrase: Ask Doris if she'd be interested in Blake. How's that?"

"Sounds less naughty, and therefore, less fun, but sure, why not?"

Olivia grabbed her cell phone and pushed a button.

"What are you doing?" Natalia asked.

"Calling Doris," she answered.

"Go see her! Don't just ask on the phone. You have to gauge her reaction."

"What do you mean 'gauge her…'?" Olivia asked, but before Natalia could reply Olivia had to quickly put the phone to her ear. "Hey, it's Olivia. You, uh, wanna have lunch tomorrow?" Olivia looked over to Natalia as if silently asking that was okay and Natalia nodded. "Okay, good, Company is fine." Quickly, Natalia started shaking her head. "Orrrrr, how about Towers instead or even the Beacon?" Olivia sighed. "If you come to the Beacon it's my treat…Okay, the Beacon then. How's one o' clock sound?" Olivia paused. "Yeah, I'm good…Yeah, she's sitting across from me right now, actually…Doris says hi," she told Natalia.

"Hi Doris," Natalia said loud enough to be heard.

"Okay, well I gotta go... One tomorrow it is…Bye." Olivia hung up and faced Natalia. "Why can't I take her to Company?"

"Blake works there," Natalia answered annoyed.

"And that's bad because…?" Olivia let the sentence hang.

"You're not supposed to be asking Doris directly. It's supposed to one of those 'what if' conversations, like, 'What if Blake Marler was interested in going out?' kinda deals."

"Exactly," Olivia retorted. "If Blake is working behind the counter it wouldn't seem so out of left field to ask if she thought Blake was cute, would it?"

Natalia considered Olivia's logic. "That's true. You make a great point. Call Doris back."

Olivia let out an exasperated sigh and ran a hand down one cheek.

"Woman! You drive me insane," she whispered hotly in bogus-anger.

Natalia laughed. "I'm just trying to play matchmaker for our friends. Is that so wrong?"

The dark haired woman showed her dimples and fluttered her eyelashes. Olivia groaned and pushed the button on the cell phone.

"Hey," she said into the phone. "I just remembered I'm going to be closer to Company around one, so can we go there after all…Yes, I'll still buy… Okay, I'll see you then. Bye." She then disconnected and face Natalia again. "Happy now?"

"Delighted," Natalia replied with a smirk.

"Stop that," Olivia told her firmly with a growing grin.

"Stop what?"

"Taking my advice by batting those baby browns to get what you want."

Natalia leaned closer toward Olivia. "So it really works, huh?"

Olivia closed her eyes and hummed softly. "Yes, like a charm," she replied and then opened her eyes again to see that Natalia was staring at her bosom unabashed. Olivia grinned. "Hey, Sweetheart? My eyes are up here," she said snapping her fingers and pointing to her face.

"I wasn't looking at your eyes," Natalia replied as she continued to mental undress Olivia. She rolled her shoulders and then finally looked up to Olivia's face to see that the older woman was blushing. "Did I just make Olivia Spencer, THE Olivia Spencer bashful?"

"You know I've had men…admire me, but…I've never had that happen."

"What exactly?" Natalia asked as her tongue snaked out to grab her drink straw before taking a drink.

Olivia licked her lips. "Never look so… shameless. Really…what did those nuns do you to you?"

Natalia giggled slightly. "Honestly?" Olivia nodded. "I read the bible, a lot. I read quite a few publications they had about love and sex and about how sex and sexual desire weren't only natural, they should be celebrated among couples…When I was able to balance that - the lifelong lessons of sinful lust and the scripture that allowed people to take pleasure in the flesh with a loved one then…well…everything made sense. I knew what I had to do – for the baby, for Frank, but most importantly for us. I came back here for you Olivia - not because this child's father is here but instead because her mother is here...You…I meant what I said last night, although I said it in anger and frustration…This child is here now because of the desire I felt for you." As she finished Natalia took her hand. "I always understood that I loved you. I desired you. But a part of me was never at peace with that, not totally."

Olivia swallowed hard and looked almost fearful. "But you're saying now you are?"

"I am," Natalia answered. "And I know you've wondered what happens if the next scary event drives me away again, but it didn't, did it? I mean when Rafe told me he joined up…" Natalia trailed off and closed her eyes. "I wanted to run. I wanted to grab him and just run, but… I came to the one person I needed most in the world. Grant it, her initial reaction was the last thing I needed and it didn't stop me from trying to close this distance between us, but-."

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Natalia," Olivia tried to being to speak but Natalia raised her hand.

"You've been hurt yourself. I'm the one that hurt you. I get that. I do. And I know that showing up on your doorstep – or more accurately your door – was a lot to ask of you. I just need you to realize that I was there because…you're all I want. That's the easiest way for me to say it. Rafe is a grown man and he's got his own life now…It's time for me to have a life and I want that life to be with you." Natalia had unshed tears in her eyes, but she widened them and sniffed slightly. "Anyway," she said cheerfully. "Hormones and such aside…Thanks for coming tonight. I AM SO glad you're here."

Slowly, Olivia smiled. "I am too…but you promised me something…"

"What?"

Olivia's smile turned into a sexy smirk. "You've had naughty dreams you said that you'd discuss."

Natalia's smirk began to rival Olivia's

"Yes. Yes I did, didn't I?"

Olivia nodded and bit her lip in anticipation.

"Rather than tell you about the first dream I had why don't I tell you about the 'best' dream?"

"Why not do both?" Olivia coaxed and wiggled her eyebrows.

Natalia giggled shyly.

Chapter Twenty-Five

"So, you wanna know the first sexy dream I had about you, huh?" Natalia asked as the pair sat at the table at Towers.

"Yeah, I wanna hear." Olivia simply licked her lips, not adding more.

"Maybe we should order first. I wouldn't want to be interrupted," Natalia said coyly.

"Waiter," Olivia barked and waved him over anxiously.

Natalia stifled down a chuckle.

"Linguini?" Olivia asked her date.

"Yes, please," Natalia answered.

"Two linguini," Olivia instructed and then turned back to Natalia. "Now, you were saying?"

"I AM a patient woman," Natalia smirked. "You, obviously, are not."

"Honey, you have enough patience and sainthood for both of us…at least I'm hoping you do because, really, if not, I'm in serious trouble."

Natalia smiled and held out her hand on top of the table. "I've never…done anything like this – I mean…I've never told someone about naughty dreams so can I get a little support here please?" she said as she wiggled her fingers.

Olivia looked reluctant for only a second or two before she took her hand. "This better?" she asked.

"Much," Natalia replied. Olivia's hands were so soft. The Latina's fingers tightened and released around Olivia's a few times. "Now where was I?"

"First sexy dream," Olivia prompted. "That's as far as we got."

"The first dream wasn't sexy, not really. It was just a kiss. It was maybe two days – three days tops – after we met at Emma's birthday party."

"That soon, really? I thought you were teasing when you said it before."

"Not at all. I realized very quickly how truly gorgeous you are." Natalia studied Olivia's lips intently, getting lost in her examination. Realizing she wasn't saying anything she shuddered slightly and continued, "Anyway, in the dream I had gone into your foyer, but it wasn't a foyer, it was a kitchen."

"A kitchen?"

"It's a dream so it doesn't all make sense," Natalia explained.

"True. Go on."

"So I opened up the refrigerator and suddenly you were behind me. You asked if I found the fruit punch for the kids and I said yeah. I turned around and we were face-to-face…but it didn't feel awkward for you to be that close. I remember looking into your eyes and saying I'd never seen anyone with a color quite like yours. I felt hypnotized - like I couldn't escape. But the thing is, I didn't want to escape. I wanted to feel you possess me. I wanted your arms around me - your lips on mine." Unconsciously both women licked their lips. "Then you leaned in and you kissed me…but I didn't seem shocked. I didn't resist…I…well I dropped the punch and grabbed your face to pull you closer and that's when I woke up thinking, 'What was that?' And, of course, the next day I said lots of Hail Mary's."

Olivia chuckled.

"Funny, I know," Natalia replied. "But even back then I knew. You were unlike any other woman I'd ever met. You were scared that day, but… there was still this strength and determination that totally shined through…You were…you still are magnificent," Natalia clarified.

"I know the feeling," Olivia replied as she squeezed Natalia's hand. "There were times that I was very jealous of you because you had Gus, but the truth is… there were also times that I was jealous of him…he had you, completely. You adored him and…At first, I thought it was because I wanted someone to adore me that way, but then I realized… it was more." Olivia smiled bashfully, but then she looked scared and worried.

Natalia knew immediately what the look meant. "Please don't," she pleaded. "Don't shut me out. Go on. I need to hear what you want to say."

Olivia grinned due in part to what she knew she wanted to say, but also because Natalia really could read her that well. She swallowed hard and continued. "I wanted you to adore ME like that…but, of course, you never would so I… I did a lot of lashing out. I said a lot of things I didn't mean because it was…I don't know…safer?" Olivia shrugged. She then shook her head. "I was so harsh to you and…even today it feels like maybe I didn't learn my lesson the first time."

Natalia squeezed Olivia's hand. "You have every right to feel how you do, Olivia. And I don't think you intentionally tried to hurt me - even the date with Matt was nothing more than you 'running' from how you feel. You've been trying to protect yourself - and I get why. So... I came back with a strong resolve about my feelings, sure. But I know the way I left – and that need I had for solitude – it ripped you apart and... I broke your heart. But I honestly didn't think you would take things as hard as you did because… no one ever missed me."

"I don't believe that," Olivia replied.

"It's true," Natalia replied. "I'm not saying I didn't make acquaintances - I have. But my existence was never important to anyone... except maybe Rafe. And lately..." Natalia sighed.

"Well, I know for a fact that Jonesy in Chicago remembered you."

Natalia grinned. "You went to Jonesy's looking for me?"

"Yep. Nice guy," Olivia said in short, choppy sentences. "Seemed to recall you quite fondly…. I kinda handcuffed myself to his bar."

"What?" Natalia giggled.

Olivia looked embarrassed. "I mentioned I went a little psycho while you were gone, didn't I?" Natalia seemed dumbfounded so Olivia went on. "Yeah, trespassing charge. Got tossed in jail, but Josh came and bailed me out."

Natalia's mouth hung open. "You're making that up," she finally replied, unconvinced.

"Yeaaaaah, I wish I was, but…nope – it happened. In fact, next month I go back to court."

"Oh my goodness," Natalia said. "Well, can you get him to drop the charges?"

Olivia paused and bit her lip. "Jonesy really doesn't like me very much."

"Oh for Pete's sake," Natalia sighed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She didn't wait for Olivia to reply. "I'll call him and get him to drop the charges."

"I don't need you to pick up the mess I made," Olivia replied.

"I know. But it's my mess too, remember? We're a couple. What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours and we share everything – no secrets."

"Do we?" Olivia asked hopefully but with a touch of fear. "A big part of me wants to believe that, but there's this nagging voice that's telling me...don't be a chump again."

Natalia leaned over and brought Olivia's hand to her lips, kissing the knuckles. "I swear to you Olivia. With all I have…you mean the world to me."

Olivia grinned if only for a couple of seconds. She cleared her throat. "Why don't you tell me about your best dream now?"

Natalia gave her a sexy smirk and released her hand. She got up and she moved toward the seat next to Olivia as the hotelier looked at her curiously. She leaned down to Olivia's ear as she took her seat.

"I think if someone overhears this next conversation…we might get banned from Towers for life," she whispered.

"Oh wow," Olivia said hopefully as she felt Natalia's left hand settle at her knee giving it a light squeeze.

"I should preface this tale by saying thanks."

"Thanks?" Olivia asked confused.

"The first, and last, orgasm I ever had was the result of this dream I'm about to tell you."

"Oh good god," Olivia sighed, her mouth slightly open.

Natalia ran a finger down Olivia's jaw line. "Do I have your attention, Ms Spencer?"

She smirked.

"Undivided…"

Chapter Twenty-Six

"I just needed to make sure I have your total attention," Natalia teased.

"I'm intrigued, yes," Olivia said sounding frustrated.

Natalia laughed quietly and turned a bit more so she could face Olivia who was seated next to her. The close proximity of Natalia's body wasn't lost on Olivia in the slightest and the older woman couldn't help it when her eyes wondered down to Natalia's cleavage that sat only inches away.

"Guess I'm not the only breast gal at this table," Natalia noted with a sexy leer.

Olivia looked away, appearing slightly fretfully, but then turned back to face Natalia with renewed confidence.

"So do you have any idea why I asked you to wear this suit tonight?" Natalia asked.

Natalia's fingertips trailed down Olivia's arm, feeling the material, as she studied Olivia's profile. She could tell that any hope Olivia had of being tranquil in her presence was immediately departing. Her own breathing quickened as she watched Olivia's pupils dilating in arousal. And she knew Olivia's words might say one thing tonight, but the older woman's body would betray itself. Natalia grinned eagerly at the thought.

Awestruck, Olivia simply shook her head, unable to vocalize a single thought.

"You wore this..." Natalia said as she played gently with the sleeve as her breath danced across Olivia's neck, "…the day we went shopping for wedding dresses. Remember?"

Olivia struggled to find her voice. "I, uh, I remember that day, yeah."

"Yeah," Nat agreed with a seductive tilt to her voice. It sounded almost like a purr and Olivia had to look away. "You wanted me that day, didn't you?"

Natalia reached her wrist and she could feel how fast Olivia's pulse was pounding under her fingertips. She felt her mouth go dry as Olivia's eyes fluttered closed. Natalia smiled hungrily and began to unbutton Olivia's jacket at an excruciating slow pace. She took great delight as her fingers brushed against the hotelier's breasts and stomach.

"'talia," was all Olivia could manage to push from her lips.

Once all the buttons were undone, Natalia's hand snaked up between Olivia's breasts. She continued to reach up until her hand was able to stroke Olivia's cheek. The gesture forced Olivia's eyes opened again and she was suddenly meet with Natalia's wanton stare.

There were plenty of times that Olivia witnessed love and devotion reflected in Natalia's eyes, but never did she see this deep…passion. That look alone made the muscles deep inside of Olivia clinch in unlimited craving and what soon followed was a wetness that Olivia hadn't felt in years…perhaps ever. She physically had to shift in her seat to relieve the pressure.

Natalia opened Olivia's jacket slightly and took great delight in examine Olivia's bust line. She then reached across the table and dropped her napkin to the floor between them.

"Oops," she said as she put her hand on cheek in mock-surprise. "Be right back."

Olivia thought her heart would stop as Natalia's head bobbed down to her lap as the younger woman fished for the napkin on the floor. When she came back up, having not touched Olivia in the slightest, the older woman was both grateful and disappointed all at once.

"I just had to find out," Natalia said casually as she tossed her napkin back to the table.

"What?" Olivia asked, as if trying to get her bearings back.

Natalia smiled. "If I could smell your desire for me through that gorgeous suit."

"Oh, fuck," Olivia swore under her breath and wiped her forehead of the growing perspiration she was beginning to feel.

"You smell delicious, by the way," she said trying to come off as being casual. Natalia continued to smile at the reaction, but then she looked serious again. The lust promptly returned to her eyes. "No more secrets - we promised…" she added in a whisper. "You wanted to take me at that dress shop, didn't you?"

Olivia swallowed and tried to look away, but Natalia captured her chin. Unable to escape, Olivia took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yes," she surrendered. "I wanted you."

"I know. I could tell by the way you looked at me in that mirror." Natalia released a slight groan of her own before continuing. "I could tell by the way the back of your fingers caressed my shoulders and arm as you adjusted the smock. I could tell by the way your eyes devoured me in a way you wish your lips and mouth could…" Olivia could only nod in reply, as Natalia continued, sounding breathless herself. "It took all the willpower you had to hold yourself back from exploring me that day, didn't it?"

Olivia took a ragged sigh. "God, yes."

Natalia grinned and continued almost breathlessly, "I know you did. That's why later that night… that's when it happened."

"What?" Olivia asked, finally turning her head to look at Natalia.

"In my dream," Natalia whispered. "In my dream, you had no willpower and you wore this outfit the first time you made me come…" Olivia let out the smallest of whimpers that didn't go undetected by Natalia. "That turns you on, doesn't it? It makes you wonder what you did to me, huh?" Natalia asked brazenly.

"Don't tease," Olivia managed in a breathy response.

"It's only teasing if I don't tell you what happened," Natalia breathed and rested her forehead against Olivia's temple. "Do you wanna hear? I'll stop now if you want."

Olivia licked her lips and her arm slipped under the table and squeezed Natalia's leg, slowly she began to raise the material of the skirt Natalia was wearing.

"T-Tell me… how…" Olivia struggled.

Natalia grinned wickedly as she put a halt to Olivia's hand. "How what…?"

Olivia turned to face Natalia and the look of lust in Natalia's eyes momentarily caught her off guard. She didn't dwell on it though. Instead her other palm cupped Natalia's cheek and she sighed herself when she watched the Latina woman melt into the slight embrace. Natalia nuzzled her hand with a mixture of affection and desire, and when Olivia didn't reply, Natalia opened her eyes and fixed them on Olivia's.

"Say it, Honey," Natalia prompted.

"How did I make you come?" Olivia asked.

The question came out like an unadulterated, desire-filled whine of pure ache and heat, the likes of which even caught Natalia by surprise.

But it wasn't just the words alone, but also Olivia's actions. On the word 'come,' Olivia's thumb brushed Natalia's cheekbone affectionately and the dark-haired woman moaned. The Latina shifted her head slightly and planted a kiss on the ball of Olivia's hand, just below the thumb. Then Natalia moved her chair over slightly and tucked her body even closer to Olivia.

"I'll tell you, Cariño," Natalia replied breathless herself. "I'll tell you."

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Where should I begin?" Natalia pondered.

Before she got any further though they both looked up to see the waiter standing there with a serving tray and two plates.

"You moved," he mentioned to Natalia.

"Yeah, just sit it here please," she told him as she pointed. "Thank you," she added as he rested her plate down before her.

"Can we get two boxes and the bill now?" Olivia told him. "I'm not sure how much longer we'll be here."

"Certainly," he replied and then added, "Are you feeling okay? You look a little flushed."

"I'm good. Just those boxes please."

"Absolutely," he replied.

After he left the table, Natalia giggled.

"See what you do to me?" Olivia replied with a slight grin herself. "All the blood as left my face and moved to other areas. Even the 'help' is noticing."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Natalia retorted.

Olivia paused for a moment not saying anything.

"I'm soooo gonna wreck you for anyone else in the world – you'll never want another lover in your bed after tonight. You wait and see."

"Promises, promises," Natalia teased with a bored sigh.

"You think I'm kidding?"

"No, but you're not ready for that," Natalia replied being serious again. "Not yet anyway."

"Believe me dear. I'm ready."

"Physically? Yeah. The taunt nipples and the puddle in your chair says as much," she said, making Olivia groan. "Emotionally though?" Natalia just shook her head. "HOWEVER, there's no reason why we can't…play… I'm game if you are?"

Olivia licked her lips.

The waiter arrived with two boxes. "Here's the bill too. Did you need anything else right now?"

"We're good, Brad," Natalia replied. "Thank you."

He smiled and after he walked away, Olivia asked. "You know him?"

"No," Natalia said, sounding confused.

"Oh, well, you mentioned him by name," Olivia explained.

"Yeah, it's on his name tag." She laughed softly.

"Well, to be honest, I wasn't paying attention to 'Brad' – I've been a bit preoccupied," Olivia retorted.

Natalia smiled. "I've worked in the service industry and it was always nice when customers treated me like a person and not an errand girl. How do you think I manage to get us the best seats and service whenever we go out? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, dear."

"Well, let's get back to why I can't 'catch you' tonight," Olivia replied. "You're not pulling a 'come here / go away routine,' are you? Because—"

"Not at all," Natalia answered quickly and confidently. "I want you. Lord knows I WANT you, but not at the risk of moving too quickly. Besides, wouldn't you rather…warm up…to the idea of you and me? I was making you rather warm before, wasn't I?" There was no denying the alluring tone in her voice and Olivia simply closed her eyes in response. "Now, where were we?" she asked.

Olivia turned in her chair slightly and opened her eyes again. She grinned only for a moment and then nuzzled her nose between Natalia's earlobe and her hair.

"You were going to tell me how I made you climax, remember?" Olivia whispered.

Natalia groaned and balled the end of Olivia's jacket into a tight fist.

"Right," she replied. "Your hands," Natalia said, "…it was your hands that I remember the most."

"What did they do?" Olivia asked.

"Everything," Natalia answered sensuously.

"Like what?" Olivia asked. "Show me," she added in a come-hither tone.

"Oh, Goodness," Natalia uttered in an inflamed tone. "If I did that then we definitely would be kicked out of here for life."

Both women chuckled slightly. "Tonight I'd take that chance," Olivia replied. She then slowly slid the tablecloth toward Natalia's stomach. Soon after Olivia's fingers began to slide up Natalia's leg and under the skirt she was wearing.

Her fingers were nearly at the apex when Natalia reached down and snared Olivia's wrist.

"That's far enough, Sailor," she teased. "Down girl."

"I'll go down," Olivia breathed in her ear. "I'll do lots of things – just tell me." Natalia loosened her hold on Olivia's hand and that's all the invitation she needed. Olivia's fingers reached the silk material there, finding it beyond slick. It was positively soaked.

Natalia whimpered. "I want you Olivia, but please, not like this. Not here."

Olivia's hand retreated slightly, but it didn't leave Natalia's thigh. "Don't worry, Sweetie. I won't if you don't want. I just had to see if you're as drenched as I am right now."

"You got your answer," Natalia replied.

"I sure did, but don't worry. I won't take you in a semi-crowded restaurant…at least not yet," she added and wiggled her eyebrows. Natalia released a gently sigh at the remark and rested her head on Olivia's shoulder. "But you do need to tell me about the dream. Deal?"

Natalia grinned. "Okay…The dream…Well, we were at the dress shop…"

 **Chapter Twenty-Eight**  
  
"Standing there, looking in the mirror, I couldn't take my eyes off of you, remember?" Natalia asked.  
  
Olivia settled in even closer, putting her arm around the back of Natalia's chair as she nodded. "Go on…"  
  
"Well…" Natalia said as she began to remember the dream.  
  
\-----------  
  
 _The shop was filled with both natural and artificial light. Everywhere she looked Natalia saw wedding dresses - the icons associated with everlasting love, unity and devotion. And nearly all of them were white, of course - the color of purity. It felt like a cruel joke. As she looked at Olivia staring at her in the reflection she knew her thoughts were anything but pure. The desire, the lust, the longing she felt…it was everything her family and church warned her about. It would take her down a wicked path; someplace beyond redemption. But if it was so evil then why did it feel so fulfilling, so…right?_  
  
 _"C-can I ask you something?" Natalia began._  
  
 _Olivia cleared her throat. "You can ask me anything."_  
  
 _"At the engagement party… you were giving a toast, remember?" Natalia seemed to struggle with each word although she continued to focus on Olivia's reflection in the mirror behind her._  
  
 _"I remember," she replied._  
  
 _"If my glass hadn't slipped – no, if I hadn't stopped you by dropping my glass…" Natalia confessed. "…would you have said it?"_  
  
 _"Said what?" Olivia asked knowingly._  
  
 _Natalia reached over and took Olivia's hand that was resting on her arm, intertwining their fingers together._  
  
 _"You know what," Natalia answered. "That you loved me."_  
  
 _Olivia took a deep breath. "You love Frank," she reminded her._  
  
 _Natalia tightened her hold on Olivia's hand and muttered softly, "Matthew Chapter Five says: 'You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even LOOKS at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart'…"_  
  
 _"And?" Olivia prompted when Natalia trailed off._  
  
 _"I love Frank. I do," she began, "but I don't desire him….and the thoughts I have about you…the way we look at each other, like right now…it is with lust, isn't it?"_  
  
 _"Natalia," Olivia said drawing her name out._  
  
 _"It is…and you feel it too…don't you?" Olivia didn't answer. The older woman was paralyzed. Whether it was from fear or desire, Natalia couldn't tell. Either way, Olivia's face was an unreadable mask. "Please say something," Natalia begged. Still, Olivia said and did nothing and a worried expression began to form on Natalia's face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said anything. It's obvious you don't desire me…and I totally misread-."_  
  
 _Olivia turned Natalia around putting her hands on her waist. The younger woman tried to hide her face, but Olivia took a firm hold of her chin with one hand so their eyes meet._  
  
 _"Stop. Just stop," Olivia said compassionately._  
  
 _The kiss she planted on Natalia's lips was long and lingering. It wasn't searching in the slightest – it was more like dipping a toe into a pool to test the water, rather than a nosedive. Yet, at the same time, it still stole both of their breaths and left them both quivering._  
  
 _"You have to marry Frank," Olivia repeated as she rested her forehead on Natalia's. "It's not about what I want or what you want. I won't make an adulterer out of you."_  
  
 _She began to pull away, but Natalia refused to let Olivia go._  
  
 _"That's my point," she insisted. "I already am an adulterer. It doesn't matter what I do because I'm just as guilty because of what's in my heart and I'd rather be with you. I could marry Frank, sure, but I'd spend the rest of my life wondering 'what it' and wanting you – totally; completely and in every way."_  
  
 _"Oh yeah," Olivia replied skeptically; defiantly. She grabbed Natalia's smock and pulled the woman closer to her – totally capturing her so she couldn't escape.. Their bodies shook at the impact and Natalia let out a small yelp._  
  
 _"See? Even that scares you," Olivia pointed out upon hearing the noise._  
  
 _Natalia's hands suddenly grabbed Olivia's thigh and back, pulling her closer still._  
  
 _"It's not fear you're seeing or hearing," Natalia said testing Olivia's bravery._  
  
 _Olivia leered at Natalia, and muttered, "You do look beautiful in this dress."_  
  
 _"Think of how I'd look out of it," Natalia challenged._  
  
 _Olivia groaned and her lips descended on Natalia. This time instead of a chaste kiss of exploration she let her passion explode, devouring the woman. She worked her fingers through Natalia's hair and pulled the young woman's head back, exposing her neck.  
_ \-----------  
  
"Then what happened?" Olivia asked as she sat next to Natalia, stroking the younger woman's knee at the restaurant.  
  
"You started to quote scripture – Romans actually," Natalia replied deadpanned.  
  
Olivia couldn't help, but giggle. "Imaginary Olivia is quite the bible beater then?"  
  
Natalia smiled and nodded.

  
\-----------  
  
  
 _Olivia's tongue and teeth nipped at the bare flesh._  
  
 _"Let love be without hypocrisy," she told Natalia in a rasping voice against her neck. "Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good - Romans 12:9." Upon uttering the word 'cling' Olivia unzipped the back of the dress and her hands began to caress Natalia's unclothed back. "Is this what you want? Is it?"_  
  
 _"No," Natalia growled. "I want more." She pushed Olivia back down into the chair behind her. The older woman landed with a slight thud and the look of surprise. She looked up to see Natalia pushing the dress completely off of her body. Olivia watched wide-eyed at the woman before her clad only in her white lace underwear._  
  
 _"Jesus, Joseph, Mary and all the saints," Olivia mumbled. "You're gorgeous."_  
  
 _Natalia smiled. "So you do want me – I knew it," she teased._  
  
 _Still wearing her shocked expression, Olivia watched Natalia straddled her legs and took her hands in hers, placing them on her hips.  
  
_ \-----------  
  
  
"So you straddled me?" Olivia asked. "Right there in the dress shop?"  
  
"Yeah," Natalia sighed and closed her eyes remembering.  
  
"You didn't bother to take me into the dressing room?"  
  
Natalia slowly opened her eyes again and focused on Olivia.  
  
"I had to have you; right then and there. It was that look in your eyes that did me in… kinda like what I'm seeing now," she added with a slight giggle. Olivia turned away slightly embarrassed for a moment, but Natalia turned her back to face her. "Anyway, it was only a dream, but I swear I could feel your fingers under mine, your hands on my hips…You ran one of your hands across my stomach and then moved up between my breasts." Olivia licked her lips and Natalia smirked, satisfied with the effect she was having on the older woman. "Then it happened."  
  
"You climaxed?" Olivia asked in anticipation.  
  
"Slow down Tiger," Natalia retorted. "You think I'm THAT easy? Heck, no! You're dealing with thirty plus years of embedded Catholic teaching, remember?"  
  
Olivia grinned. "Okay, so what DID happen?"  
  
Natalia grinned seductively. "This…"  
  
She took Olivia's hand as she titled her head back and led the woman's hand up her throat and over her chin. Then she took the hotelier's thumb into her mouth and began to gently suck on it. She let her tongue play with the very tip in a rapid motion.  
  
"Uhhhh," Olivia grunted through clinched teeth and reluctantly she pulled away. "So, uh, what, uh, happened next?" Olivia asked as she moved her hand to cup the side of Natalia's face.  
  
\-----------  
  
  
 _At the dress shop, Olivia took back possession of her hand and began to kiss Natalia with wild fervor. Natalia's hands worked their way into Olivia's hair, pulling her closer and leading her to every area she needed kissed. Olivia happily obliged her and followed the path Natalia was creating – the Latina's earlobe, neck, cheeks, lips…When Natalia shifted to get a better position she ending up rising slightly in the process._  
  
 _Not wasting the opportunity of Natalia's cleavage before her, Olivia captured the erect nipple bouncing in her face. One hand left Natalia's hip and she cradled the breast in her hand as she devoured the flesh before her. Natalia tightened her hold on Olivia's hair as they both moaned in pleasure. A few moments later, Olivia reached over with her other hand and brought both breast together, putting both of them in her mouth._  
  
 _"Yessss," Natalia hissed into the top of Olivia's head as the woman continued to worship her breasts with abandon. Olivia had to grin when she felt Natalia began to rock her hips in response. Feeling the smile before every seeing it Natalia looked down and asked, "What?"_  
  
 _Olivia sucked briefly on Natalia's nipple and said, "This isn't nearly enough is it?"_  
  
 _"Are you kidding?" Natalia replied. "I love it."_  
  
 _Olivia's hand reached between Natalia's legs and stroked the folds just briefly. Natalia's breath caught and she omitted a deep sigh of desire. Olivia again, made only one pass across Natalia's sex with her fingers and once more she got the same response._  
  
 _"You love this more, don't you?" Olivia asked._  
  
 _All thought of attempting to speak escaped Natalia. All she could do was nod fervently. It was all the invitation Olivia needed. Her hand began to stroke Natalia in rhythm – they weren't firm strokes in the slightest and were more teasing than anything. As a result Natalia put her hands on Olivia's shoulders for support and began to ardently move her hips in time with Olivia's hand._  
  
 _"Yeah," Olivia coaxed, her shoulder rising and falling with each synchronized stroke. "That's it, Sweetie. Grind those hips into me," she muttered, before she reached up, snaring Natalia's nipple again with her lips as her fingers worked magic from below.  
  
_ \-----------  
  
  
Back at the table at Towers, Olivia held up a finger and took a drink of her water. Her hand was shaking so bad though that Natalia had to help her steady the glass.  
  
"Okay?" Natalia asked as Olivia put the glass back down. "Should I continue or stop here?"  
  
"Don't you dare stop," Olivia threatened.  
  
Natalia smiled. "Funny – that was my response in my dream."  
  
\-----------  
  
  
 _"Had enough?" Olivia asked as she continued to rub her fingers through the slickness she'd created within Natalia._  
  
 _Natalia first let out a series of grunts and when Olivia acted like she was going to take her hand away Natalia grabbed her wrist, keeping it steady. From that point, Natalia did all the work. She held Olivia's hand in place as she slid her sex across it, moving faster and faster. Olivia grinned when she saw Natalia looking passionate, but also…frustrated._  
  
 _"You want more, don't you?" Olivia told her with a smile. "But you're not sure what you need, huh?" Natalia nodded a bit shyly. "Oh no," Olivia warned. "You're not getting self-conscious on me now. You just want to get fucked, Honey. That's what you want and that's okay. In fact, that's wonderful." Natalia nodded enthusiastically. "Then say it," Olivia told her. "I want you to say it," The younger woman didn't slow her movement, but she seemed reluctant to voice the words, at least until Olivia softly swore, "God, you're so fucking hot, Natalia."_  
  
 _"Inside me," Natalia said softly._  
  
 _"Louder," Olivia ordered. "Say it, please."_  
  
 _"I want you inside me now," Natalia ordered._  
  
 _Olivia took her hand away, making Natalia whimper at the loss of contact. It didn't last long though._  
  
 _"Stand up," Olivia ordered._  
  
 _Natalia moved to her feet as best as her legs could hold her, but she didn't have to stay upright for long. Olivia swiftly pulled off the soaked panties and led Natalia to the floor. She gently placed her across her crumpled wedding dress that lay there. The older woman looked at Natalia's dark hair, wild and strewn across the whiteness of the dress. Natalia then reached up a hand to Olivia who was now kneeling over her._  
  
 _"Take me," Natalia coaxed as she grabbed Olivia by the jacket, pulling her closer._  
  
 _Olivia didn't say a single word. Her clothed legs slipped between Natalia's naked thighs, making both women groan. Not wasting a moment, Olivia slipped two fingers easily inside Natalia and began to pump the young woman. She watched Natalia's pelvis thrust with each motion she made and she felt herself start to perspire. Her clothes felt cumbersome and she reluctantly reached to take off the jacket._  
  
 _"No," Natalia said, "Please. Leave it on. You look so hot; controlling; powerful. Leave it."_  
  
 _"It's just that it's getting pretty warm in here," Olivia remarked._  
  
 _"Good. I wanna make you sweat. I wanna feel you dripping on me; the slick skin; the…oh please, Olivia. Please."_  
  
 _Olivia grinned in knowing she could never refuse Natalia of anything she asked. She could delay it. She could try to ignore it. But whatever Natalia wanted she'd get it in the end and this was no different. And if right now she wanted her inside of her…_  
  
 _Olivia began to grind her hips against Natalia, the fabric of the pants rubbing against Natalia's clit. For her part, the Latina reached down and grabbed Olivia's derriere, pulling her even closer._  
  
 _"God, Natalia," Olivia muttered, "Can you feel it? Can you feel it?"_  
  
 _Her eyes went wide. "Yes," she replied. "I-I-I…"  
  
_ \-----------  
  
  
Back at the restaurant, Natalia was raising her water glass to her lips.  
  
Olivia mimicked Natalia by saying, "I-I-I-…" and then she asked in an impatient whisperer, "You what? Go on."  
  
"That's just it. I couldn't say anything and… it happened. That's when I came. I didn't know what was happening," Natalia confessed. "I just felt this building and building and building and…then this wave of pure pleasure washed over me. I woke up immediately and found my hands between my legs. I could still feel the walls inside me still clinching and releasing. And that's when I realized…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why sex is such a big deal," Natalia said with a slight chuckle. "My goodness, sex could be fantastic. So imagine my absolute horror months later when you show up at my doorstep telling me that we'd never have to have sex?"  
  
Olivia smiled and ran her fingers through her own hair. "I didn't want to scare you away."  
  
"Well you almost did because I want that – I want that feeling for real…" She got a serious but loving look on her delicate features, "I want that feeling with you."  
  
Olivia gave her a genuine smile. Although she lusted after her for sure, the smile contained all the joy and love Olivia still had for Natalia.  
  
"That's why, no matter how much I want you tonight," Natalia continued, "…my first time with you…It needs to be right Olivia…or 'good' as you've said. At this point…As much as I do desire you, I'm not sure we're there yet – and I know, that's my fault. But I'm trying to show you how much I want you…on every level."  
  
Olivia cleared her throat and she took Natalia's face in her hands. She kissed her gently, but soundly on the lips and was pleased when Natalia didn't resist in the slightest.  
  
"We'll get there," she said affectionately.

 **Chapter Twenty-Nine**  
  
"Sorry I'm late," Doris said as she made her way to the table where Olivia was seated. "The damn water department. You know water should not be a complicated issue. You make it clean – case closed. So again, I apologize."  
  
"That's fine," Olivia replied. "I'm the boss so I can come and go as I please. Have a seat."  
  
"So," Doris said as she settled in taking the menu. "Why am I here and what do you need?"  
  
"I can't just have lunch with a friend?" Olivia asked. Before she had a chance to add anything more, Blake walked up.  
  
"Can I get you a drink, Doris?"  
  
"Yeah, a shot of J.D. and a cola. It's been a long day already and it's not over yet."  
  
"We don't have any alcohol here," Blake replied.  
  
"Liar," she said with a playful smile.  
  
"No, we really don't."  
  
Doris held up a finger and got up. She walked around to the bar and went to Buzz's cupboard and pulled out a shot glass and the whisky bottle. She filled up the glass and put the items away before walking back to her table.  
  
As she sat down Blake asked, "How did you-?"  
  
"A cola please," Doris replied with a grin. "And don't worry. I have absolutely no intention of paying for this shot, so you're not violating any liquor laws."  
  
"That's not yours," Blake replied.  
  
Doris looked at Blake, the shot, Blake again and then picked up the shot. She raised it first in a toasting fashion to Blake and then downed it in one gulp. She handed the empty shot glass back to Blake and patted her hand once she had a grip on it.  
  
"Now be a dear and fill that up again when you bring my cola. Thanks." She then turned to Olivia, totally disregarding Blake. "Anyway, you never answered me. What's up?" Dumbstruck at Doris's moxie behavior, Blake grinned as she walked away with the empty glass. Olivia tried not to laugh. "What?" Doris asked.  
  
"Nothing," Olivia snickered. "I, uh, I asked you here today because I promised my girlfriend I would."  
  
"Girlfriend, huh?" Doris teased. "So she finally won you over?"  
  
Olivia considered the comment. "Let's just say I'm at the 'forgive' phase, but not the 'forget' part yet."  
  
"You might never forget what she did," Doris replied. "Can you live with that?"  
  
"It's far better than living without her," Olivia replied, "but I'm not here to talk about me."  
  
"Okay, again, why ARE we here?"  
  
Olivia tried to find a starting place. "Hmm…okay, I'm supposed to be super sneaky here and not come right out and ask, but skip it. Bottom line – what do you think of Blake Marler?"  
  
"I think she'd make a lousy bartender. I still don't have my drink," she replied.  
  
Olivia sighed exasperated. "Don't make this harder on me than it needs to be."  
  
"Make what harder? What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Do you think Blake's cute?"  
  
Doris paused a beat. "Do I think she's CUTE? Why does it suddenly feel like I'm in the eighth-grade?"  
  
"Yes or no?"  
  
Doris looked at Blake putting some drinks on a serving tray.  
  
"Well," Doris began as she gave the woman an appraising eye, "I wouldn't call her 'cute.' She's attractive, certainly…Nice legs….Plus, she's got that strawberry-blonde workin' for her. Why are you asking me? I thought you said you and Natalia were working things out?"  
  
"I'm not asking for me!" Olivia spat in a harsh whisper. "I'm asking for you, ya goofball! She told Natalia she feels a 'vibe' with you and thought you might be interested."  
  
"Hell, I flirt with just about every attractive woman I see. But dating the town gossip? Ha! Hello! I'm trying to stay IN the closet," Doris replied.  
  
A few moments later, Blake arrived at the table and put down another shot of whisky and cola with a shy smile.  
  
"A woman after my own heart," Doris complimented. "Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome," Blake said as a rosiness came to her cheeks. "Do you know what you want for lunch?"  
  
Doris maintained eye contact and pushed her hair over her shoulder. "What's on special?" she asked.  
  
Self-consciously Blake began to play with her order pad, unable to continue looking at Doris for the moment. She was surprised to see Doris was still studying her when she raised her eyes again.  
  
"Egg salad or turkey with cheddar. Both come with soup – chicken noodle or cream of mushroom," she replied.  
  
Doris gave a short nod. "Let's go turkey and mushroom."  
  
"You got it," Blake said before turning to Olivia.  
  
"I'll just go with the chicken noodle. I'm not super hungry today."  
  
Blake reached over and took the menus, saying, "Thanks ladies."  
  
As she walked away to place the order, Olivia turned back to Doris.  
  
"What do you say? We could all go out."  
  
"You mean like a double date?"  
  
"Yeah," Olivia replied hopefully.  
  
Doris poured her shot into her cola and began to stir it with her straw. "No because lesbians don't double date, okay? We date. We have potlucks. But there's absolutely no double dating allowed. It's a rule."  
  
"Oh really?"  
  
"Absolutely," Doris tried to say seriously and started to grin.  
  
"Oh yeah, well, be a rebel," Olivia said, becoming animated waving her hands. "Throw caution to the wind. You said you never take any risks so take one now – come on a double date and risk that lesbian street cred of yours."  
  
Doris giggled and shook her head. "I'm not sure who's crazier – you for suggesting this or me for actually considering it."  
  
"I'm not really into women, but Blake's a looker, right?"  
  
Doris just stared at Olivia for a moment. "You're the worst lesbian in the world. You know that, right?"  
  
"I'm not a lesbian. Why does everyone think that?"  
  
Doris chuckled. "Oh, I don't know," she sarcastically. "Maybe because you're living with a woman, raising your kids together and maybe, if you're lucky enough, having sex everyday. Olivia, sweetie, honey, dear…that makes you gay."  
  
"But women in general don't turn me on. I'm not even sure I can be called bi, except when it comes to Natalia, who, speaking of which, is driving me crazy. And yes, like you said, I'd love to have sex every night. Hell, even once before I die would be great at this point. Just last night I missed my linguini dinner because she had to tell me about her sexy 'Olivia' dreams."  
  
"So you're in her wet dreams, huh?" Doris teased.  
  
"Yeah, but I'd rather be in her bed," Olivia replied.  
  
"Says the straight woman, right?" Doris mocked. Olivia simply groaned. "Okay hetro-gal," Doris provoked, making Olivia roll her eyes, "… does this mean you're okay with everything that happened? Her leaving; not saying where she was going; so on and so forth?"  
  
Olivia rolled her shoulders. "I didn't say that. I just said I want to be in her bed."  
  
Doris laughed and Olivia had to smile too.  
  
"She says I'm not ready," Olivia continued. "She turns me on completely and says I'm not ready. I'm ready already, really. I am. I'm beyond ready. I'm raring to go."  
  
Both women began to chuckle and Doris said, "You means she's a C.T.?"  
  
"A what?"  
  
"Clit tease – a C.T.," Doris replied.  
  
Olivia giggled like a schoolgirl. "That's funny, but no. I think she's just as 'tormented' as I am about it all. Actually, I know she is because I made her give me her soaked underwear. I mean how sad is that?"  
  
The mayor carefully considered what she just heard.  
  
"That sounds kinda hot actually," Doris replied. "You made her give you her underwear, really?"  
  
Olivia got a far off look in her eye for a moment as she remembered the night before.  
  
~~~  
  
 _Each woman had a bag in her hand with their take-out food as they walked to Natalia's car._  
  
 _"Thank you for dinner," Natalia told her. "Next time, it'll be my treat."_  
  
 _"Don't worry about it." Olivia smiled._  
  
 _Natalia took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Soooo…"_  
  
 _She held her hand out awkwardly for Olivia to shake. Olivia smiled and looked at the offered appendage. She took Natalia's bag from her and place both of their food containers on the ground at their feet. Rather than shaking Natalia's hand, Olivia placed Natalia's hand on her hip and Natalia took the cue, pulling Olivia closer._  
  
 _"Is this how I first kissed you in your dream?" Olivia asked as she closed the distance between them._  
  
 _Olivia captured Natalia's face with both hands. She ran her fingers behind Natalia's ears, playing with her hair for a moment before her thumbs began to caress Natalia's cheekbones._  
  
 _Natalia's eyes fluttered closed and she sighed in contentment and arousal. When she didn't feel Olivia descend toward her that's when she opened her eyes again. She met Olivia's expression of pure love and worship and she began to grin._  
  
 _"I love you too," Natalia said although Olivia hadn't spoken a word._  
  
 _The affectionate comment made Olivia smile and she closed the distance between them. Both women could feel their hearts threatening to beat out of their chests as their lips tentatively touched. Although it wasn't the first time they'd ever kissed it was probably the most important kiss of their lives together…at least so far._  
  
 _It was gentle, sweet but totally electric with neither woman ever feeling a jolt like it before. Olivia pulled back only a few fractions of an inch and quickly returned. Her lips snared Natalia's bottom lip. Natalia, for her part, kissed Olivia's top lip and allowed her tongue to gently swipe at the cleft area between Olivia's nose and lips._  
  
 _The gesture was Olivia's undoing and she found herself pulling Natalia's face closer as her tongue began to explore the inside of Natalia's mouth. She found no resistance. In fact, Natalia met her stroke for stroke and when Natalia began to suck on Olivia's tongue the older woman's legs physically began to buckle._  
  
 _Both of them began to giggle and pulled away._  
  
 _"See what you do?" Olivia told her. "You bring me to my knees," she said in an exaggerated gesture as she went to the ground._  
  
 _Natalia laughed and looked around nervously to see if anyone else could see them in the parking lot. Olivia looked up at Natalia mischievously. She began to run her hands up the back of Natalia's legs and under her skirt._  
  
 _"Olivia," Natalia said sounding concerned and curious about what the hotelier was going to do._  
  
 _Olivia cupped Natalia's back side and said, "I want these," as she began to pull the underwear off her hips._  
  
 _Olivia slid the garment down Natalia's legs and once they were at her ankles Natalia balanced herself on Olivia's shoulders as she stepped out of them. Once the underwear was firmly in her possession, Olivia brought the panties up to her face and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent. The moan Olivia exuded made Natalia whimper._  
  
 _"Do you mind if I keep these?" Olivia asked as she held them in front of Natalia._  
  
 _"Not at all," Natalia croaked, her own desire at what she just witnessed evident in her voice._  
  
 _Olivia smiled confidently as she moved to her feet. "Two can play this arousal game after all."_  
  
 _She then reached down and grabbed one the doggie bags. She slid Natalia to the side and opened her car door from her. Escorting her to the driver's seat, Olivia handed the bag over to Natalia._  
  
 _"Call me tonight?" Olivia asked. "Let me know you made it home okay?"_  
  
 _Natalia could only nod at first, but then she broke from her hypnotic state._  
  
 _"Hope you, uh, enjoy those," she said nodding her head toward Olivia's pocket that held her underwear._  
  
 _"Don't worry. Someday, I'll tell you all about it. Goodnight."_  
  
 _And with that she closed Natalia's car door._  
  
~~~~  
  
It was Doris's voice that shook her from the memory. "Earth to Olivia?"  
  
"Sorry, what did you say?" she asked sounding a tad startled.  
  
"I asked if you really asked for her underwear?"  
  
"More like I took them. I mean I couldn't help it. I knew that they'd…smell like her and according to Blake sometimes you gotta take matters into your own hands so it made a nice…motivator…for when I was home…all by myself…in that big bed…totally alone." Olivia let out an exasperated sigh.  
  
Doris giggled and asked, "And Natalia had no issue with this?"  
  
Olivia began to grin wickedly. "By the way her voice cracked, I'm guessing she thought it was pretty hot like you did."  
  
"Damn, Spencer," Doris guffawed. "I gotta try that move sometime."  
  
Blake returned and began to serve the food and Doris winked at Olivia and nodded her head slightly toward Blake in a 'watch this' kind of fashion.  
  
"So what are you doing tonight around seven?" Doris asked Blake.  
  
Blake instantly turned red, but tried to play things casually by saying, "Ehh, nothing that I know of. Why?"  
  
"Well, Olivia gave me the impression that you wanted to get together. She thinks the four of us should go out." She turned to Olivia. "Does seven work for you and Natalia?"  
  
"Yeah," Olivia then turned to the waitress. "What about you, Blake? Seven?"  
  
"Seven's good," she replied. "If you like Italian food there's Dominic's on Main?"  
  
"Dominic's at seven. We'll see you then," Doris replied.  
  
Blake walked away with a large grin and Doris found herself smiling too. She turned to Olivia. Still smiling she said, "If this turns out to be a disaster I'm never forgiving your girlfriend, ever."  
  
Olivia smiled too.  
  
"Take it from me personally… You can try, but it's hard to STAY mad at Natalia."

 **Chapter Thirty**  
  
Dominic’s Restaurant wasn’t crowded since it was the middle of the week during a sluggish economy. There were only two other couples at two different tables having a meal. All told that fact might not have been a terrible thing as voices and tempers began to rise at one table in particular.  
  
Doris and Olivia sat on one side while Blake and Natalia sat respectively across from them on the other.  
  
"If you outlaw guns only outlaws will have guns," Doris said firmly to Blake, she then pointed to Olivia. "She’s got a 9 millimeter Glock." She paused and looked over to Olivia appearing impressed. "It’s really beautiful actually."  
  
"Thanks," Olivia said a bit unsure if she wanted to even come near this debate.  
  
"Who said anything about banning all guns," Blake replied, ignoring Olivia’s part in the conversation and focusing on Doris. "I’m talking about things like… I don’t know, a AR-15 with a 50 round magazine."  
  
Natalia reached over and held an appetizer in her hand, putting it between Doris and Blake. "Cheese stick?" she asked nervously, hoping to break the growing tension.  
  
"No thank you," Doris said shortly, but politely. Her face slipped back into debate mode as she faced Blake again. "For the record, the AR-15 has a 10 round magazine," she corrected. "But your point being?"  
  
"A weapon like that isn’t used to hunt deer, okay? Let’s be honest. It’s designed to kill people."  
  
"And target practice," Doris said. "Some people just like the thrill of shooting, right?" She turned back to Olivia.  
  
Olivia looked at Natalia with an expression that showed she really didn’t want to enter the debate whatsoever.  
  
"Yeah," she replied trying to sound neutral.  
  
"And I bet you’ve even taken Natalia shooting," Doris prodded.  
  
"No, actually. She won’t go."  
  
"Smart girl," Blake added.  
  
"Now what a second, Blake," Olivia said starting to get irritated. "I think everyone should know how to handle a gun because you never know when you might be forced to use one - you especially since you work at Company. A mugger comes in waving a gun and it drops you should be able to pick it up and fire it, if needed."  
  
"Thank you," Doris said motioning to Olivia. "Finally, the voice of reason."  
  
"That makes no sense," Natalia said jump in, coming to Blake’s defense. "If Blake doesn’t want to play with guns she shouldn’t have to."  
  
Olivia asked, "Play with guns?" while at the same time Doris said, "No one’s talking about ‘playing’ at all." Both women sounded aggravated.  
  
"You know what," Olivia said to Natalia. "I’ll come over this week with the Glock and we can do some target practice out at the farm. Wouldn’t be a bad idea for Rafe to come over too. That way you can see that it’s not ‘playing,’ okay?"  
  
"Not okay. I don’t like guns," Natalia answered. "I hated the fact you had it at the house before."  
  
"Question," Doris began. "Let’s say someone breaks into the farmhouse and they’re going to hurt you or Olivia or even Emma. The only thing between you and the attacker is Olivia’s Glock. What do you do?"  
  
"That’s ridiculous," Natalia answered.  
  
Olivia folded her arms across her chest. "I’d like to know the answer. Because I sure know what the hell I would do. I wouldn’t think twice about it either."  
  
"You were ready to shoot Phillip earlier this year," Natalia offered, "…which proves Blake’s point that guns can be dangerous. Heck, if I wasn’t there to talk you down you might have actually done it."  
  
The waiter arrived and could feeling the tension at the table. He gingerly asked, "Did you ladies need a few more minutes?"  
  
"Yes, please," Olivia told him. He seemed thankful for the reprieve and he quickly scurried away. Olivia turned back to Natalia. "No arguments. I’m teaching you how to shoot this weekend."  
  
"And I don’t get a say in whether or-?"  
  
"No," Olivia said cutting her off. "I don’t care if you ever pick up a gun again. I just want to make sure you know how to use mine. Lord knows – and no, I’m not being blasphemous when I say that – Lord knows I never want you to have to use it. However, I would feel better knowing you’ve fired it at least once before. So please, for my peace of mind, let me show you this weekend."  
  
Natalia grinned slightly. "So..." she said changing the subject. "What’s everyone going to have?"  
  
"That’s it?" Blake asked her. "She ‘lays down the law’ and you ‘fall in line’?"  
  
Natalia shrugged. "She said please." Blake rolled her eyes and Natalia chuckled and then looked solemn. "Seriously, I can tell that this is important to Olivia and it’s not about winning an argument. She thinks this will make her feel better so…yeah, I’ll do it for her."  
  
"It must be love," Blake remarked.  
  
"Or being whipped," Doris muttered, which made Blake smile. "So, what’s good?" Doris asked Olivia.  
  
"The lasagna, but it’s not as good as Natalia’s," she complimented with a smile, which brought out Natalia’s dimples.  
  
"Whipped," Doris mouthed to Blake and then pointed at Olivia.  
  
Blake giggled and Olivia looked over at the pair. "What?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing," Doris lied. "I think I’ll go with the lasagna."

 **Chapter Thirty-One**  
  
Having managed their way through dinner, the foursome now stood at the small bar at Dominic's Restaurant.  
  
"Whose idea was this again?" Olivia whispered to Natalia fully aware she knew it was her girlfriend. They watched Doris and Blake wagging their fingers into each other's face at the other end a few feet away.  
  
Natalia gently slapped Olivia's arm. "Hey," she began. "…Blake asked me, alright? I just offered to help." They both watched as Doris threw her hands up in the air and rolled her eyes. "This isn't going well, is it?" Natalia asked.  
  
"No," Olivia sighed. "No, it is not," she added very matter-of-factly. "Okay, we need to jump in here before someone gets arrested...or worse."  
  
"Come on," Natalia said as she motioned her head. "Maybe if we leave they'll walk away."  
  
As they closed the distance, they could hear the debate.  
  
"Freedom isn't free," Doris told Blake. "The war was inevitable."  
  
Blake looked shocked and then paused a beat before she asked in a incredulous tone, "A-are you kidding me?" She then looked around them to see no one else standing at the bar. Then she motioned around them. "You don't need to tow the party line here Doris, okay? You can tell us what you really think rather than spouting political rhetoric."  
  
"Why is to so hard for you to believe I'm a republican?"  
  
Blake opened her mouth, but no words came out. All she could do was gesture to Doris with her hands. "You…" was all she could say at first.  
  
Doris looked over at Olivia. "Looks like I made another woman speechless." She then turned back to Blake. "I know it's hard for democrats like yourself to have an opinion and stick to it, but try to form a coherent thought here, okay?"  
  
Blake's eyes narrowed. "Do you even have a soul?" she asked.  
  
"Oh, wow. Okay," Olivia said putting her hand on Blake's shoulder.  
  
Blake simply shrugged her off and continued to face Doris. "I can't believe you actually have faith in a party that was given a surplus of $230 billion but then, not only pissed it away, but left us with trillions of dollars in debt because of a war of convenience and not necessity. So again, I'll ask…are you serious?"  
  
"That's a myth you know," Doris said. "The deficit was almost eliminated in 2000, but it never reached zero--let alone a positive surplus number. In fact, the growing deficits started in the year of the last Clinton budget and not in the first year of the Bush administration."  
  
"That's a lie," Blake replied.  
  
"That's the truth," Doris countered. "Do some research and you'll see what I mean. Or just sit back and listen to the democratic mouthpieces like Olbermann and Maddow fill your head with nonsense."  
  
The cola can that Blake held in her hand began to bend and the liquid fizzled from the top slightly.  
  
"Here, uh, lemme take that from ya," Olivia offered as she tried to pull it from Blake's vice-like grip. She grunted slightly when she managed to get it away from her.  
  
After she rested it on the bar Natalia and Olivia both looked at the can and then each other.  
  
"Oh boy," Natalia muttered softly.  
  
Blake's fists clinched at her side. "Your level of patronizing behavior and shoveling of bullshit is astounding," she told Doris.  
  
"If the media didn't have a liberal bias you'd already know what I'm saying is true," the mayor replied. "The only thing that you're guilty of is not informing yourself. And honestly, that's a shame."  
  
Blake began to wave her hands and turned to Olivia. "I-I can't deal with her anymore. You-you…" Blake took a calming breath. She pulled her purse from the bar and put the strap over her shoulder. "You ladies have a great night," she told them all and swiftly left the restaurant.  
  
"I am soooo sorry," Natalia said to no one in particular.  
  
"Why?" Doris asked. "I had fun." Olivia and Natalia both looked at her with a flabbergasted expression. "What? It's true. I haven't had a good debate like that in…forever. She was better than most. I have to give her that."  
  
"She hates you. You know that, right?" Olivia asked.  
  
Doris shrugged. "Eh, as long as she doesn't spit in my food or drinks at Company I'm good. I don't think she would though. Her opinions are infantile, but overall she's pretty mature."  
  
Olivia chuckled in despondency of the failed evening. "Ya know," she began. "There's a reason politics and religion are two topics friends should ever discuss, which is why I'm not going there, Doris. I'm just not."  
  
"Well," Natalia offered. "I think we better call it a night."  
  
"Excellent idea," Olivia replied. She then turned to Doris. "Sorry things didn't work out as planned."  
  
Doris raised her glass. "Here's to the effort," she added before taking a long drink.  
  
Moments later the pair arrive back at the Beacon. Natalia walked Olivia to her door, hand in hand.  
  
"Well, we certainly didn't make a love connection tonight, did we?" she teased.  
  
"The sparks were flying," Olivia replied. "Just not the kinds we expected. It's a shame actually because they look cute together. You know? Like a couple." Olivia made a round motion with her hands that silently spoke of togetherness.  
  
Natalia reached over and took Olivia's hands in hers. As they stood face to face she could feel the older woman tense up.  
  
"It's your sense of touch that matters most, isn't it?" Olivia didn't answer the rhetorical question. "I know because sometimes I take two steps forward; you take one step back." Natalia moved and Olivia followed suit, proving her point.  
  
"Natalia, I…"  
  
Natalia smiled. "But here's the great part about this _dance_ ," she said ignoring anything Olivia might have said. Her tongue lazily licked her top lip and she felt a small amount of pride when she realized how much of Olivia's attention she commanded. "Eventually, as long as I keep moving forward, I'll catch up. And when I do…" She took two more steps, but this time Olivia didn't move. "…when I finally get my hands and lips on you…" Olivia closed her eyes and her breathing became shallow as Natalia came mere inches away from her. "…it's going to be like a dam bursting. You won't escape the flood. And mark my words. You better bring your galoshes, Miss Spencer. You're gonna end up pretty wet."  
  
Natalia could hear Olivia's breath catch in the back of her throat and the Latina smiled.  
  
"Don't worry though," Natalia said and then took a step back. "You're not ready yet… I'll… coax you along…but I won't push."  
  
Helpless – unable to move or speak – Olivia watched as Natalia casually strolled to the elevator and pushed the button. She turned and watched Olivia leaning against the doorway of her suite, her hands clutching the molding for dear life. She gave the hotel owner a short wave and then slipped inside.  
  
"Sweet dreams," she said softly.  
  
Even as the doors were closing Natalia followed Doris's advice to the end, not losing eye contact at all. Once away from Natalia's stare, Olivia released the breath she'd been holding.  
  
"I'm-I'm-I'm not going to survive this," the older woman stuttered.  
  
Inside the elevator, Natalia slumped against one side and put her hand up to her face. She then began to fan herself by pulling her blouse away from her body in a quick and repeating fashion.  
  
"I'm not going to survive this," she muttered. "But it's working. It's working," she told herself. "Just a little bit longer. Hold out a little bit more. She'll…"  
  
The elevator came to a stop suddenly interrupting her thoughts and Natalia looked up to see she was on the third floor. She straightened up as the doors opened and a middle-aged couple boarded. The man pushed the close button and once more the elevator was on its way, until it reached the second floor and a family of four hopped on.  
  
 _Glad to see business is good_ , Natalia thought as she moved further back.  
  
After the elevator lift came to a stop again the doors opened and the family and middle-aged couple stepped off as Natalia looked in her purse for her keys. Finding them, she looked up and found Olivia gently pushing her back inside.  
  
Olivia sounded winded. "You know I've run up and down more stairs since you've come home than I have in my entire life?" she asked.  
  
Natalia grinned and looked like she was going to reply, but Olivia forced her back inside the elevator. Her eyes pinned Natalia from attempting any kind of retreat and she cut off any kind of response with a hungry kiss.  
  
Natalia returned it with just as much fervor; burying her fingers into Olivia's hair while her other hand reached down and found purchase against Olivia's hip, drawing her closer. But after a few short kisses and pecks, Natalia pulled back and said, "I said I won't push."  
  
"I didn't," Olivia replied in a hoarse voice. She reclaimed Natalia's lips again and took both of Natalia's hands in hers and trapped them against the elevator wall.  
  
The doors began to close.

 **Chapter Thirty-Two**  
  
Keeping her hands around Natalia's wrist, Olivia pressed the button for her floor. Then she pressed the weight of her body against Natalia's, making escape impossible. The younger woman tried to free her hands to no avail. Olivia was having none of that as she settled their thighs between each other, or at least as much as she could manage from this position due to Natalia's growing stomach.  
  
Olivia couldn't stop kissing Natalia, even if her life depended upon it, and when Natalia raised one leg to snake around her calf, pulling her even closer Olivia worried for a brief moment she might actually end up with a heart attack. The flutter she felt was unlike anything she'd experienced.  
  
"I want you…so much," the hotelier declared as she finally released Natalia and allowed her hands to wander elsewhere around the woman's curves and valleys.  
  
Natalia began panting. The feeling of Olivia's own hands, lips and teeth were overwhelming and it seemed like they were all everywhere at once. She felt lightheaded and she had to use one hand to support herself on the nearby squared molding of the elevator. The other hand was buried in Olivia's hair, egging her on.  
  
"Are you really… gonna take me… in the elevator?" Natalia asked. "Not that I'm complaining," she quickly added. "'cause...." Natalia seemed to lose her train of thought and gave up uttering, "Oh, God…Te quiero," before her lips captured Olivia's mouth.  
  
Olivia whimpered from behind Natalia's lips. She pulled back and trailed her tongue from Natalia's collarbone to her earlobe, stopping at particular areas to nip and suck the exposed flesh.  
  
"I'm gonna take you everywhere in this hotel," she huskily declared in a soft whisper against Natalia's ear.  
  
Natalia's guttural moan reached Olivia's ears and the hotelier found herself making a similar throaty noise in response. Natalia's hand released the molding and reached out, grabbing Olivia's center. This action elicited an even louder and more forceful growl from the older woman. Seconds later, Natalia heard the elevator bell ding and she pulled back, which made Olivia whine in response to the departure of her lips.  
  
"We're here," Natalia replied as she motioned her head slightly to the door.  
  
Olivia seemed almost annoyed by the interruption, but the promise of what lay before them improved her mood. Quickly, she took Natalia by the hand and led her from the elevator. She briskly walked to her door and swiped her pass card. Once the door started to open Olivia pulled Natalia inside and kicked it closed.  
  
In one sweep, Olivia pulled her shirt from her body and resumed her kissing of Natalia's neck. The Latina graciously complied by allowing her head to drop back, giving Olivia even greater access. While taking fists of long black hair in her hands, Olivia licked and sucked the flesh so graciously given to her as she kicked off her shoes at the same time.  
  
She worked Natalia toward the bed and the younger woman lost her balanced when the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed. Tumbling backward, Olivia steadied Natalia's descent as best as she could.  
  
"Are you okay?" Olivia asked concerned, given Natalia's condition.  
  
"Yeah." Natalia smiled. "Soft landing. Besides, I'm tougher than I look."  
  
Olivia smiled in response. "You look beautiful," she complimented.  
  
Natalia looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, I no longer have that 'Olympic volleyball player' body you were so fond of earlier this year."  
  
Olivia grinned blatantly. "Can I see?" she asked playfully as she took two steps closer.  
  
Olivia began to play with the hem of Natalia's shirt. Shyly, the pregnant woman nodded. Eagerly yet gently, Olivia reached out and pulled the material up and over Natalia's head. Once half naked Natalia felt totally exposed. Picking up on her awkwardness, Olivia used one hand to gently push Natalia's back against the bed. Then she leaned over her and used one hand to travel down Natalia's neck, between her bra-clad breasts and over her protruding belly.  
  
Natalia got a look of concern as she watched Olivia tear up. "Having second thoughts?" she asked.  
  
Olivia cleared her throat as she shook her head. "Do you mean it?"  
  
"Mean what?"  
  
"This child is mine." Olivia ran her hand over Natalia's stomach.  
  
Natalia began to smile.  
  
"This child wouldn't be here if not for you. The reason I conceived this child is because I was running from this," she said as she took Olivia's hand and lead it back to cup her face. She planted a tender kiss in Olivia's palm. "I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you - all those years I spent longing for Nikky was never as powerful as my desire for you." This time Natalia planted a kiss on the pulse point of Olivia's wrist. "I know for a fact that you ARE my heart's true, and only, desire. I know that for certain now. And I swear to you, and God, I'll spend the rest of my life proving it."  
  
Olivia reached out with a growing smile and caressed Natalia's cheek with the back of her fingertips. The look of adoration though began to shift to one of desire again. She reached down and took Natalia's hand in hers, leading them to the button and the fly of her jeans.  
  
"Show me," was all she said.  
  
Natalia smiled as she took possession of the denim in her hands. She unbuttoned the waistband and slowly lowered the zipper. She then tugged the material past Olivia's hips but before pushing it down Olivia's thighs Natalia stopped and used the garment to pull Olivia closer and kiss her exposed lower stomach, just above her silk panty line.  
  
Natalia inhaled deeply and groaned in arousal.  
  
"This is so new," she said as she looked up at Olivia.  
  
The older woman began to stroke Natalia's hair. "I know. I've never been with a woman either."  
  
"Not that," Natalia answered. "I've just…" Natalia took a deep breath again, but this time she pulled Olivia closer by grabbing her buttock and forcing her forward. "I've never wanted anyone this much – ever. You're so beautiful and you smell divine and…God, just the scent of you makes my mouth water."  
  
Olivia's breath caught at the admission. Of course the feeling of Natalia's fingertips kneading her ass didn't hamper how she was feeling either. Olivia pulled Natalia's head back toward her stomach again and the younger woman began planting delicate kisses there as she worked Olivia out of the jeans. She pushed Olivia back to stand out of them as she herself stood up and removed her pants and panties in one stroke.  
  
"Hey," Olivia complied in mock-anger. "I wanted to take those off."  
  
"Sorry," Natalia replied. "I just want to be naked with you," she said as she unfastened her bra next. Olivia's eyes widened in both surprise and desire. "I'm tired of waiting," Natalia told her. Now completely naked and exposed, she sat back down on the bed as she looked up at Olivia who was still half dressed. Although she was sure of the answer she'd get, she still asked, "Are you going to take me?"  
  
Olivia closed her eyes brief and groaned. When she opened them she could only push one word from her lips.  
  
"Yes."

 **Chapter Thirty-Three**  
  
Olivia placed her one knee between Natalia's legs at the edge of the mattress. Before she could even protest Natalia had the clasp of Olivia's bra off and the older woman's breasts freed in a matter of seconds. Not wasting a moment, Natalia did her best to take one breast in each hand bringing them both into her mouth with a moan of delight.  
  
Olivia's hands shot to Natalia's shoulder, trying to steady herself.  
  
"I'm supposed to be…taking you… remember?" Olivia struggled to say.  
  
Natalia released Olivia's breasts and looked up.  
  
"Let's take each other instead," she said mischievously and licked her lips for emphasis.  
  
Olivia grinned for just a brief moment before her lips collided with Natalia's. She worked her way down until she had Natalia's back to the bed. Taking a place at her side, Olivia continued to explore Natalia's mouth with her own, her lips nipping at the soft flesh repeatedly. After a few moments, Natalia let out a groan and stood up.  
  
Olivia looked startled and then concerned as Natalia stood at the side of the bed. She then watched as Natalia reached for Olivia's hips and pulled the panties completely off. She tossed them over her shoulder and then physically pulled Olivia's bottom to the end of the bed.  
  
Still laying on her back, confused, Olivia asked, "Natalia? Are you all-?"  
  
The question died on her lips when she watched Natalia swiftly move to her knees and felt the woman throw her legs over her shoulders. When Natalia's tongue made contact with her damp lips all coherent thought left Olivia in an instant. One hand gripped the bedspread while the other found it's way to the back of Natalia's head, praising her efforts.  
  
After a few laps, Natalia began to nibble Olivia's inner thigh. In between bites, she softly spoke.  
  
"You taste so sweet," she said as her tongue made a slow, long pass that went deeply between Olivia's lips and over her clit. The older woman could only whimper in response. "I want to devour you," Natalia declared in a husky voice. She then pulled Olivia's pearl into her mouth with a light sucking motion.  
  
"Oh, God," Olivia cried out.  
  
After a few moments and a couple of grunts from Olivia, Natalia asked, "Guess I'm doing things right?"  
  
Olivia could only nod enthusiastically, which made Natalia smile even broader.  
  
"How about this?" the Latina asked before moving on to her next tactic. Using just the tip of her tongue she began to bat at Olivia's clit as fast as she could. After a few moments she sucked the bundle of nervous between her lips again, giving a few light, gentle tugs.  
  
Again, at first all Olivia could do was nod when Natalia glanced up for approval. But finally, Olivia managed to find her words.  
  
"You have no idea how many times I imaged seeing you just like that, between my thighs."  
  
Natalia smiled again for just a moment and then began to lick Olivia again in a long trail that went from her anus to her pubic hair.  
  
"So how's the reality feel?" Natalia asked.  
  
"More than I imagined," Olivia offered in a gravelly voice.  
  
Natalia's hands reached up and began to stroke Olivia's breasts.

"When you're aroused your voice drops, just like when you're angry…It's very sexy…Come on, Baby…" Another long lick accompanied the words. "Talk to me."  
  
Olivia let out a deep laugh and stroked Natalia's hair. "Talk? I'm lucky I can still breath with what you're doing."  
  
"Fine," Natalia relented and placed her hands on Olivia's hips pulling her closer. "I'll just imagine that voice while I feast then."  
  
Without giving Olivia a chance to reply Natalia's mouth dove back down into her lover's center with such fervor that the older woman's hips left the bed, striving to meet her lover's tongue. Olivia's hand shot to the back to Natalia's head, this time holding her in place and leading her to areas that needed extra attention. She began to rotate her hips and buck against Natalia's mouth and although it felt delightful, Olivia wanted more. She began to stop her movements.  
  
"Natalia?" Olivia called down softly and with such uncertainty that Natalia looked surprised. "Will you…?"  
  
"Stop?" Natalia asked nervously, hoping it wasn't so.  
  
Olivia shook her head fiercely. "No! God, no… I just… I wanna feel you inside me."  
  
Natalia smiled and put two fingers into her mouth seductively as Olivia watched.  
  
"You want these?" she asked holding her fingers up.  
  
Olivia nodded enthusiastically.  
  
With great ease she slide them inside the older woman.  
  
"Ohhh, yessss," Olivia hissed and began to grind against the offered hand. When Natalia's lips returned to their ministrations Olivia cried out something incoherently.  
  
Although Natalia didn't understand the words, she understood the meaning.  
  
Olivia was on fire….and she was the cause…  
  
 **Chapter Thirty-Four**  
  
Natalia’s free hand reached up and took Olivia’s from the bedspread. While intertwining their fingers, the younger woman continued to suckle as best she could from Olivia’s sex while her fingers continued to stroke away. Not only could both women feel the intenseness of Olivia’s soaking arousal, her scent filled the room.  
  
But it wasn’t Olivia’s sent alone. Natalia felt an ache deep within herself, and a passion so powerful, that she could feel her inner-thighs growing wetter by the minute. She never imagined that giving pleasure could be so exciting.  
  
And the sounds that Olivia made. Good heavens. She had only two prior lovers in her life and neither was very vocal. Gus said very little and Frank, aside from a few grunts prior to climax, said nothing.  
  
Olivia, however, she was like a fire sucking the oxygen from every surrounding area of the heat. Natalia wasn’t sure if Olivia’s passion was the fact it had been years since she had release with a partner or if this was a regular occurrence.  
  
Either way she loved it and wanted to find a way to make sure it happened every time they were together. Every noise she made was positively thrilling – her sighs; her moans; her words she tried to say yet failed to get out. Of course there were the ones she did manage to say like ‘faster,’ ‘harder,’ and ‘more.’  
  
Olivia quickly shook her hand free from Natalia’s and literally grabbed her lover behind an ear as she buried her fingers in Natalia’s hair. Her other hand shot to Natalia’s wrist holding her fingers in place.  
  
Natalia watched in awe as Olivia’ raised her hips high and she screamed out as much as her name as she could.  
  
"Natalllliiii…" She collapsed and after taking a steadying breath said, "ahhh," both in satisfaction, and a way of finishing her lover’s name.  
  
Natalia found herself breathing hard just from watching Olivia climax.  
  
After a few light kisses that made Olivia literally twitch, Natalia asked coyly, "So, I did okay then?"  
  
Olivia moved to her elbows with a look of wonder.  
  
"No, that totally sucked. Whatever happens, never do THAT again," she said sarcastically.  
  
"I can do better next time," Natalia said playing along.  
  
Olivia laughed as she sat up.  
  
"If you do BETTER, Sweetie, you just might kill me," she added as she helped Natalia get to the bed.  
  
Once upright, the raven-haired woman didn’t stay that way for long. She pulled Olivia down to the bed while they both relaxed in each other’s arms. Natalia rested her head against Olivia’s shoulder as her finger made lazy figure eights on Olivia’s stomach. The Latina cleared her throat.  
  
"Honestly now; no jokes…Is that what you expected?"  
  
"That was more than what I expected," Olivia replied.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
"Honest?"  
  
"Honest."  
  
"You don’t have to lie-."  
  
Olivia rolled Natalia over as one hand cupped the side of the insecure woman’s face.  
  
"Rather than argue…why don’t I tell you, and show you, how wonderful you make me feel?"  
  
Natalia smiled.

 **Chapter Thirty-Five**  
  
Olivia rolled Natalia completely onto her back. She smiled as her thumb gently caressed her lover's cheek.  
  
"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen," Olivia complimented quietly. She was rewarded with a dimpled smile that made her smile even broader in return. She then leaned over and kissed each dimple. "And you're right, I think I do have a weakness for dimples…but yours ARE the best."  
  
Natalia giggled. "You're going to make me blush."  
  
"Please do," Olivia teased. "I want to see if you turn red all over or if it's just your face."  
  
Natalia laughed and closed her eyes. "Oh boy."  
  
Olivia looked down and snorted.  
  
"Yep, it's all of you," she said taking in Natalia's reddening body.  
  
Natalia playfully swatted Olivia's arm.  
  
"Stop. You're making it worse."  
  
"I'll kiss it and make it better," Olivia said as she leaned over and kissed Natalia's collarbone. "How's that?"  
  
Natalia pursed her lips. "Ehh, it's a start," she said sounding bored.  
  
Olivia moved to her elbow and looked down at Natalia who now wore a confident smirk.  
  
"You sure are a demanding one," she said playfully.  
  
Natalia swallowed hard. She looked nervous for a split second before confidence and desire overtook her.  
  
"If I was demanding I'd do something like this…" She then clutched Olivia by the back of the head and led the woman's lips straight to her erect right nipple.  
  
Instinctively, Olivia's lips complied and wrapped around the perk point, which constricted even more with just the slightest amount of suction. After a few moments of letting her lips and tongue play, Olivia nipped and sucked her way to Natalia's earlobe.  
  
"I love the way your body reacts to mine," she whispered. Her fingertips began to roll the nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Every few seconds she'd release the tip and take the entire mound of Natalia's breast in her hand, giving it a firm, but not violent, squeeze. It was just enough pressure to show the intense desire she had, but tender enough not to hurt her. Then she'd resume her fingertip rolls. Natalia couldn't contain her moan, and in truth, she didn't want to. She wanted Olivia to understand exactly what she was feeling and after a few minutes she began to realize why Olivia was unable to talk to her moments before.  
  
"You like this, don't you?" Olivia asked, her voice heavy with reserved-desire that threatened to break free. All Natalia could do was nod. "Not easy to talk when you're this turned on while someone's touching you, is it?" she teased, as if reading her mind.  
  
Natalia had to chuckle now and she took Olivia's wrist to stop her movements for a moment. "You win, okay? It's harder than it looks."  
  
Olivia reached back for the nipple again that was now the texture of a pebble. "I'd say it's quite hard actually," she retorted as she played with the firm nipple again. That remark earned her another light slap. "Let's see if we can find anything else that's hard."  
  
Olivia reached down between Natalia's legs and without warning ran her fingertips lightly over the woman's engorged clitoris. Natalia arched up into the touch.  
  
"Whadda ya know?" Olivia teased. "I found something else that's hard."  
  
Natalia's eyes closed, but she had a huge smile on her face. Olivia began to gently work the bud, sliding it between her middle and index finger. Natalia's smile fell soon though and her look of amusement was replaced by ardent desire. Her jaw clinched and her body tensed as her hips began to move in time with Olivia's hand and the older woman felt her mouth go dry as she watched her lover start bucking against her. Olivia didn't stop moving her hand at all as she positioned her mouth close to Natalia's ear as possible.  
  
"So you like my voice, huh?" Olivia asked her.  
  
Natalia nodded and managed to strain out, "Love it."  
  
Olivia grinned as her fingers dipped further south, and running between Natalia's soaked lips. Natalia groaned and arched even more.  
  
"Obviously," Olivia began and then ran her tongue along the outside of Natalia's ear, "the more I talk, the wetter you seem to get…but I want you to do something for me, Baby…" Olivia took her hand away and Natalia whimpered a protest.  
  
The dark-haired woman watched helplessly as Olivia moved away and began to kneel next to her. "I want you to relax," Olivia told her.  
  
"You know you're asking the impossible, right? I'm as far from relaxed as I can be now. I'm as taunt as a bowstring here."  
  
"I know," Olivia answered. "So I'm going to help you," she said as she went down and began rubbing Natalia's feet and ankles. "Just relax and let your muscles loosen up. I swear I won't stop until you're satisfied. You have my word," Olivia swore. "The damn hotel could be on FIRE and I promise I won't stop," she emphasized. "Just trust me, okay?"  
  
Natalia focused on Olivia's face and although she saw desire there she also saw love, devotion and a consideration she'd never had with any other lover.  
  
Her heart melted and she nodded.  
  
 **Chapter Thirty-Six**  
  
Natalia lay on the bed, totally naked and exposed. Her knees were bent while her feet lay flat against the bed. At her side was Olivia. The older woman knelt there, looking at Natalia with an adoration neither woman had ever experienced before. Natalia reached out and squeezed the closest part of Olivia’s body – her knee.  
  
"I trust you," Natalia whispered as she answered her question.  
  
Olivia beamed in response and continued her massage of Natalia’s ankles and feet.  
  
"Then close your eyes," Olivia told her. "Just…feel, okay?" Natalia did as Olivia instructed and the older woman was pleased when, after a few minutes, she watched Natalia sink further into the bed. "Good," Olivia told her. "Just enjoy; unwind."  
  
Natalia cleared her throat; her eyes still closed. "This feels wonderful."  
  
"No one’s ever done this for you while you were pregnant, huh?" Olivia asked knowingly.  
  
Natalia moved to her elbows with the realization. "No," she remarked.  
  
Olivia ran a hand up Natalia side, making the woman whimper, before gently pushing her shoulder back down to the mattress.  
  
"Stay loose," Olivia commanded and Natalia complied by lying back down and closing her eyes. "I remember how much my ankles and feet hurt sometimes with Ava and Emma. What I wouldn’t have given for this," she mentioned as she continued to use her fingers and palms to rub the sore muscles and tendons. After a few moments Natalia giggled. "Ticklish?" Olivia asked.  
  
"No, I was just thinking…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is it possible to be relaxed AND turned on at the same time?"  
  
Olivia grinned devilishly. "Yes." She then positioned herself between Natalia’s legs and started to rub her calves, which elicited a moan of relief, and desire, from the pregnant woman.  
  
After a few moments, Natalia giggled again and Olivia smiled.  
  
"Still surprised how good this feels?" Olivia asked affectionately.  
  
"No," Natalia replied. "Not that this doesn’t feel good. It feels wonderful," she amended. Her eyes were still closed as she began to stretch out. "I just can’t believe I waited this long to let you get your hands on me."  
  
Now it was Olivia’s turn to moan.  
  
"Let’s not focus on lost time," Olivia managed to reply. "Let’s just focus on the fact I want my hands on you for the rest of my life. Deal?"  
  
Natalia made an affirmative noise as Olivia’s fingertips and ball of her hand began to rub the top of Natalia’s thighs. When her hands worked their way behind Natalia’s thighs and began to rub, the younger woman naturally raised her hips closer to Olivia, giving the older woman a full view of her sex.  
  
Olivia’s hands didn’t stop moving. In fact, they worked their way behind Natalia’s buttock and began to massage the flesh. Upon seeing the glistening at the apex of Natalia’s legs, Olivia began to salivate and she could feel herself starting to perspire just slightly.  
  
The sounds that Natalia was beginning to make – the light whimpering and breathy sighs – weren’t helping Olivia’s resolve of relaxing Natalia’s muscles. With each passing moment it was becoming a private hell for Olivia. Did she continue to massage her or dive headfirst and taste Natalia’s nectar that was in front of her; teasing her?  
  
When Natalia moaned again and began to stroke Olivia’s arm, the choice was made for her. Olivia’s head disappeared below Natalia’s growing belly and although all Natalia could see was the top of Olivia’s head she could certainly feel her lover’s tongue. She cried out and took possession of the back of Olivia’s head, grabbing a fist full of hair. Olivia quickly pulled away.  
  
"I’m sorry," Natalia apologized, letting her go. "Did I hurt you?"  
  
"Not at all," Olivia replied. "And sometimes a little pain is a good thing," she said coyly. "You were just getting too tense again. Just relax, Sweetie. Let it all build higher and higher. You’ll have a more powerful organism that way. I promise." Natalia looked away shyly. "You don’t believe me?" Olivia replied.  
  
"It’s not that. I just…Don’t laugh at me, but I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm."  
  
Olivia began to grin.  
  
"I said don’t laugh at me," Natalia repeated growing insecure.  
  
"Oh, Baby, I’m not," Olivia promised the smile now gone. "Honestly, I’m not. And the truth is I thought that might be a possibility. You’ve always been a _good Catholic girl_ and Catholic girls aren’t supposed to… _explore_ , are they? Not with other people or even themselves? Am I right?" Natalia closed her eyes in frustration and nodded. "Shhh," Olivia said shushing away her irritation.  
  
Natalia opened her eyes and faced Olivia again. "How am I supposed to let you know what I like if I don’t even know?" Natalia asked.  
  
"Let’s find out together," Olivia replied in a sexy tenor, her voice dropping again. "I’m game if you are."  
  
 **Chapter Thirty-Seven**  
  
Olivia lay down beside Natalia and rested her temple on her fist as she looked at the naked woman beside her. Her other hand lazily caressed the growing baby bump of Natalia's stomach.  
  
"Let's call this Sex Tips 101," Olivia said, which made Natalia chuckled.  
  
"I think I might need the 100 course first," Natalia replied.  
  
"Honey, you're pregnant. You're already a mom. AND you made me climax tonight – you're not THAT much of a novice," Olivia countered.  
  
Natalia barked out a laugh and reached out and stroked Olivia's face.  
  
"Do me a favor?" she asked softly.  
  
"Anything." There was no hiding the affection in Olivia's voice.  
  
Natalia smiled even wider as her fingers continued to glide across Olivia's face. She turned slightly to face her more fully.  
  
"Even if there are times I act like I don't enjoy your jokes, just remember I do."  
  
"I know you do," Olivia replied. "That's why I don't stop telling them, even if you don't laugh."  
  
"You do make me laugh, you do, and although I've always tried to stay positive, the real truth is… I haven't laughed very much in my life – not until you anyway. So, promise me, okay? Even if I complain, realize I enjoy every smile you've given me and I've even enjoyed a few scowls you've induced."  
  
Olivia's wander hand took purchase of Natalia's face.  
  
"I live to make you smile," Olivia said with a grin, but slowly she began to frown "That's why the leaving…that's why it was so hard for me when you just left…I've never loved anyone as much as you and, believe me, I've fallen head over heels before in my life – and always with the wrong person it seemed. I thought this time was different and then when you went..." Olivia shook her head. "I'm sorry. We're lying naked in bed. Now's not the time to get into this."  
  
"Anytime you want to discuss it is the 'right time,'" Natalia replied. "I'm never going to have a grand gesture that will take that pain away. I see that now. The only thing that's going to help us is if you keep talking and I keep listening or showing you how much you mean."  
  
Olivia began to grin. "And mind blowing sex… that, uh… that helps."  
  
Natalia and Olivia both began to chuckle.  
  
"Well, I don't think it hurt…did it?" Natalia replied. Then she paused a few beats and asked, "Not physically, but emotionally…I mean… are you okay?"  
  
Olivia smiled and then nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I am. In fact, I don't think too many gestures are grander than sharing your body or bringing someone pleasure."  
  
Natalia sat up quickly. "I don't want you to think I did this to manipulate your feelings, Oliv-."  
  
Olivia rose to meet her and put a finger over her lips silencing her. "I know you didn't. And I didn't bring you here with the intent that you prove anything to me. I brought you back here for two simple reasons. One – I love you and always will. And two…you turn me on to no end. Case closed."  
  
Natalia smiled.  
  
"Feeling's mutual," she replied. "I want you for the rest of my life, so thank you for giving me this chance. And even though I know you're not capable of believing it right now …you won't regret it."  
  
"Well, how about we work on building that trust a bit more, hmm? After all, I made a promise, remember?" Olivia asked with an alluring timbre in her voice.  
  
"You can do whatever you want to me," Natalia offered as she stroked Olivia's arm.  
  
Olivia took a ragged breath at the thought of _anything_. In fact, over a thousand scenarios seemed to enter her mind at once, but she shook off the overwhelming urge to devour her then and there. Instead, she simply gave a short nod.  
  
"Three ground rules. First rule – if you climax tonight that's wonderful and if you don't, that's wonderful too – just as long as you learn one new thing that you enjoy. Just one - that's all I ask. Agreed?" Natalia nodded. "Two, if I do anything that scares or hurts you, you'll tell me. Okay?" Again, Natalia nodded. "And three…don't forget to breathe." Natalia looked confused. "Sounds crazy, huh? When people become sexually excited or they think they're near climax they usually hold their breath. That's bad because if you take breaths then it keeps oxygen in your system and your reaction is even stronger."  
  
Natalia giggled. "You really DO know a lot about sex."  
  
Olivia nodded and then leaned down and gently kissed the area between Natalia's cheek and earlobe.  
  
"Yes, I do, Sweetie. And I'm going to share everything I know with you. Not tonight of course, - after all we have jobs, children, et cetera... but… we'll get there – just like we always do."  
  
"Well, I know one thing you do that I really enjoy," Natalia told her.  
  
"Mmm, what's that, Baby?"  
  
Natalia reached and pulled Olivia's face closer to her. "This," she said as she kissed her slowly and sensuously, exploring each other's mouths for a few minutes. "God, you're a fantastic kisser," she complimented, their breath intermingling.  
  
Olivia grabbed a fist full of Natalia's hair and began to kiss her pulse point at her neck.  
  
"Confession time?" Olivia asked. Not waiting for an answer she said, "You are the best kisser I've ever known. And I'm not just saying that to build your confidence or ego. You truly are."  
  
Natalia watched as Olivia pulled back to lean directly over her face. The pair stared into each other's eyes for a long moment.  
  
"And this too," Natalia replied. "I like this when you lock eyes with me so intensely. I see all the love and devote you have and it…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It makes me want to do this," Natalia said as she rose up and captured Olivia's lips with hers. Her hand grabbed the back of Olivia's head gently, and with relative ease she rolled the older woman to her back. As she was partially lying on top of her, Natalia began devouring her mouth. After a few moans, Olivia captured Natalia's face in her hands and rolled her to her back once more so she was on top again.  
  
"I'm in charge now, remember?" Olivia asked looking down at her. "You had your fun – now it's my turn."  
  
"I can't help it," Natalia giggled. "You make me wanna…"  
  
"Fuck?" Olivia asked bluntly.  
  
The smile Natalia wore fell and the look of sheer longing now stood in its place. She nodded.  
  
"Yeah," she said softly, yet ardently, as she licked her lips. "You make me wanna fuck." Natalia began to grin. "I liked that too," she admitted after a moment.  
  
"What?" Olivia asked.  
  
"I like it when you talk dirty, but I like it when I talk dirty too."  
  
A devious smile washed over Olivia's face.  
  
"Ohhh, realllly. Well then…what would you like me to do Natalia? Tell me."  
  
Natalia bit her lip for a moment and in a timid voice she said, "Fuck me."  
  
Olivia looked around the room for a moment. "We're all alone…Say it louder."  
  
Natalia grinned and in a louder voice she said, "Fuck me."  
  
"Oh, baby. I've heard you bitch me out lots of times. You've ordered me around night and day. Say it like you mean it."  
  
Natalia's eyes became hooded with desire and she grabbed Olivia by the back of the head. Her breathing became shallow.  
  
"You're making me so wet," she confessed, her voice dropping an octave in her growing desire.  
  
"Then say it," Olivia taunted playfully.  
  
Natalia took a deep breath and tightened her hold on her lover's hair, pulling her closer. She began to lick and suck the older woman's exposed neck.  
  
"Olivia Spencer," Natalia announced in a confident and wanton voice, "Fuck me."  
  
Olivia smiled for only a few moments. She pulled away and placed her body on all fours over Natalia. She leaned her torso forward so her lips could capture Natalia's breasts. The position left her derrière exposed. Seizing the opportunity, Natalia reached up and grabbed the woman by her ass and squeezed, digging her fingernails in just slightly.  
  
Olivia suddenly threw her head back and groaned, "God, nails."  
  
"Sorry," Natalia quickly apologized.  
  
"No, no," Olivia corrected her quickly. "Don't stop. Doris was right. It feels…oh god, yeah."  
  
Olivia immediately returned to worshiping Natalia's breasts with the lips, teeth and tongue. With desire and a renewed confidence, Natalia grabbed Olivia's buttocks again and each time Olivia did something that she enjoyed, Natalia would dig her nails into Olivia's flesh, just somewhat, to show her satisfaction without words.  
  
Olivia's lips began to pluck at the taunt nipple and Natalia groaned, "Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot."  
  
Olivia rose up so she could look down at Natalia. She took the younger woman's hands in hers and placed them over Natalia's own breasts. The younger woman looked confused at first.  
  
"It's okay to touch yourself," Olivia told her. "I want you to explore yourself just as much as you wanted to explore me."  
  
Natalia wasn't moving so Olivia placed her hands over Natalia's to give the woman greater confidence. After a few moments of gliding Natalia's hands Olivia let go and watched as Natalia began to pitch and squeeze her own breasts. Olivia stayed straddled over Natalia's hips, just south of the growing baby bump. She too began to play with her own breasts.  
  
"Here," Olivia said as she took own breast in her hand and raised it to her own mouth. She began to suck on the harden nipple and she heard Natalia's breath catch and hold.  
  
"Remember rule three," Olivia said release her own breast from her mouth. "Breathe."  
  
Natalia took a deep breath and watched as Olivia motioned her head toward Natalia to try what she just did. Although a bit nervous, Natalia licked her lips quickly and then pulled her breast toward her face and her lips snagged the nipple into her mouth. She gave a brief suck and then moaned at the contact.  
  
Olivia began to sway and she could feel a brand-new wetness flood her center at the sight of Natalia explore, and enjoying, her own body.  
  
"God, you look so fucking sexy right now," Olivia managed to mutter.  
  
Natalia grinned and released her breast.  
  
"Turnabout's fair play," she said as she glanced around the room. "We're all alone. Say it louder."  
  
Natalia became the tease. She then took her own breast back into her mouth, almost as if taunting Olivia with the fact she had the nipple instead of her. Plus, this time she arched her back and she groaned.  
  
Upon seeing the wanton display of her lover starting to please herself again, Olivia found herself falling forward on her palms so she was inches away from Natalia's lips that were devouring her own breast.  
  
"You look so fucking sexy right now," Olivia repeated in a firm, louder and more demanding voice.  
  
This time she leaned over and both of their tongues fought for control over which one would get to worship Natalia's breast. Suddenly the younger woman gave up and grabbed Olivia by the back of the head and she said, "I need…I…I'm not sure, Olivia…I'm just… I'm on fire."  
  
Olivia reached down and without build up or warning, she ran her fingers across Natalia's drenched sex. The younger woman's hips rose to meet her hand. The older woman then looked down with a sense of wide-eyed wonder.  
  
"You are so incredibly wet right now," she remarked. "That's just…that is so absolutely hot, Baby."  
  
Natalia began to physical pant. "Do what I did," she ordered but then said, "Please…" as an after though  
  
Olivia smiled devilishly.  
  
"Please what?" she ribbed as she began to lick her fingers that were covered in Natalia's arousal.  
  
After a deep moan of yearning, Natalia firmly, yet gently, pushed on Olivia's shoulders, guiding her down to her soaked sex.  
  
"Your mouth. On me. Right now."  
  
That's all she had to say. Olivia never moved so quickly to get between anyone else's legs in her life.  
  
 **Chapter Thirty-Eight**  
  
Divine. It's the only word that Olivia could use to describe how Natalia's arousal tasted. She was musky and sweet and slippery and…her scent… that was just incredible. Taking her own advice, Olivia continued breathing too, inhaling the smell of Natalia's passion.  
  
Natalia's passion for her – just her; no one else.  
  
As Olivia worked her hands under Natalia's bottom and her mouth laid claim to the younger woman's center, she knew at that moment, without any doubt…Natalia was hers. Whether she would stick around though was another matter. Olivia quickly pushed her insecurity aside and instead focused on the here and now.  
  
And right here Natalia was spreading her legs wider, pulling her closer, allowing her to explore her intimately in a way few people, if anyone ever had. And now she had Natalia and she didn't want to let go…ever.  
  
But Olivia wasn't greedy in her quest to take in Natalia - not at all. She was quite meticulous about where and how she used her tongue. She first ran it through Natalia's folds, licking up the wetness that had gathered there. She found, however, that the woman offered an endless stream of ardor between her legs. So no matter how much she consumed her, Natalia was like a fresh spring that never grew dry. And aside from tasting Natalia, Olivia also enjoyed teasing her and hearing the small whimpers come each time she'd let her tongue tickle Natalia's clitoris, ever so slightly, without making full contact.  
  
Natalia, for her part, had never experienced anything quite like this. While it's true she herself had just captured Olivia with her mouth in such a way that evening, she'd never experience such satisfaction herself. Gus had tried once to bring her oral pleasure, but nothing compared to what Olivia was instilling within her now.  
  
For years the church had told her this act alone – genders aside – was a dirty and a sinful act. It had nothing to do with procreation and everything to do with lust, desire and sexual greed. Natalia had questioned much of her church's teachings in the last few weeks, but right now this rule was definitely not one open to debate in her eyes. She knew as she felt Olivia lapping at her center and making her own sounds of satisfaction that there was nothing dirty about what was happening at all. It was a loving, intimate act that spoke volumes to their dedication and amour for each other. But in the end none of that was what mattered most. The bottom line was simple…  
  
It felt fucking fantastic, so much so that Natalia uncontrollably vocalized it.  
  
"Fuck," she sighed, making Olivia whimper since her mouth was otherwise occupied. But as wonderful as it was feeling, Natalia wanted more. Unseen by her, Olivia was already putting her fingers in her own mouth getting them wet. Natalia began to ask, "Will you-?" but didn't say more because Olivia was already pushing three fingers into her with ease; filling her. "…do that," Natalia finished with a grin, satisfied in the fact that Olivia had read her body before she even had.  
  
Olivia kept her fingers buried in her lover, but she moved to rest her elbow so she could look up at Natalia. She began to move in a slow, but rhythmic fashion, sliding deep inside, but she stopped just shy of fully coming out. With each thrust she allowed her thumb to tickle Natalia's clit, just slightly.  
  
"How about this?" Olivia asked, her voice deep; smoky. "Do you like me filling you?"  
  
Natalia reached down and continuously pushed Olivia's hair behind her ear in affection. She nodded, but said, "I like that thumb more I think."  
  
Olivia grinned wickedly.  
  
She pushed deep inside Natalia, but this time instead of recoiling or teasing, she let her thumb brush back and forth over Natalia's clit repeatedly. Olivia watched in delight as Natalia raised her ass off the bed and bared down on her hand even more, striving for more contact. At that point, Olivia stopped moving altogether and she just watched in wonder and desire as Natalia began to ride against her hand with abandon.  
  
The younger woman couldn't describe how incredible it felt to be taken and possessed by this woman. How many times did she watch Olivia typing, writing notes…hell, buttering a slice of bread…and wish she had those fingers on her; in her; possessing her? The fantasy of it paled in utter comparison to what she was feeling now.  
  
Natalia's breaths were coming in short pants, but she was still breathing. She figured if she stopped and held her breath that Olivia might take her hand away, and at this moment, she didn't want to stop for anything. Let the hotel burn down. Let Frank, Rafe and half of Springfield open that door. She didn't give a damn. She wasn't about to stop for anyone or anything. It felt too wonderful; it felt…  
  
Divine….  
  
That's how Natalia would describe it – blissful; heavenly. She felt like God had giving her a gift for her and her alone. That gift was Olivia Spencer and she had every intention of enjoying it to the fullest – the rest of the world be damned.  
  
She couldn't believe how energized she felt or how the feeling of desire just kept rising higher and higher. Just when she thought she'd reached the pinnacle she'd find her exhilaration climb even higher. It was then that she felt a clinching deep within her. It was so powerful, and unlike anything she'd ever felt physically.  
  
Olivia was watching Natalia intensely and saw how the look of utter arousal turned into one of wide-eyed wonder and…fear?… Something was amiss – she could tell, but before she could ask Natalia spoke.  
  
"Okay," she said taking hold of Olivia's hand. "Maybe, we oughta…I don't know. Slow down?" she suggested.  
  
Olivia gently slid her hand from Natalia's center and moved to lie next to her side. Both women were still breathing hard.  
  
"Did I scare you, Natalia? I told you to be honest with me."  
  
"I never…It was like I felt this fluttering I never felt and there was this tightening and…That's never happened," she tried to explain. "I'm saying this all wrong, aren't I?"  
  
Olivia buried her face into Natalia's neck and began to plant affectionate kisses. She did it for two reasons. She wanted to feel physically closer to Natalia while showing her affection, but she also wanted to hide her growing smile. She didn't want Natalia to feel self-conscious about her lack of sexual experience.  
  
"Would you like to know what that feeling was, Sweetie?" Olivia replied. She still didn't look up. She could feel Natalia nodding against her head. "It's the onset of an orgasm. You know it's been years since I had my first one, but to be honest, the first time it happened to me…it worried me a little too." Olivia then rose up, the smile gone from her face. "It felt wonderful, but it felt scary at the same time," she remembered.  
  
Natalia saw Olivia's adoration reflected back at her.  
  
"Really?" she asked. "You're not making that up to make me feel better, are you?"  
  
Olivia shook her head. "No," she replied. "I was alone in my room and…let's just say I found all the right moves – like you did tonight, by the way," she complimented, making Natalia smiled. "And the first time it began to happen I thought, 'Whoa! What's this?' but when I kept going; kept moving past that first…shock…then…oh wow." Olivia finished with a chuckle.  
  
She sat up next to Natalia and said, "We've got two choices, Sweetie. We can spend the rest of the night here, just snuggling side-by-side. We didn't find just one thing you like, but quite a few, so I'm happy. I think you're happy too, right?" Natalia nodded. "Good, so we can call it a night if you like or…or we try to move beyond that initial fear of the unknown and…hopefully you'll have a little 'oh wow' of your own tonight…It's totally up to you."  
  
Natalia smiled. "What do you think the answer is?"  
  
"I don't know," Olivia replied honestly. "I know what I'D like," she replied with a sexy grin, "But whatever you desire…that's what we'll do 'cause either way, I'm already over the moon tonight."  
  
Natalia bit her lip as if really considering the choice. If Olivia could have seen into her mind she would know what Natalia was really taking into account was how she managed to find an excellent lover, but also one that truly cared about her well being, and not just exploiting the desire she instilled. She knew that Gus really cared, as did Frank, but in the end...it was about them coming. This time... this time was different. This time everything felt... _right_.  
  
The choice was made in a matter of seconds, but Natalia still looked anxious.  
  
"Can you…stay right here - next to me," she asked shyly, "…while you touch me, I mean? I want you close to me. I want to see you."  
  
Olivia beamed.  
  
"Whatever you desire," she repeated.

 **Chapter Thirty-Nine**  
  
Natalia gently took Olivia's wrist and led the woman's hand back to the apex of her legs.  
  
Olivia, for her part, came to lie beside Natalia. She propped one leg over Natalia so her own center rested against her lover's hipbone. She shuddered at the contact, but this wasn't about her desire and want.  
  
 _This is about Natalia. There'll be plenty of other nights for my fun_ , she decided silently. Still, the contact was delightful – she had to admit that much. Plus, she was certain that once Natalia got back into the spirit of things those hips would begin to move and that thought created a new wetness that she was sure Natalia could feel.  
  
Natalia reached over and began to caress Olivia's shoulder and arm that was now connected to her center. Olivia gently and lovingly touched her; teased her folds before focusing on the bundle of nerves at the top.  
  
It was beautiful to feel Olivia's fingertips shimmering across her sex, but Natalia wanted more; much more. She suddenly got greedy for that feeling again – those glorious butterflies that her insecurity scared away moments before. So reaching down she took a hold of Olivia's hand and pushed down slightly, putting more pressure on her clit as her body rose up.  
  
Soon the pair began a rhythmic dance and when Natalia's hips began to move, just as Olivia suspected, she could feel Natalia's flesh rubbing against her sex, moving back and forth, taking her to a greater height of arousal.  
  
"Oh, god," Olivia moaned, unable to contain her excitement.  
  
"You're so wet," Natalia told her.  
  
"You can feel that?" Olivia asked.  
  
"How could I not," Natalia panted. "You're soaked again."  
  
Olivia grinned. "It's you. You know that, right?" she asked and then bore her hand down just a little bit more and picked up the pace. "It's all for you."  
  
Natalia didn't reply. She arched her back as she took a fist full of the comforter in her hand. Olivia took the opportunity of Natalia's raised back to work herself closer. She slide her arm under her lover so she practically cradled the woman – her forearm diagonal against Natalia's back and her fingertips clutching the back of Natalia's left shoulder.  
  
Olivia's breath was hot against Natalia's ear and neck. "You're the sexist thing that God put on this planet. And you're mine. All mine. No one will ever have you like this again. No one."  
  
Natalia grew even wetter at the possessive tone to Olivia's voice at the words 'mine' and 'no one.' She didn't mind at all because it was the truth – she was Olivia's…completely…mind, soul and now body. And there wasn't anyone in the world she wanted more. If she were being totally truthful there had never been anyone who had captured her so fully and completely than Olivia.  
  
Natalia turned and locked eyes with Olivia to try to tell her as much. She opened her mouth to speak, but words were failing her at the moment. All she felt was sensation. She did manage to nod intensely though to show how captivated by Olivia she was and how much she enjoyed the thought. A few moments later her breath was coming now in shorter and shorter gasps, with both woman striving even harder against each other.  
  
"Oh God," Natalia muttered as the butterflies began to return again.  
  
Olivia grinned, this time recognizing what was happening within her lover. She was at a crossroads – should she let sense of touch alone rule the situation or should she try to include as many other senses as possible? She decided in a split second that she'd let two senses rule over all the others – Natalia's sense of touch and sense of sound.  
  
"You feel it don't you, Baby?" Olivia began, not expecting an answer yet remembering how much Natalia wanted to hear her voice earlier. She didn't hesitating her hand movements in the slightest as she spoke. "Don't worry, okay? Just enjoy it. I've got you, Sweetheart. I've got you. You're safe with me."  
  
As the feeling began to double in intensity, Natalia's mouth fell open and she ground her hips into Olivia even more until her sex was practically smacking against Olivia's hand. The velocity was so intense that both women could hear the wet slapping of flesh against flesh. Of course, Natalia's movements only intensified what Olivia was feeling against Natalia's hip.  
  
Olivia chuckled just slightly. "God, Baby, you're gonna make me come again just watching you," she told her in delight. "Fuck yeah!" she exclaimed as she watched Natalia pick up her pace even more. The comment forced a deep groan from Natalia's throat. "You're so close now," Olivia told her. "A little more. A little more."  
  
"Please don't stop," Natalia begged as if her life depended on it.  
  
Olivia leaned over, her lips assaulting Natalia's neck. The suction was so fierce she was sure it would leave a purple mark for the world to see, but she didn't care. In fact, she wanted the world to see that Natalia was branded by the passion she had for her. She wanted to walk into Company and let every goddamn Cooper get a good look at her neck and know that'd Natalia'd been fucked – and fucked good by someone who knew how. _Frank might not be able to make her come, but I will goddamn it. And she won't run from me. Oh, no. I'll have her begging me every night to take her._  
  
The thought made Olivia growl out loud, "Nothing's gonna stop me, Baby, except you."  
  
Olivia watched Natalia's teeth clinch slightly.  
  
"Ohmy, ohmy, ohmy," Natalia began to pant over and over.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's it," Olivia told her as she moved back again to look at Natalia. "That's it, Baby. Feel it. Feel me fucking you, Sweetheart. I swear I'll love you forever Natalia. Forever, Baby. Come on. That's it. Come for me Sweetheart. I wanna hear you come."  
  
Natalia's eyes widened and her mouth opened even more. But then she began to hold her breath.  
  
"Breathe, Honey," Olivia said gently. "Breathe and soak it in. Feel it all over!"  
  
Natalia inhaled deeply and as she began to blow it out her release hit her unlike anything she'd ever felt.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh," Natalia cried out as she bucked even more wildly against Olivia's hand.  
  
Olivia was certain that the only time she might have smiled larger was when she saw Emma for the first time. Watching Natalia climax was... the closest she'd ever gotten to heaven and true joy. She knew, no matter what, she'd never forget it.  
  
Even as the orgasmic contractions were still happening deep within her, Natalia took Olivia's smiling face in both her hands giving her a firm, passionate kiss. She still moaned and groaned her approval from behind their lips.  
  
And true to her word Olivia didn't stop moving her hand until Natalia reached down and brought the hand to her lips, kissing the fingers with complete reverence and joy. Natalia closed her eyes as if trying to savor the taste of every bit of the heat they created together. She offered Olivia her hand, letting her have a taste too and they both began to suck on Olivia's fingers together, making both of them moan simultaneously.  
  
Natalia smiled softly, and confessed, "That was the hottest thing I've ever experienced in my life." She began to shake her head in disbelief.  
  
"What is it?" Olivia asked.  
  
"You," she said incredulously. "You were willing to give up THAT to be with me? Really?" Olivia grinned and then nodded, not adding more. "You…you truly love me because…wow…"  
  
"See?" Olivia pointed. "I told you, didn't I? Wow, huh?"  
  
"I get it. I really get it. This is why sex is such a big fucking deal!" Natalia said excited.  
  
Olivia laughed at the profane outburst and pulled Natalia closer to her.  
  
"Glad I could shine the light on that fact."  
  
Natalia rose up and kissed Olivia again with renewed passion.  
  
"I wanna make you feel that way again," she told her and rolled Olivia on her back before she could protest. "I wanna make you climax again."  
  
Natalia's hands were on Olivia everywhere at once now and the hotelier felt the onslaught of uncontrolled kisses. She was elated at the attention, but also terribly amused while being aroused. It was an odd, yet fun, sensation.  
  
"Have I created a monster?" Olivia asked once Natalia's lips began to focus on her neck.  
  
Natalia pulled back and pinned Olivia to the bed momentarily.  
  
"We are going to do this first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Heck, I might work in a few lunches at the Beacon too."  
  
Olivia wiggled free and put her hands on Natalia's shoulders. She pushed her back slightly, but she gave her a light squeeze of reassurance too.  
  
"I'm never gonna sleep again, am I?"  
  
"Not on your life," Natalia answered and pulled the chuckling Olivia into another kiss.

 **Chapter Forty**  
  
Doris saw the sign out front of Company that said ‘closed’ and she looked at her watch. It was 6:45 in the morning, but she tried the doorknob anyway. To her surprise, it turned so she walked inside.  
  
The only light on was in the rear of the kitchen and she called out, "Anyone here?"  
  
A few moments later, Blake rounded the corner and her eyes immediately rolled upon seeing Doris.  
  
"We’re not open yet," she told the mayor.  
  
"Yes. That’s what the sign says. I have to go in earlier than usual today and the coffee there tastes like motor oil even first thing in the morning." Blake just looked at Doris. "And if it’s not too much trouble can you not spit in it? That’d be great, thanks."  
  
Without getting the approval she would be served, Doris took a seat at the bar and began to get her sugar and cream in order.  
  
"Tell me why you’re really here," Blake said as reached for a to-go cup.  
  
"You make the best coffee in Springfield, and no, I’m not pandering to the voters."  
  
"Doris," Blake sighed and shook her head. "I would never vote for you – ever. You are against everything I stand for. We have absolutely nothing in common."  
  
Doris looked Blake in the eyes and smiled. "We’re both hot."  
  
The empty cup Blake was holding fell from her grasp and she bent over to pick it up. When she did, she accidentally hit her head on the bar.  
  
Doris giggled. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Glad my pain is amusing you," Blake said holding her head as she picked up the cup.  
  
"You didn’t hit it that hard. Move your hand," Doris said as she walked around the counter. She stood up slightly taller and inspected the area of Blake’s injury. "It’s not even red. You’re fine."  
  
Blake grinned slightly. "Now if I had universal heath insurance I could find out for sure, huh? But since I don’t, I’ll just have to hope it’s nothing more serious."  
  
Doris sighed heavily. "Yes, that’s just what this country needs – to become socialists and spend trillions on a Marxist medical program."  
  
"It’d be a lot better than the trillions we’re handing war profiteers who are helping us ‘spread democracy’ around the globe in pointless wars."  
  
Doris took a defensive stance with her hands on her hips as she spoke.  
  
"You know, socialized medicine-?"  
  
"Single payer insurance," Blake interrupted.  
  
"Socialized medicine," Doris insisted.  
  
Blake took a step closer. "Single payer insurance."  
  
"Socialized medicine," Doris gritted through her teeth.  
  
"Single. Payer. Insurance." Blake stressed each word.  
  
Doris closed her eyes for a moment. "Whatever you call it, it shouldn’t be the responsibility of the government."  
  
"Oh so people should just fend for themselves when it comes to health matters, is that it?"  
  
"There are many options available today, yes," Doris replied.  
  
"So it’s socialist to make sure that all people are treated when they’re ill?"  
  
"Yes, it is!" Doris insisted.  
  
"But it’s not socialism," Blake went on, "to build and fund schools for the public? And it’s not socialism to offer a place where those now-literate people to check out a book or a DVD to further their education? And it’s not socialism to write a letter to my dear Aunt Mary in Michawaka and have someone else deliver it?"  
  
"I see what you’re trying to get at, but-."  
  
Blake didn’t stop her argument. She simply talked over Doris saying, "However, IT IS socialism to ensure that me, the teacher, the librarian and my dear Aunt Mary are healthy by offering medical coverage? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell do you right-wing, narrow-minded, heart-less, soul-less-?"  
  
One of Doris’s hands cupped Blake’s face while the other grabbed her hip on the opposite side. Doris pulled Blake into her and both women shook slightly at the impact. Doris pulled Blake so near to her that their foreheads rested against each other as she spoke.  
  
"I love watching you rant," Doris complimented in a hoarse voice.  
  
Blake nervously licked her lips. "Let me go," she said softly. Her actions betrayed her words though as her fingers began to clutch to Doris’s silk blouse, pulling her closer.  
  
Doris took a deep breath, inhaling Blake’s perfume and scent. "I would," she eventually replied, "…but I don’t think you want me to… Do you?"  
  
When Blake didn’t answer after five seconds, Doris raised her head so they could come eye-to-eye with each other.  
  
Simultaneously, their lips came crashing together and they began to find each other’s mouths passionately and repeatedly.

 **Chapter Forty-One**  
  
Doris sat at the booth at Company as Olivia walked over to her. The lunchtime crowd was light compared to most days. The hotelier smiled broadly, but didn't say a word as she sat next to the mayor. The smile became infectious and Doris began to grin as well.  
  
"From the look of things I'd say it was a good night?" Doris asked.  
  
"I have never…ever…" Olivia was at a loss for words.  
  
"Ahhh, yes. That first time," Doris said. "It's been awhile, but I remember it well."  
  
"She is just…And we're just…It was just…"  
  
"Speechless?" Doris asked. Olivia opened her mouth, but, try as she might, she couldn't force any words from her lips. "So I take it you two really do… _work_?"  
  
Olivia nodded. "Oh my goodness, yes. And you know what they say about Catholic girls? It's all true." Doris and Olivia both giggled like sophomoric teenagers. "But I am sorry that things didn't work out with you and…"  
  
Olivia motioned toward the bar where Blake was getting drinks together for a table. Doris grinned and seemed to be watching every move Blake made in silent appreciation. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Olivia.  
  
"No way! When?" the hotelier asked. "She left the restaurant last night mad as hell."  
  
"And she was just as pissed this morning after we got into the health care debate here at Company."  
  
"You slept with Blake here?" Olivia asked as she pointed downward.  
  
"First, there was no sleeping. We had sex. And two, not here. It was in the kitchen."  
  
"I didn't mean at this table," Olivia replied annoyed. "So you and Blake, huh? You guys are a couple?"  
  
"Oh hell, no!" Doris laughed quietly.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Oh, please. We're not dating; we just had sex. I'm not picking out china patterns with her, unlike you and Natalia. Or should I say picking out baby names?" Doris paused in thought and held up a finger so Olivia wouldn't interrupt. "You know you did everything backwards, right? You lived together. Then decided to fall in love. Then decided to have sex, but then you didn't because Natalia wigged out. Then you found out you're having a baby. Then you finally did have sex and now you're…What exactly are you two? Are you ever going to live with her again? Or would raising your children together in the same house just be too normal for you?"  
  
"You're such a smart ass," Olivia chuckled.  
  
Doris laughed slightly too. "That's true, I am… but answer the question."  
  
"I don't know and might I add, for someone who got laid today you're awful grumpy," Olivia replied.  
  
"Grump aside, tell me. Did you guys decide anything?"  
  
"She hasn't asked and I'm not going to push. I'm just basking in the glow of the most incredible sex I've ever had…and I mean ever."  
  
"I can't argue with that," Doris answered and raised her mug, taking a drink.  
  
Blake came over to the table with a carafe of water.  
  
"Need a refill?" she asked. Doris nodded and said thanks.  
  
As Blake filled her glass she looked over and noticed Olivia's happy expression.  
  
"You seem mighty chipper this morning," she commented.  
  
"So do you," Olivia replied.  
  
"Well if I didn't know any better I'd say someone got lucky," Blake teased playfully.  
  
"And I could say the same," Olivia retorted.  
  
Blake blushed and seemed relived when Buzz called out an order at the pick up window. She scurried away, but waved to Natalia who had just entered. Olivia admired Natalia from afar as Buzz walk toward her lover.  
  
"You are soooo smitten," Doris chuckled as she watched Olivia admiring Natalia. "It's cute actually."  
  
"Huh?" Olivia asked turning toward Doris. "Did you say something?"  
  
Doris just smiled. "Nothing," she said and watched as Olivia turned her head to gaze at her lover again.  
  
Up at the bar Buzz came over and gave Natalia a hug.  
  
"How's the momma doin' this afternoon? Can I get ya something? Pickles and ice cream? Sardines and chocolate?" Natalia made a disgusted face. "That was one of Nadine's favorites when she was carrying Frank, which probably explains why Frank's the way he is."  
  
Natalia swatted playfully at Buzz's arm to admonish him.  
  
"Be nice," she warned him.  
  
Buzz smiled but then leaned over, looking at Natalia's neck and the bruised purple skin.  
  
"Have a run in with vampire last night?" he asked.  
  
At first she didn't know what he meant, but then she remembered the hickey she found on her neck when she looked in the mirror of Olivia's suite. She quickly brought her hair back over her shoulder to conceal it as she blushed.  
  
"I'd ask how you got that, or rather who gave that to you, but I know. We all know."  
  
"I figured Frank had told you by now."  
  
"No, actually he didn't. I figured it out on my own. Hell, to be honest I had my doubts at the engagement party."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You couldn't take our eyes off of Olivia and she was knocking back that Champaign like a thirsty nomad who just found an oasis."  
  
"You never said anything?" Natalia asked.  
  
Buzz shrugged his shoulders. "What's to say? I did find you were a little 'off' about the whole wedding and even suggested to Frank that maybe he should take a little more time, but…"  
  
"But what?" Natalia asked.  
  
"Look," Buzz said putting his hands up. "I said too much, okay?"  
  
"No, not okay. You knew that Olivia and I were in love, didn't you? You knew before we even knew it."  
  
"I've seen Olivia in love," Buzz told her. "I know the look. And I know she adored you. I just didn't know if it was mutual." He grinned and pointed at her neck. "And obviously it is," he added.  
  
Again, Natalia blushed feeling self-conscious. Buzz looked over and saw Olivia sitting with Doris. He motioned with his hand.  
  
"And there's Dracula herself," he announced in a loud voice. Natalia looked over and immediately smiled. "Go grab a seat, Honey. I'll bring you a grilled cheese, how's that?"  
  
"Thanks," she said before she made her way over to Olivia.  
  
Olivia motioned to her lap and Natalia hesitated.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you," she replied. "I'm a lot bigger than I used to be."  
  
"I wouldn't know. I've never had you sit on me before. Come on," Olivia insisted. "Sitting next to me is too far away."  
  
"Oh god, I'm gonna be sick from all the saccharine at this table," Doris sighed.  
  
"Just because you failed to make a love connection last night is not our fault," Natalia countered.  
  
"She actually made a connection this morning," Olivia offered as Doris wiggled her eyebrows.  
  
"With who?" Natalia asked.  
  
"Blake," Olivia whispered the name in her ear.  
  
Natalia said nothing at first and then said, "Give me a break. You're making that up."  
  
Doris shook her head and said, "Nope." Natalia looked to Olivia for confirmation and she nodded too as Doris continued by saying, "I came for coffee…Then she and I came."  
  
Olivia giggled but Natalia didn't look amused. Olivia cleared her throat and pointed a finger at Doris. "Bad Doris. How dare you?"  
  
"Sure. Whatever." Doris replied. "Seriously, though, we talked politics and after it was done and over I told her to meet me tomorrow at the boarding house. Then I tossed her five bucks…"  
  
"You gave her five bucks for having sex with you?" Natalia asked, keeping her voice low. "You're a bitch." Olivia seemed taken back by the vulgarity, but didn't say anything because partly she agreed.  
  
"For the coffee, not the lay!" Doris replied in a heated whisper. "She wanted to give me the coffee, but I made a point to tell her that I'm not a democrat. I don't accept something for nothing. I'll pay my own way thank you very much."  
  
"You're such a smart ass," Natalia chuckled.  
  
"Funny," Doris commented, "your…well, whatever Olivia is…she just said the same thing about me."  
  
"Olivia is many things. She's my daughter's mother..." Natalia kissed Olivia's nose. "She's my lover…" Natalia kissed Olivia's neck just below her earlobe. "She's my everything..." Natalia finished by kissing Olivia on the lips.  
  
"I love you so much," Olivia said when she finally pulled away.  
  
Natalia smiled and stroked Olivia's face. "I love you too."  
  
Doris sighed heavily. "And I'm going into diabetic shock."  
  
Olivia and Natalia both chuckled.


	3. PART THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See Part One for Summary

**Chapter Forty-Two**  
  
Doris sat at the booth at Company with Natalia at the end. She was sitting on Olivia’s lap with her Olivia’s hands between her knees. Olivia felt Natalia stiffen for a moment and then relax. The older woman leaned back to see that Frank had walked in.  
  
"Do you want to move?" Olivia asked in an even voice.  
  
Natalia turned slightly and she cupped Olivia’s cheek.  
  
"No," she answered. "He’s going to have to get used to seeing us together. Everyone will and if they can’t take it – screw them."  
  
Olivia grinned.  
  
"I gotta say, I’m likin’ this Natalia," she replied.  
  
Natalia leaned over slightly and kissed Olivia gently on the lips.  
  
"She’s always been here – she’s been a bit dormant, but…when I’m certain about what I want I can’t be stopped. Can you live with that?"  
  
"As long as you can be with a woman who’s equally as stubborn."  
  
Natalia smiled wider. "I’m more stubborn than you are."  
  
"Proof it," Olivia challenged.  
  
"Oh, where to start? For one, you’re still alive after wishing you’d die and two, I’m in your lap after you swore we’d never be together again."  
  
Olivia considered the statement for a moment and then smiled. "Touché," she replied.  
  
They both began to cuddle and giggle at the same time.  
  
"Killjoy at 2 o’clock," Doris muttered to the pair as Frank made his way over.  
  
"Hello, ladies," he said as he arrived at the table. Both women pulled away a few inches to politely face him. Olivia grinned and raised her hand up to Natalia’s head and began stroking her hair, somewhat-possessively. "How are you doing today?" he asked.  
  
"Good," Olivia answered. "You?"  
  
Fully aware of what she was doing, she moved Natalia’s hair to one side exposing the love bite she’d left there the night before from their first lovemaking session. She smiled even wider as she noticed Frank look away somewhat nervously.  
  
"Can’t complain," he said looking at his shoes.  
  
 _Yeah_ , Olivia thought silently. _It’s exactly what you think it is on her neck Frankie – a passion mark. She’s mine – all mine – and although you might have did her first, I did her best. And I’ll be the one working her into an ardent frenzy and making her scream MY NAME every night for the rest of our lives._  
  
Olivia continued to admire Natalia’s profile as she allowed her fingers to stroke her hair.  
  
"You know you’ve always had soft hair," Olivia told Natalia. "But the pre-natal vitamins have made it super soft."  
  
"You think so? I thought it might be my imagination," Natalia said amazed.  
  
"I think I might buy some," Olivia replied.  
  
"Pre-natal vitamins?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Why? I love your hair," Natalia said as she reached up and began to put some wayward strands behind Olivia’s ear.  
  
Doris just knew the display was annoying the detective to no end. She smiled, but quickly covered her lips with her napkin under the guise of wiping her face. She knew she had to save this poor soul.  
  
"Have a seat Det. Cooper," Doris offered, patting the spot beside her.  
  
"Thank you, Doris, but I can’t stay. I just came in for a coffee – I’m on my way back to the station." He then turned to Natalia. "You mentioned something about designing the nursery or something?"  
  
"Oh! Yeah! We’re trying to hire a nursery designer for later this week. Think you’ll be around?"  
  
"A nursery designer?" Frank asked. "I figured baby’s just cared about being warm, fed and having a clean bottom," he teased.  
  
"True," Natalia answered. "But Olivia wants-."  
  
"Oh, so Olivia wants a designer," he replied, cutting her short.  
  
"You don’t have to be there, Frank," Olivia spoke up. "I just thought our daughter deserved having a nice, cozy room that grown-ups might enjoy too. That’s all. But if you can’t deal-." Olivia stopped when she felt Natalia squeeze her knee and shake her head. "I’m sorry. I don’t want to get upset here, but I’m not walking around on eggshells for you either, Frankie. So if you want to come, then come. If not, then don’t. Natalia would like you in this child’s life. And the truth is so would I, but not at the cost of being criticized by you at every turn we make. So would you like to go or not? It’s your choice."  
  
Frank released a heavy sigh. "Yes, I will be there. Just tell me the day and time."  
  
"Will do," Natalia answered.  
  
Frank nodded and walked away from the table without looking back.  
  
"Look at Mamma Bear Livie laying down the law," Doris teased. "You’re awfully cute when you’re angry." She then made a kissy face.  
  
"That wasn’t anger. I just wanted Frank to know exactly where we stand," Olivia replied. "If anything, that was just annoyance."  
  
"That’s true. I’ve seen ‘angry’," Doris remarked. "When you stormed into my office swearing you weren’t in love with Natalia, but you went on and on about how great she was…That was angry."  
  
"Nah, I wasn’t angry then," Olivia answered. "I was…perturbed…Now Reva or Alan, those two have made me angry in my life."  
  
Doris cocked her head. "So did you know then – that day you came to my office – that you were in love?"  
  
"Yeah, I think I did," Olivia answered, "but she didn’t love me."  
  
Doris paused and looked the two of them up and down as they sat wrapped in each other’s embrace. She started to grin.  
  
"You’re not real perceptive, are you?" she countered.  
  
Olivia and Natalia both grinned.  
  
"Hush up," Olivia told her.  
  
Doris chuckled.  


 **Chapter Forty-Three**  
  
"Okay," Natalia said as she steadied herself against the table, "I'm getting claustrophobic here," she added as she motioned between herself and the table, which had very little space. "Besides, my butt is starting to hurt. You've got bony knees."  
  
"Hey," Olivia replied. She grabbed Natalia's growing waistline. "Just for that I'm not letting you go."  
  
Natalia shot her a glance that made Olivia wonder if she really wanted to test her lover's patience. Being the smart woman she is, Olivia instead helped the pregnant and hormonal woman to her feet.  
  
"I think I might tell Ashlee," Doris said to no one in particular as she stared off in deep thought.  
  
"Tell Ashlee what?" Natalia asked as she motioned for Olivia to scoot down so she could slide into the booth.  
  
"About me," Doris replied.  
  
"She doesn't know yet?" Natalia asked.  
  
Instead of replying to Natalia, Doris turned to Olivia. "Do you even talk to this woman?"  
  
"Yes," Olivia answered annoyed. "But that's private stuff between us," she said, defending herself. "I didn't know if you'd feel comfortable with Natalia knowing everything."  
  
"So you kept my confidence?" Doris asked before she began to grin. "That's sweet. I never actually had…a confidant. A few friends who were girls sure, but not like, a best friend."  
  
"She's MY best friend," Natalia remarked possessively. "Hands off."  
  
"No, dear," Doris retorted. "You official crossed the line last night. And yes, you can be 'best friendly' toward each other, but you're not real best friends anymore because sex changes things."  
  
"It does not," Natalia replied.  
  
Doris just motioned with her hand and asked, "Olivia?"  
  
Natalia and Doris both looked to Olivia to reply. Trapped between two sets of eyes, she licked her lips nervously and shrugged slightly.  
  
"So you're not my best friend anymore?" Natalia asked Olivia in a sad tone.  
  
"Of course you are," Olivia insisted. She paused and then added, "But Doris has a point."  
  
"Ha!" Doris said and pointed at Natalia. Then she shook her finger for emphasis. "Told you - it's not the same now."  
  
Natalia brushed her off. "Just because sex is involved, that doesn't mean the relationship has changed," she replied. "Unless, of course, if you look at the fact I love her even more."  
  
"That's sweeeeet...but no," Doris said with a touch on condescension. "It's little things. Your best friend can tell you that the stew you made tastes awful. Your lover, however, has to smile and eat it and… make fake yummy noises."  
  
"Soooo," Natalia said thinking about the comment. "Sex makes you become a liar."  
  
Doris considered the remark. "Actually, that's a great way to put it. Yes, after you have sex you become a liar."  
  
"Now wait," Olivia said to Doris. "I won't lie to her – I might not be as brutally honest, but I wouldn't eat something I didn't like just to please her."  
  
"Yes, but right there," Doris pointed. "You even said you'd change the way you approach things because she's your lover. Right?"  
  
"Not exactly," Olivia replied.  
  
"Okay, picture this," Doris told her. "Natalia and I both make stew. Both are totally appalling. How do you tell each of us it tastes gross?" Olivia began to grin in a guilty fashion, trying not to smile. "Ah Ha! See? See what I mean?"  
  
"What?" Natalia asked.  
  
"She's right," Olivia answered. "I'd be much gentler with you than with her. With you, I'd probably suggest getting take out. With her…I'd, I don't know, suggest she call in an industrial cleaner to get rid of the toxic mess."  
  
"Thank you!" Doris laughed.  
  
"I don't want you to stop being honest," Natalia told Olivia. "I love your…snark."  
  
"Even when it's directed at you?" Olivia asked.  
  
"Especially when it's directed at me because I can be snarky then too," Natalia chuckled.  
  
"Okay so I won't spare your feelings at all then?" Olivia asked to be sure.  
  
"Well, within reason," Natalia answered.  
  
"Then what's the line that can't be crossed?"  
  
"I might look a like a huge squash, and even say I do, but you can't make jabs about my weight."  
  
"Okay," Olivia agreed. "I vote for no clothes comments."  
  
"No," Natalia replied. "I can't promise that. I mean the ugly top you have that looks like bad 1970's wallpaper is nearly as hideous as that jacket Doris wore at my 'almost' wedding."  
  
Olivia and Doris both looked at Natalia slack jawed and whined, "Hey!"  
  
"I don't have bad 1970's wallpaper clothing," Olivia said. "But you are right about Doris's jacket," she agreed.  
  
"Watch it!" Doris remarked. "That's one of my favorites. I wear it all the time."  
  
"We know – please stop," Natalia remarked. Doris pouted as Natalia then turned her sights to Olivia again. "And yes, it's that shirt you had on when you brought Emma over to make rice crispy marshmallow treats."  
  
"That's more Native American than bad 1970's wallpaper," Olivia defended.  
  
"No, I've seen the 'Santa Fe look.' That top is just…I'm surprised it didn't come with a warning that says, 'May cause epileptic fits' because really..."  
  
"So what else do I own that you find totally unappealing on me?" Olivia asked.  
  
"Nothing," Natalia replied. "You make anything look good… including bad 1970's wallpaper blouses."  
  
"Gee thanks," Olivia said sarcastically.  
  
"Really," Natalia answered sincerely. "You look sexy in anything. However, I have to admit those power suits… Wow." She gave a contented sigh. "I spent many a-night fantasizing about them…or I should say taking them off."  
  
"Which one?" Olivia asked mischievously. "I'll just make a little mental note, up here," she said pointing to her temple.  
  
"Definitely, the black pinstripe," Natalia answered immediately. "But what I like most of all is the white bodysuit you have. I've caught glimpses of it when I used to help you get dressed or undressed. I need to buy you another one…maybe something in lace this time." Natalia concluded by making a devouring noise.  
  
"And that's my cue," Doris replied. "Check please," she yelled over to Blake.  
  
 **Chapter Forty-Four**  
  
At the boarding house above Company, Doris's shoulder blades dug into the mattress when her back arched. Mangled cries of passion escaped her lips. Both women panted heavily from the physical exertion, their skin slick and glistening with perspiration.  
  
Above her, Blake supported her weight on her hands as her own hips rolled and thrust between Doris's thighs. The redhead grunted with every deep plunge. When she paused her movements and withdrew to reposition herself to her knees, Doris whimper a protest. But now in the proper position, Blake reclaimed Doris's hips and gently entered her again.  
  
From this elevation, Doris's ass rested on Blake's thighs and the younger woman had her hands free. She began to tweak Doris's nipple with one hand as the fingers of her other hand strummed Doris's clit. The dildo, sliding in and out of her sex, tickled and teased the bottom of her clit from this new stance.  
  
Loving the friction, Doris began to buck against Blake and she grunted each time the strawberry blonde pounded into her. Doris's movements were having an effect too. Each push that Doris made toward Blake sent a shockwave of pressure to Blake's clit as the dildo slapped against her. But it wasn't enough for Blake – she was hungry for more.  
  
Abandoning Doris's nipple and clitoris, Blake's hands grabbed Doris's hips and held her steady.  
  
"Put your feet flat on the bed," Blake ordered.  
  
Doris issued no argument and did exactly as Blake commanded.  
  
Blake then began to buck wildly against Doris. Rather than deep, far reaching plunges, she slid the tip of the shaft in and out of Doris about three times for every second. Her hips gyrated at an enormous rate of speed. The fast rubbing both women felt made them each cry out. Blake was shaking Doris's body so much thought that instead of one long 'ahhh' sound, it came out as a choppy, 'ah ah ah' instead. The sweat began to pour from Blake even more and salty droplets from Blake's face began to fall on Doris's torso.  
  
"Your…incredible," Doris exclaimed.  
  
"Talk to me," Blake said in strained, but quick voice. Her eyes were closed, as if trying to focus only on the physical pleasure, as her hips continued to jerk at lightening speed. "I'm so close."  
  
Doris grinned for a half second. Although Blake couldn't see it Doris's eyes darkened in desire.  
  
"You know how to screw, Baby," Doris said as her hands rested on Blake's hips. Blake, with her eyes still closed, responded with a groan. "You look so sexy – wild hair, puffy lips, taunt nipples." Blake moaned even louder and stopped her quick movements to take a short rest. Sensing the woman's exhaustion from moving so quickly Doris whispered in a hoarse voice, "Fuck me hard, Baby. Pound me into this mattress."  
  
"Oh God!" Blake cried out and then began to forcefully slap their bodies together.  
  
"That's it," Doris said, "Ride me, Baby."  
  
"Fuck!" Blake cried out as she continued to hammer into Doris.  
  
"Oh," Doris moaned and her body became even more flushed. Her toes began to curl and her breathing became more ragged. "I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"  
  
Blake could only groan at first, lost in the sensation.  
  
"Commmmmmmmmme," she said finishing Doris's sentence, who was now crying out in her own right.  
  
Blake collapsed to her hands and the mayor took the opportunity to reach out and slid her hands into Blake's sweat soaked hair. Then she quickly wrapped her legs around her lover's lower back. She wasted no time as she pulled Blake forcefully into her not once, not twice but three times, making sure to buck her own hips each time she did. With the final thrust, Doris kept Blake in place.  
  
"That was…wow," Blake said, fighting to get her breath.  
  
"You said it," Doris said as she pulled Blake down toward her, the younger woman practically collapsing in her arms. "Where did you get these wonderful toys?" Doris asked when the ability to for a complete sentence returned.  
  
Blake snuggled into Doris's shoulder and took a deep breath.  
  
"I take it you like them?"  
  
Doris pulled back slightly. "Having the tools means little without someone who knows how to use them," she complimented. "But yes, I liked them very much, as if you couldn't tell."  
  
Blake smiled broadly. "The harness I got at Playtown yesterday. When you said you wanted to come back this morning, I figured this was my one chance. I never had my college lesbian experimentation, so I figured I'd see if you were game."  
  
"Did I disappoint you?" Doris asked rhetorically.  
  
Blake smiled. "We both just came. I think you know the answer," Blake said as she nuzzled into Doris's neck.  
  
"What about the dildo?"  
  
"Oh, the dildo, well, I've had that awhile. It's pretty lifelike actually."  
  
Doris grinned. "It's been quite awhile since I had a frame of reference, but I'd have to admit you're right," she joked before she reached down and stroked it affectionately.  
  
"Better look out," Blake warned. "You keep that up and you'll get me excited again."  
  
They both smiled at each other for a long moment and until Doris said, "You're fun. I like you."  
  
"I like you too, but…"  
  
"What?" Doris asked.  
  
Blake paused for a moment. "I want more than fun, ya know? I…I want the whole package."  
  
"But I like your package," Doris said as she gave the dildo a playful tug.  
  
Blake chuckled. "Why thank you," she said trying to act bashful before looking serious again. "I just want…more."  
  
Doris gave her a sad grin. "Most women do," she replied.  
  
"What about you?" Blake asked. "I mean…I know what this is. It's not happily ever after. We were just turned on, one thing led to another and… here we are. But really… don't you ever want more? Something like Olivia and Natalia have?"  
  
Doris still held her rueful smile. "You remember when Ashlee said she couldn't do a book on me because she doesn't know me?"  
  
"It was kinda awkward, yeah," Blake confessed.  
  
"I'm not even out to Ashlee. So how can I have a real relationship with anyone?"  
  
Blake reached down and pulled the blanket over them. She didn't lie down next to Doris. Instead, she sat up and motioned for Doris to rest her head in her lap. After she did, Blake stroked her hair.  
  
"Maybe it's time Doris," she said. "Maybe then you'll be able to live openly and find a woman who's worth coming out to the world for…or at the very least, being with someone who can give you the strength to be who you are."  
  
"I wouldn't even know where to start," Doris confessed, sounding fearful.  
  
Sensing her fear, Blake tightened her hold. "Why not say, 'Ashlee, I love you and the reason I don't have a man in my life is because I'm gay' and be done with it."  
  
"You make it sound so easy," Doris replied.  
  
"There's no reason to make it complicated. Just take her to lunch this week – somewhere private like a park, and tell her the truth."  
  
"I might lose her. Then what?" Doris asked.  
  
"Think of how much you've already lost," Blake told her. "Life can be short, Doris. Don't lose more time. And if Ashlee can't handle it, if she leaves, then just remember you do have people who are your friends and love you – Olivia, Natalia…and yes, as annoying as I find you…me."  
  
Doris looked up and she had tears in her eyes. "Don't cry," Blake told her. "I've spent time with Ashlee. She doesn't strike me as homophobic. I think you'll see everything will be fine. In fact, coming out might be the best thing you ever do."  
  
"Or the worst."  
  
"You won't know until you take a chance though, will you? And like I said, you've got people who will take care of you."  
  
Doris smiled and then pulled back. Although she had a serious expression, it wasn't one that looked heartbroken or angry.  
  
"We're, uh, done here, aren't we?" Doris asked. "This isn't ever going to happen again, is it?" she added as she motioned between them.  
  
"I'm not the love 'em and leave 'em type," Blake told her. "But I'm not…gay."  
  
"You sure fooled me," Doris teased. Blake looked like she was going to say something else, but Doris put her hand on Blake's to stop her. "I get it. You're not hopelessly, helplessly in love and chances are you won't. I'm not offended."  
  
"Good," Blake replied. "Besides…I kinda have someone."  
  
"You do? Who?" Doris asked with no malice in her voice.  
  
"I don't want to say since it's, well, it's kinda embarrassing."  
  
"You met someone online?" Doris guessed instantly. Blake looked surprised. "Oh, please. Lots of people meet that way today. Do you really like him, or her?"  
  
"Him," Blake said. "At least I think it's a him. I haven't seen a picture, and he says he's a guy, but then it could be an elaborate hoax. I think he's real though. He's a little gun-shy about love since he was in love with someone who was in love with someone else. So he's nervous about relationships, but he figures maybe he needs to move on. I told him about being a young widow, and he's been very understanding and…" Blake trailed off and looked down at the two of them. "We're both still naked. Maybe I should change the subject, eh?"  
  
Doris chuckled.  
  
"Blake," she began as she stroked her face and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll never see eye to eye, but I can be a friend to you if you let me." Blake smiled wider. "So tell me more about your dream boat," she prompted.  
  
They grinned at each other.

 **Chapter Forty-Five  
  
  
** Doris seemed almost catatonic as she grabbed some sodas and stood in line at the city hall cafeteria. A million thoughts ran through her head, none of which had anything to do with the food selections in front of her.  
  
 _What if she hates me? What if Olivia and Blake are wrong and she decides she doesn't want anything to do with me? She's all I really have in the world that matters. What if-?  
  
_ She remained perfectly still, and wrapped in her doom-filled thoughts, until she felt a hand lightly tap her shoulder.  
  
"Mayor Wolfe?" a patrolman said, making her jump slightly. "I didn't mean to startle you, but you're next, Ma'am," he added politely and then pointed to the lunchroom clerk.  
  
"Sorry," she replied, sounding on edge. "I-I-I got a lot on my mind today. I'm meeting my daughter for lunch." She then turned to the lunch clerk who was looking at her expectedly. "Oh, uh, a turkey and, uh, ham please. I had these too," she said as she motioned to her tray that held the two cans of soda pop.  
  
The lunchroom worker slapped two sandwiches wrapped in butcher's paper on her tray that held the canned drinks and called out, "Next!" before he motioned her toward a cash register.  
  
Still somewhat dazed, Doris did manage to make her way to the register and make her purchase. She didn't notice that the clerk was trying to hand her back her change as she walked away; food and drinks in hand. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, the cashier pocketed the six dollars and odd cents before helping the next diner.  
  
It was hot outside, but Doris didn't notice. Besides, she was already sweating, wrapped up in her thoughts.  
  
 _She'll be okay. She'll be all right._ She thought positively _. It's a different generation, right? Not like my parents' generation; or even like mine. Her friends place more weight on how someone treats others and not just who they love. Except for Rafe, her friend, the person she sees all the time…Oh my God, what if she really is a homophobe like Rafe. No, she's not. She can't be, okay? Stop thinking that way.  
  
_ Doris looked up from her musings just in time to see she'd stepped into the crosswalk without looking both ways. She stopped dead in her tracks, foot in the air, as a car sped by her and blared its horn. She then looked left and then right and, finding it completely clear, made her way to the bleachers at the park across from her office.  
  
 _And today there are lots of women who are out. Powerful, successful women. Of course if I tell Ashlee then it won't be long until everyone knows and I'll…I'll lose the party nomination and then…Oh god, I can't do this. I can't do. I…  
  
_ "Hey Mom!" Doris heard Ashlee's voice say as she moved excited toward her.  
  
"Hey, Sweetie!" _Please still love me.  
  
_ "I can't believe this. I don't think we've ever done this," she said sounding pleasantly surprised.  
  
 _I'm sure gonna change the mood here soon_. "I know. I don't know why either. My, uh, my office being right there," Doris said pointing behind her before handing over one of the packaged sandwiches to Ashlee. "I just, uh, I don't know, I, um, I don't know why I never did it before. You just get into the habit of doing things a certain way, you know? And, um, it gets hard to break out of them, and…" _I need to quite stalling_ , "open up."  
  
"Oh, Mom," Ashlee said inspecting the sandwich, "Is there Swiss cheese on this? You know I don't like Swiss cheese," she whined.  
  
 _More proof you can't do anything right._ "I'm sorry. I didn't even know there was cheese in there. The truth is, I went to the cafeteria, and I never go there," she explained with a nervous chuckle. _Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. You're not calming down. Just say it!_ "You know that's what today's about really. Like doing things you don't usually do, ya know? Like, uh, opening up; sharing."  
  
Ashlee took a bit of her sandwich and nonchalantly asked, "Wanna share my sandwich?"  
  
 _No, no, no, no, no, no, no!_ "Oh, god. I'm not doing this right," Doris whimpered.  
  
"Doing what?" Ashlee asked oblivious.  
  
 _Okay regroup; new tactic._ "You remember the day I took you to the beach? You were seven. And, uh, you wanted to play, but I told you we had to talk first?"  
  
"Yes, yes," Ashlee recalled with a smile. "That would be the day you told me about sex."  
  
 _But not everything I wanted to tell you about it. Not everything I wanted to tell you about me. Oh God._ Doris took a deep breath. "Yeah, well, that wasn't the conversation I was planning on having with you that day?"  
  
Ashlee looked confused for a moment, but then smiled again. "Seven is a little young, but at the end of the day you didn't scar me for life," she teased.  
  
Doris smiled a genuine smile at her daughter's sense of humor. "That's good because…you know I've been trying to do that – not scar you for life; to protect you from anything that would hurt you."  
  
Ashlee looked genuinely confused again. "Mom, everything is fine. What's going on?"  
  
"Oh Ashlee," Doris sighed above a whisper. _I've been living a lie that's hurt us both._  
  
"What?"  
  
 _Here it goes. No turning back. Now or never. Just say the words_. Doris took another deep breath. "I'm a lesbian." _She's not saying anything and that look. She's…she's…_ "I'm a lesbian," Doris repeated a bit firmer. _Why is she still not saying anything? Oh no. Oh no. This was a mistake - a huge mistake…Ashlee, please don't hate me…You're my Sweetie…You're my world…And like I feared, you're walking away Please stop. I have to say something. I have to do something!  
  
_ "Did you-did you, just say you're a lesbian?" Ashlee asked with her back turned, halting her steps.  
  
 _God, I think she's going to hyperventilate. I think I'm going to hyperventilate._ "Yes…I like women," Doris said as she nervously played with her hands and took a few steps toward the younger woman.  
  
Ashlee's features hardened for a moment. _Oh, god, now she's pissed._  
  
"Mom! I know what a lesbian is!" Ashlee nearly shouted at Doris.  
  
"Look," Doris said reaching for Ashlee, who pulled away from her touch. _It's already starting._ "I have been ever since I can remember, okay?" _God, I need to sit down before I fall down_. "It just…" _God, I need to make her realize._ "I couldn't always accept it, okay?" _Don't cry. Just hold it together, Doris. Hold it together. Make her see it's okay._ "And you gotta understand it was a different time then, okay? People did not understand it they way they do now. And I didn't tell _anyone_. I just went about my business. I-I went to school. I had boyfriends. It never quite worked, ya know? It wasn't right for me. So I went to school and when I graduated, I decided to live my life the way I wanted to. And at a certain point, I wanted life to mean more so I went to a sperm back and I…got you." _Please Ashlee, don't cry. I love you more than anything._ "And you have been everything to me," Doris said not being able to hold back her tears any longer. "I remember holding your hand when you learned how to walk. We were so close. And then all of a sudden you were seven and you were asking me why didn't we have a daddy. So I took you to the beach that day to try to explain…only I chickened out. And I've been chickening out ever since. And I know that this wall developed between us. And I know it was my fault and I couldn't do anything about it and then all of a sudden you're this remarkable young woman and I AM STUCK KNOWING that I am LYING to YOU. And you're right, you don't know who I am and the reason you don't is because I haven't shared myself with you. And I am soooo sorry."  
  
 _Please say something. Please say something. Please say something._  
  
"I-I just don't understand why you don't trust me? Don't you know that I love you!?" Ashlee asked.  
  
 _I didn't want people judging you because of me. All I wanted was your happiness. Always. But I messed that up too._ "I just didn't want you to suffer. The world can be really cruel."  
  
"Mom, I know, the world is cruel. Out of anyone, I know. I know that the world is cruel. You were cruel to me. YOU were cruel."  
  
 _There's no going back is there. I've said it now. It's out. And you'll hate me for the rest of my life. Not just for this, but for everything._ Doris hung her head. _I know it probably means nothing to you but…_ "I'm really sorry."  
  
"Why couldn't you just trust me? Just trust me?" Ashlee asked as she cried.  
  
 _I gotta know if there's any hope._ "Are you ashamed of me? Are you embarrassed?"  
  
"No," Ashlee insisted. "I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. I am so angry," she said pointing, "Because you didn't love me enough to be honest with me."  
  
 _I love you Ashlee. I love you. I was trying to protect you. Don't leave please. Don't. We can make this right if you stay. We can still be a family if you listen. I know we can.  
  
_ Doris watched Ashlee snatch up her purse and turn without a word. Still not saying anything, she watched Ashlee walk away. She felt helpless and all she could do was cry.

 **Chapter Forty-Six**  
  
Doris rolled over and looked at the clock. It was nine in the morning, but she didn't care she was running late. She'd be lucky if she made it into the office at all. She slowly turned back the covers, escaping from the blankets' cocooned warmth and placed her feet on the cold, hardwood floor.  
  
She walked first to the hallway and looked into Ashlee's room. The bed was rumpled, exactly as it had been the morning before. Although she was sure she wouldn't find her daughter anywhere else, Doris still went to the kitchen and the living room to look for her.  
  
From there, she headed back to her bathroom of the master bedroom, taking off her sleeping garments as she did. She let them fall haphazardly, leaving a trail behind her as she slowly made her way to the shower. She turned on the faucet and tested the water. Turning around, she spotted her face in the vanity over the sink. Her eyes were still completely bloodshot from crying most of the night.  
  
 _Ashlee never did come home. She hates me._ With that thought, Doris began to cry again.  
  
It took her nearly an hour to get moving after her shower, but eventually Doris dressed and did her make up. She picked up her phone and pressed the programmed number.  
  
"Hey, Olivia. It's Doris…I…uh…Call me when you get this, okay?"  
  
Doris hung up and looked at the phone. She took a deep breath and then made her way out the door. Her first stop, however, wasn't her office. She went to the Beacon.  
  
Not seeing Olivia in her office, she stopped Keira and asked in a short tone, "Olivia Spencer? Where is she?"  
  
Keira was immediately put off by Doris's behavior.  
  
"Not to be disrespectful, but that's really none of your business, Mayor Wolfe. However, I will say she had personal things to handle today," she replied in a less than civil tone. "I can take a message if you like," she offered.  
  
"Useless," Doris muttered as she walked away.  
  
Her next stop was the farmhouse. She knew that things with Natalia were going well, so maybe Olivia was still 'celebrating.' When she didn't find her there she returned to her car and headed back into town.  
  
 _This is pointless. There's nothing Olivia can do_ , Doris thought as she drove along. _Why? Am I trying to find her? Hell, you know why – you've grown to love her. Really love her and you value her opinion. You need her to tell you everything will be fine, even if it's a lie. What did she call it earlier this year? A comforting lie – that's what I need. She can do that and, well, maybe keep me from totally spazing…Okay, I'm already totally spazing, but, she'll know what to do. I mean, do I go find Ashlee? Do I leave her alone? What do I do here? I don't know what to do_. Doris felt herself start to tear up again, but she pushed it down, taking a deep breath.  
  
Spotting Company she thought she'd give it a shot and pulled over. She felt like she was racing to get somewhere, but where exactly she didn't know. _It's almost like I've got no friggin' direction right now and if she's not in here-._  
  
"Olivia! I've been looking all over for you."  
  
"Why? Is everything okay?" she asked concerned.  
  
"I told Ashlee the truth…" _God, do you have to look THAT shocked?_ "…about me…"  
  
"Oh, my go-. How'd it go?" she asked hopefully.  
  
 _She's hopeful. How can she be hopeful?_ "Good, I guess. I don't know. I mean, it went okay. But she didn't say much, and, uh, then she just walked away and-and I haven't heard from her since and that was like more than a day ago. What do I do?"  
  
 _God, look how wide your eyes are. You have no idea what I should do either, do you? Shit, shit, shit._  
  
"Ah, I-I…ugh, give her-give her time… Give her time," Olivia said sounding more optimistic and assured than her first reaction showed.  
  
"Time?"  
  
"Time."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
 _This is going to be the worst mistake I've made, isn't it? But if you think so then…_ "I'm just gonna go to my office and…wait."  
  
"'kay."  
  
On the other side of town, Rafe and Daisy were at a gazebo as Ashlee departed to find Doris. Daisy had a confused expression.  
  
"Don't ask me," Rafe said before taking a drink of his water.  
  
She opened her mouth and closed it two times, but then shrugged. She then said, "Doris, huh? Is that why your mom left my Uncle Frank at the altar? She's in love with Doris Wolfe?"  
  
Rafe choked on his water for a moment.  
  
"My mom and Doris?" he chuckled.  
  
"Well, aren't they seeing each other? I mean the way Doris went on and on about love and was kinda stalling the wedding, and when you both said they were lesbians, I thought-."  
  
"Olivia," Rafe said, cutting her off. "My mom… she likes Olivia – and before you ask, yeah, Olivia likes her back."  
  
Daisy's eyebrows scrunched. "Okay, well, I'm not entirely shocked, actually," she replied.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"They seem to get along really well and they were always together when you were in jail. Plus, Emma seems really happy with them together." Rafe rolled his shoulders in discomfort. "And I take it you're not?"  
  
"I don't think it's right," he said. "Maybe for Ashlee's mom, sure. And maybe even for Olivia, if that's how she wants to be, but not my mom. That's not who she is."  
  
"Was," Daisy said flatly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'm saying maybe she wasn't gay before, but she is now, or at least she's open to finding love regardless of gender."  
  
"You don't just wake up and be gay," Rafe said growing short with her. "I know this is Olivia's fault."  
  
"What do you mean 'fault,' Rafe? Are you a homophobe?" Daisy asked incredulously.  
  
Rafe didn't answer. Instead he said, "Olivia gets into people's minds and plays tricks on them. She's playing with my Ma now and I don't like it, okay?"  
  
"You're obviously upset," Daisy said pursing her lips together. "But I just gotta ask…why are you okay with everyone else being gay, but not your mom? What is it that's really bothering you?"  
  
"We're talking about her soul here, Daisy. What she's doing is a sin?"  
  
"Are you serious?" Daisy snorted. "Look, we've sinned. I've sinned. You've sinned. We all sin and with as much as I like James, I'm sure I'll sin again, and again, and-."  
  
"I get the point," Rafe said holding up his hands. "This is different, all right?"  
  
"How?"  
  
Rafe stood up and walked to the other side of the gazebo. "It just is. Homosexuality is wrong."  
  
"Oh, please!" Daisy laughed loudly and Rafe turned around to scold her with his eyes. "You know," she continued, "I'd say you ARE a homophobe, but I don't think that's the case. I think you're making excuses that even you can't really believe at this point?"  
  
Rafe's voice faltered slightly and scratched his chest. "Maybe a little," he replied.  
  
"Then I'll ask again," Daisy said more firmly. "What's the real problem with your mom falling in love with a woman?"  
  
Rafe was quiet for a long moment and then asked, "Why does it have to be _her_? Why couldn't it be Ashlee's mom? Heck, anyone else's mom for that matter. Why _her_?"  
  
Daisy bit her lip. "Now I get it. It's not about your mom being gay. That's not it, at least not really. It's about who she loves."  
  
"Quit trying to psychoanalyze me," Rafe said annoyed.  
  
Daisy cocked her head. "Do you know everything that Olivia's done for you and your mom?" she asked. "I'm a Cooper, and although they don't tell me much, I do hear a lot at Company."  
  
"Yeah, like what?" he asked. "Getting my Ma's hopes up by suggesting some lawyer for me that she couldn't afford?"  
  
Daisy closed the distance between them. "I'll tell you a few things, but you need to promise not to tell another soul - including your mother…Can I trust you?"  
  
"You know you can."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Daisy," Rafe said shortly, but didn't add more.  
  
Daisy looked at him a moment longer as if sizing him up.  
  
"According to my grandpa, Olivia put off going to the hospital when she was having chest pains to save your mom's virtue from 'said sleazeball lawyer'."  
  
"What? I don't understand."  
  
"Your mom couldn't afford his rates and she wouldn't take any money from Olivia, although she offered. But the lawyer was willing to make a deal…he'd represent you if she slept with him."  
  
"What?" Rafe said starting to pace.  
  
Daisy nodded. "Olivia got wind of the 'trade' and rushed from Cedars to get to the lawyer's office before your mom could go through with it." Rafe's mouth hung open. "But since you're already shocked, let's not stop there," Daisy teased. "You know that house your mom got eighty grand for from the state? Olivia was going to give Gus's house to the two of you – free and clear, but your mom wouldn't have it. So after paying off the entire mortgage Olivia told your mom she'd sell it to her for only ten grand."  
  
Rafe began to shake his head. "She was just trying to manipulate my mother."  
  
"Come on Rafe," Daisy told him. "Frank had you moved to the library at prison, but it was Olivia who got you moved to a safer prison altogether. And according to Ashlee, who will kill me if she knows I told you, her mom helped you too because of Ashlee's friendship with you AND hers with Olivia."  
  
Rafe looked flabbergasted. "How so?"  
  
"Doris got you an early release from prison AND she got you the job at the hardware store after talking to the owner so you didn't end up back at the halfway house. So without Olivia's connections, well, let's face it, you'd probably still be doing time."  
  
"All the more proof that she just wanted my mom to see-."  
  
"Your mom doesn't know. So how could Olivia be scoring points?" Daisy replied. "And since your mom doesn't know, it's just another reason why this conversation never happened between us. Got it!" she said waving a finger at him playfully. But then she wore a sober expression. "Your mom went to bat for me. She believed in me, even after all the mistakes I made. And she improved my relationship with my family…So you can hate her if you like Rafe, but believe it or not, I love your mom because she's a good person who can spot the goodness in others."  
  
Rafe began to tear up. "I love her too. I just don't love what she's doing."  
  
Daisy walked over and took his face in her hands.  
  
"Consider this…Did she ever turn her back on you when she didn't like what you've done?" she asked.  
  
"No," he said softly.  
  
"Maybe you should show her the same respect? And maybe, just maybe, you could take some time to get to know Olivia, and not just the memories you have of her? She must have some special, redeeming qualities if she's won your mom over, right?"  
  
Rafe ran his fingers through his hair. Then he tried to use his arms to cocoon himself, as he did often when he was nervous.  
  
"I don't know where to start," he answered, sounding almost like a scared child.  
  
Daisy squeezed his arm in support.  
  
"Well, I overheard them talking at Company a little while ago. Olivia and Emma's moving back into the farmhouse today so maybe you could lend a hand?"  
  
Rafe shook his head. "She's really gonna do this, isn't she? She's gonna build a life with Olivia." It was less of a question, and more as a statement, as if it had final registered that his mother wasn't just having a fling or an experiment.  
  
Daisy simply nodded. "She seems really happy, Rafe."  
  
A brief silence passed between them as Rafe considered her words. _That's all I ever wanted, wasn't it?_ he considered. _For her to have a life of her own. To have someone to take care of her. Someone to make her smile...Olivia does make her smile, doesn't she? Heck, she's even taken Ma back after not talking to her for over a month. She's willing to raise this child too that they didn't plan... Maybe Daisy's right and I gotta take some steps here...starting today._  
  
"Well," he sighed, "will you be there too? I could use a little extra morale right now. I can't say I'm okay with this, but…I have to find a way to deal, don't I? I gotta try to make it work, huh?"  
  
Daisy pulled him into a hug and stood there for a few moments. Then she pulled back and said, "Come on. Let's go make it work…together."  
  
Rafe smiled and darted over to grab Ashlee's abandoned lunch before they both made their way from the gazebo.  
  
 **Chapter Forty-Seven**  
  
Olivia and Emma’s boxes had long been moved back in the house. After Rafe’s baseball victory over Frank, the teams sat down for a family style spaghetti dinner at the picnic table. Josh and the older kids had all gone home, or to various locations, with only three adults remaining – Blake, Frank and Doris – who were drinking wine on the back porch with Olivia. The red and orange hues were nearly gone from the horizon as night began to take hold around them.  
  
Frank yawned, trying to stay awake.  
  
Doris chuckled lightly. "Oh no, Chief. No yawning. The night is still young," she said, slapping his arm. "Besides, you need to get used to getting up at all hours. No sleep for you."  
  
"Exactly, I need to conserve my energy for when the baby’s here," he remarked as he rose up. "Really, though, I do need to get going."  
  
"Sure you don’t want another?" Olivia said holding up the nearly empty wine bottle.  
  
"I need to avoid getting arrested," Frank replied with a grin.  
  
"Come on – have another one. You can take the sofa tonight," Olivia offered.  
  
Natalia looked over at her lover incredulously, as if she had a third eye growing out of her forehead.  
  
"I’ll pass," Frank said. "I don’t have the luxury of running my own business like you. I do need to be at work."  
  
"Actually, that’s not true," Olivia countered. "You’re the BOSS now." She then turned to Doris and said, "Speaking of which, what happened to your cousin, Chief Wolfe?"  
  
"Who the hell knows?" she shrugged. "He was always flighty – ask Frank."  
  
Frank didn’t agree, but he did grin broadly, which was enough of an agreement for those sitting there.  
  
"I'd better go too, since you’re my ride," Blake popped up.  
  
"Now you’re making everyone leave," Olivia said, tossing his baseball mit at him, which he managed to catch.  
  
"I can take you home if you want to stay awhile longer," Doris offered Blake.  
  
A short, but pointed silence, passed between them as they looked at one another.  
  
"Thanks for the offer, but I really do need to call it a night," she replied.  
  
"Natalia, dinner was wonderful," Frank told her. "Thank you."  
  
"Yes," Blake agreed. "Thank you."  
  
"No, thank you," the Latina insisted. "You guys were a godsend, truly. We appreciate the help."  
  
"'Night, Olivia," Frank said with a wave, which Blake mimicked.  
  
Olivia waved back and watched them walk up the sidewalk to the driveway where Frank’s car awaited them.  
  
Once they were out of earshot, Olivia said to Doris, "It’s too bad it didn’t work out for you two."  
  
"I keep telling you, but you don’t seem to listen. I’ll never have what you have because what you two have is rare," Doris said, pointing between Olivia and Natalia. "So you damn well better hold on it."  
  
"I intend to," Natalia answered and took Olivia’s hand in hers giving it a squeeze. She then stood up and went over to the picnic table emptying the half full glasses into the grass.  
  
Doris downed the rest of her wine. "I should get going too," she replied.  
  
"NO!" Olivia said a little too insistently, making both Doris and Natalia raise their eyebrows. "Stay. You don’t have to go."  
  
"You seem pretty desperate to keep me here," Doris replied. "If you’re looking for a, ahem, third wheel, I’m not that kind of girl." She began to grin deviously. "Well, two beautiful women like you? Okay, maybe just this once," she added jokingly and blew Olivia a kiss.  
  
Natalia smiled and picked up the three empty bottles of wine and headed toward the house.  
  
"I’m not gonna touch that. I’ll just clean up instead," she said before making her way inside.  
  
Doris stood up and stretched and Olivia shot to her feet, coming within a few inches of Doris. She looked over her shoulder to make sure Natalia was gone.  
  
"You can’t leave," she whispered nervously.  
  
Doris looked confused. "W-why?"  
  
"Because Natalia is going to expect me to sleep with her. She said moving in would mean… _moving in_ …ya know?"  
  
Doris looked even more confounded. "Yeah? And?"  
  
"And I’m not sure if I’m ready yet," Olivia replied.  
  
"I thought you already slept with her?"  
  
"I did. At the Becon. Just not…here."  
  
Doris wasn’t following Olivia’s line of logic, but then she got a look of realization.  
  
"Wait a minute." She began to giggle. "This isn’t about the farmhouse. It’s about Emma, isn’t it?" Olivia rubbed her neck and shoulder, but didn’t answer. "You’re worried she’ll hear you guys?"  
  
Olivia looked over her shoulder to see if Natalia was still gone.  
  
"I’ve never had sex like this with anyone, let alone when my daughter was nearby. What if she hears us and what if…"  
  
Doris giggled. "What if she thinks her two mommies are killing each other?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Doris laughed out loud. "Oh, to have your problems, Olivia."  
  
"I’m being serious here. How did you manage it with Ashlee?"  
  
"Easy. I never brought a woman home."  
  
"So you have no advice for me then?"  
  
"None."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Glad I could help." Doris gave Olivia a chipper smile, although the hotelier wore a frown and began to pace. "I’m teasing," Doris said sympathetically. She then took Olivia by the arm to stop her nervous movements. "Why don’t you just talk to Natalia? Be honest. Tell her your reservations."  
  
"I’m actually pretty tired too," Olivia confessed.  
  
"That’s not an excuse, is it?" Doris raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Not tonight dear I've got a headache."  
  
"No, I really am. It’s been a crazy day. I woke up in my hotel this morning, and tonight I’m going to bed, in our home, with the woman I love." A content smile came over Olivia’s face. "I wanted this – and I still do, but, I’m scared… I just don’t want to…"  
  
The sound of the screen door closing made Olivia and Doris turn to see Natalia coming back outside.  
  
"Uh, oh," Natalia said as she came over to pick up the recycled paper plates and nearly empty fruit salad bowl. "What don’t you want to do?" she asked.  
  
"And that’s my cue," Doris replied.  
  
Natalia’s back was to the duo as she continued cleaning up the picnic table. In doing so, she failed to see Olivia reaching wildly for Doris’s arm to make her stay. She stretched out as if Doris’s appendage was a lifeline, but she still came up short.  
  
"I’ll see you gals later," Doris called from the sidewalk. "Dinner was great, Natalia. I don’t cook, but let’s do Towers next week. My treat."  
  
"Goodnight Doris." Natalia waved. She watched until Doris was in her car and the engine had started. Then Natalia pivoted on her heels to face Olivia, who was looking nervous.  
  
"Again, what don’t you want to do?" Natalia asked. "Are you having second thoughts about moving in?"  
  
"No! Why would you say that?"  
  
Natalia grinned slightly. "Oh, I don’t know," she began sarcastically. "Besides you inviting Frank to sleep over and asking Doris for a ménage a trios? What the heck is going on?"  
  
"I did NOT ask Doris for a threesome – she assumed."  
  
"Honestly, that doesn’t worry me as much as Frank. I’m sure he’ll make some gal very happy someday, but not me, or you, so really, offering him our sofa is out of the question. Tell me, what the heck is it, Liv? Why can’t you be alone with me?"  
  
Olivia took a deep breath and in an almost rapid fire she said, "I desire you so much and Emma’s never known me to be sexual with anyone. Let’s face it – Phillip was nuts when she was a baby, and she was still pretty young when Bill was around and the same with Buzz too and with them, I didn’t…shout like I do with you. I mean my God woman!" Natalia raised a disapproving finger. "Sorry, my goodness…the things you do to me, the things I do to you, the things we do to each other."  
  
"It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?" Natalia asked as one hand grabbed Olivia’s hip while the other one worked its way into her hair pulling her closer until their lips were mere inches apart. "Go on. You were saying," Natalia replied softly, her breath tickling Olivia’s lower lip.  
  
Olivia didn’t wait for more of an invitation. She took possession of Natalia’s mouth passionately and the younger woman began to match her stroke for stroke. She felt Natalia’s hand work its way down her neck and over her breast, stopping briefly to tweak the erect nipple it found. Olivia groaned and pulled Natalia closer as their tongues danced around each other. The next sensation that Olivia registered was Natalia’s fingers sliding between her brown t-shirt and the waistband of her jeans. She then noticed that her shirt was started to make its way north as Natalia pulled it from its’ confines of her body.  
  
"Okay, we need to slow down," Olivia said trying to regroup. She took Natalia’s hand, guiding her shirt back down.  
  
"Olivia, we’ve already slept together."  
  
"That’s what Doris said," Olivia muttered.  
  
"What?" Natalia asked, not quite understanding what she said.  
  
"I’m just worried about Emma. She might hear us," she answered in a louder voice.  
  
"With the way you yell, probably," Natalia chuckled.  
  
Olivia just sighed. "Point is, she might not understand why her parents are moaning. Besides, the interior doors don’t even have locks. What if she walks in and finds us…you know..."  
  
"Having mind-blowing sex?" Natalia asked casually.  
  
Olivia’s hands went to her hips, more in disbelieve than in defiance. "How can you be so cavalier about this?"  
  
"How can you be such a prude?" Natalia countered as she laughed.  
  
"I’ve been called lots of things over the years, but prude is not one of them," Olivia replied, chuckling too.  
  
"Well, I can’t say I’m worldly. For goodness sake, I just had my first orgasm this week and I’d like to have many more of them if that’s okay with you. Are you saying we’re never going to have sex again?"  
  
"No, not never," Olivia said nervously. "Just until Emma goes off to college in eight years." Olivia gave a short laugh, but Natalia didn’t look amused. "I’m joking… I just…" Olivia took a deep breath to regroup her thoughts. "I’m worried about scaring her. Like I said, she’s never seen me as a…sexual person… and really, she doesn’t think in those terms – my two mommies? Hello!"  
  
Natalia chuckled again. "She is turning ten in a couple of months, right?" Olivia nodded. "How about this? I really, really want to make love to you at all the places we fell in love and we've already got the Beacon covered."  
  
Olivia held up her hand, as she got a far off look of total desire on her features.  
  
"My office," she replied, fixated on the idea. She shook her head and then looked back at Natalia. "I really want to do it in my office," she added hopefully.  
  
"You’re such a naughty girl," Natalia said wiggling her eyebrows.  
  
"You love it," Olivia leaned down and whispered.  
  
"You know it," Natalia said. She snagged Olivia’s earlobe for just a moment before pulling back. "But you’re distracting me. Where was I?"  
  
"Tomorrow’s plans."  
  
"Oh yeah, tomorrow, we buy all new doorknobs; with locks. Then we have the Tarzan/Jane and Jane/Jane talk with Emma?"  
  
Olivia chortled.  
  
Natalia stroked Olivia’s face in encouragement. "We can do this factually, but delicately. That doesn’t mean we draw Emma a diagram of what we do…or things I’d like to do that we haven’t tried yet…" Natalia gave her a very deep and wanton laugh.  
  
Olivia found herself involuntarily matching the rich tone with her own laughter. "There’s my little devil," the older woman said with a seductive smile.  
  
"I told you that you don’t know the half of it," Natalia said in a breathy whispered. "You’ve unleashed a beast, Sweetie. But before I get myself too worked up…"  
  
"Us – get US worked up," Olivia clarified.  
  
Natalia smiled. "Yes, before that, why don’t we call it a night? Just cuddles because – despite the lack of door locks – I don’t think I’d be in peak performance tonight anyway. I’m freakin' exhausted to be honest."  
  
Olivia beamed. "I've never met anyone I'm more in sync with...I love you so much, you know that?"  
  
"I know because you’re here and you want to be here. Even after all the pain I caused you…"  
  
Natalia began to hang her head in shame, but Olivia took her gently by the chin with her fingertips and raised her head so they could look eye-to-eye.  
  
"Don’t…"  
  
Natalia looked like she might open her mouth but instead she just smiled and leaned up to give Olivia a kiss, which she happily accepted.

 **Chapter Forty-Eight**  
  
Dawn had just begun to break. Olivia was curled up in bed, lying on her right side, with her eyes closed. A grin formed on her full lips when she felt Natalia's arm snake around her stomach. Still lying with her eyes closed, she gave a content sigh as she felt Natalia's growing tummy pressed against her back.  
  
The sound prompted Natalia to tighten her hold and move closer. This time, in addition to moving her body closer to Olivia's, she let her nose nuzzle into Olivia's hair until her lips and tongue found the bare flesh of the older woman's neck. After a few nips, she pulled back slightly.  
  
"Every inch of you tastes absolutely delicious," Natalia said softly.  
  
Olivia smiled and smoothly rolled around, her lips taking possession of Natalia's neck.  
  
"Hmm," she hummed against the Latina's tan skin. "I could get used to waking up this way every morning."  
  
Natalia giggled slightly and finally said, "Good morning."  
  
"Great morning," Olivia countered. She then rolled Natalia completely on her back and placed her thigh between hers to hold the pregnant woman in place. "But let's make it even better," she said as she rolled her hips so their centers connected.  
  
Natalia instinctively reached down and grabbed Olivia by the buttocks and pulled her closer as she arched her pelvis toward her. After three strokes, Natalia reluctantly released Olivia.  
  
"Enough teasing," she reprimanded.  
  
"Who's teasing?" Olivia said as she nibbled on Natalia's earlobe.  
  
"Liv? Emma? Remember?"  
  
"Right – door locks," she said with a hint of frustration.  
  
Suddenly, the door opened and Emma barreled inside. The young girl stopped in her tracks though when she saw her mom lying on top of Natalia, pinning her to the bed. A look of confusion with a hint of shock settled on her young features.  
  
"Emma," Natalia said politely, but firmly. "What did we say about coming in without knocking first?"  
  
Emma thought for a moment. "Don't do it."  
  
"That's right. So go outside, close the door and try it again." When Emma didn't move immediately she added, "Go on."  
  
Once Emma was gone, Olivia and Natalia tried to hold back their laughter.  
  
"Thank God it wasn't worse." Olivia remarked.  
  
"Olivia," Natalia chastised.  
  
"I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain," she defended. "I'm really saying, "Thank God."  
  
A small knock came to the door.  
  
Olivia opened her mouth, but Natalia put her finger over it.  
  
"Who is it?" Natalia asked.  
  
Emma's sigh could be heard from the other side of the door and both women again tried not to laugh. "You already know. It's Emma."  
  
"What did you need, Emma?" Natalia asked as she made her way out of bed.  
  
"I want to come in," she replied.  
  
"One second," she replied as she put on her robe. "Okay, you can come in now." This time Emma opened the door slowly. "You did that really good and that wasn't so hard, was it?" Natalia said proudly.  
  
"I wanted to see if you guys were going to make breakfast since Natalia said I can't do it alone," she told them. "It's almost nine, but I did start some coffee."  
  
"You started the coffee?"" Olivia asked surprised, still bundled up in bed.  
  
Emma nodded. "It's not like cooking, so please don't yell at me. I've already gotten into trouble once today."  
  
Natalia snorted and coughed slightly to stifle her laughter.  
  
"Honey, you're not in trouble," Natalia said sympathetically. "It's just that things are different now that you've come back. Your mom and I…" she trailed off and looked to Olivia silently asking if 'now' was a good time for 'the talk'. Olivia didn't offer any support other than an encouraging nod that told her to keep going. "We're not just best friends, we're lovers too. That means…" Natalia paused as she searched for a way to continue.  
  
"I know what it means," Emma said not giving Natalia a chance to continue. "It means you guys have sex." She paused for a moment and then asked, "Right?"  
  
"So you know about sex, Jellybean?" Olivia asked.  
  
"Well, yeah!" Emma said. "In a few years I'll be a teenager, Mom."  
  
"So you know that a man and a woman have different…parts?" Olivia asked. "They each have different…peepee's."  
  
It was clear that everyone in the room was growing uncomfortable with the topic, but the older women seemed to be at a loss of what to say.  
  
Emma nodded and held up her hands as if begging her to stop. "You mean a man has a penis and a woman has a vagina. I get it."  
  
Olivia and Natalia looked at Emma slack jawed, then at each other and then back at Emma again.  
  
"That's right, Baby," Olivia remarked. "But how did you…?"  
  
"I watched National Geographic channel. They had a show about conpetion. No! Wait! Conception. Sperm leaves the penis during the sex act, and it fertilizes an egg in the woman and nine months later you have a baby. That's what you and Frank did, right Natalia?"  
  
Natalia folded her arms across her chest in embarrassment.  
  
"Yes," Natalia said with a short nod. "Yes, it is."  
  
"And how many months have you been pregnant?" Emma asked.  
  
Natalia's jaw tightened. "Six months."  
  
"So that means you must have had sex with Frank…" Emma paused as she counted the time backward. "Around February, right?"  
  
"You're too smart for your own good," Natalia said with a slight laugh.  
  
"I do have a question though," Emma said.  
  
"What's that?" Olivia asked.  
  
"Since neither of you have a penis, how do you have sex?" Emma first looked to Olivia and then looked over to Natalia.  
  
Natalia, in turn, looked to Olivia and said, "Mom? You wanna field this one?"  
  
Olivia did chuckle at that point.  
  
"Well, 'Bean, sex – at least for me and Natalia – is an expression of all the love we have. It's our way of showing each other we want to spend the rest of our lives together, raising our family. It's a lot of kissing, cuddling, and stroking – just like a man and woman do. The difference is we can't make a baby and sometimes when we're really happy, and enjoying the cuddling, you might hear us make sounds."  
  
"What kind of sounds?" Emma asked concerned.  
  
Olivia paused to think of a good analogy that wouldn't scar the child for life.  
  
"Oh! I know! It's a bit like when you take the first bite of a really good hot fudge sundae," she told her. "If someone didn't see you eating the sundae, they might actually think you're hurt because of the yummy moan you make sounds like you're kinda in pain."  
  
Olivia seemed to run out of words to say and turned to Natalia with a pleading expression.  
  
"Right!" Natalia agreed, "And we mention this because there might be times you hear us expressing our love for each other. We just don't want you to be worried and think someone's hurt. I would never let anything bad happen to your mommy, and she wouldn't let anything bad happen to me."  
  
Emma gave a nod and then asked, "So is that what you were doing this morning when I came in?" Emma asked. "Is that why I got kicked out?"  
  
Again, Olivia and Natalia shared a glance.  
  
"Yes and no," Natalia answered, and Olivia seemed thankful for not having to field the question. "While it's true I totally love your mother and love her kisses-."  
  
"Ewww. You get germs that way," Emma interrupted.  
  
"I don't mind your Mom's germs," Natalia remarked with a slight chuckle. "And believe it or not Jellybean, someday you'll find someone whose germs you can tolerate." She tussled Emma's hair. "The point is everyone in this house needs more privacy so from now on if a door is closed, we all knock."  
  
"My door too?" Emma asked.  
  
"Yep," Natalia answered. "We have to knock first. And starting today, every door will have a lock to use as we wish."  
  
"That's cool!" Emma answered.  
  
"It is," Natalia agreed. "However, since we are the grown-ups we do retain the right to open your door if you're late for school or if there's an emergency."  
  
"Think you can live with the new house rules?" Olivia asked. Emma nodded enthusiastically. "Okay, go get dressed then. We'll go out to eat and then go going doorknob shopping." Emma ran from the room, heading back to hers.  
  
Natalia blew out a breath of relief and satisfaction. She took a seat next to Olivia, who was still wrapped up in the sheets.  
  
"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Natalia then rubbed her belly. "Just think, the next time we have to do it will be another decade or so."  
  
Olivia smiled devilishly. "No, next time we get big sister Emma to give the talk."  
  
Natalia swatted at Olivia playfully.

 **Chapter Forty-Nine**  
  
Doris walked into Company to see Rebecca dining alone at one of the tables along the wall. She smiled as she made her way over.  
  
"Hey, just the lovely lady I wanted to see," Doris told her as she took a seat.  
  
Rebecca's hand shot out so fast that Doris didn't have time to react before the palm came crashing against her cheek. The sound of the slap reverberated through the nearly vacant restaurant. Although there were only two other diners in the restaurant, they turned to the noise to see a shocked Doris and a mightily pissed off Rebecca.  
  
"Oooookay," Doris said rubbing her cheek. "Did I miss something?"  
  
"Jamanda? Really?" Rebecca asked in a hushed tone.  
  
"She told you?"  
  
"No, I overheard her talking to her friend about you when we were changing shifts. You're a piece of work you know that? You stroll into Towers and just pick up the day bartender AND the night bartender so you're never alone, huh?"  
  
Doris seemed at a loss of what to say. "I like you both."  
  
Rebecca stared at her blankly for a moment. "She's your daughter's age for cryin' out loud!" she said in a heated whisper.  
  
Doris sighed. "Technically, no. Ashlee's about a decade younger." Rebecca looked unimpressed with the responses. "That's not what you wanted to hear, is it?" Doris said unsure if she should add more.  
  
Rebecca shook her head. "So you were just going to keep sleeping with both of us?"  
  
Doris licked her lips nervously. "You know… I never said we were exclusive."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Rebecca said sarcastically, in a low voice. "I just ASSUMED since we SLEPT with each other that meant something to you."  
  
"It did. I really enjoy your company," Doris remarked sincerely. "That's why I was going to ask you to the Lewis wedding tomorrow... as my date. Are you off work? We could put this ugliness behind us. After all, it means free food and drink," she added to try to lighten the mood.  
  
Rebecca smiled without merriment. It was more a look of preposterousness.  
  
"You're asking me on a date?" Rebecca began, "In Springfield? With other people watching?"  
  
Doris nodded. "I came out to Ashlee. She knows and I'm sure pretty the rest of the town will know soon enough as a result, so…I thought I'd see if you wanted to go with me."  
  
Rebecca laughed sardonically. "You want me...a woman who's in the closet…to go on a date to a huge wedding where they'll talk about love and fidelity…with you, a woman who can't commit to me?"  
  
Direct and honest seemed to be the best approach Doris figured. "I was hoping so, yeah," she replied.  
  
Rebecca's jaw tightened.  
  
"Go to hell," she said as she grabbed her purse from the back of the chair and darted out the door.  
  
Doris just sat there for a moment and then felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Buzz standing there.  
  
"You know, even _'I'_ could feel that slap," he offered sympathetically, "and I was all the way behind the counter," he added as he pointed behind him. "Not one of your happier constituents I take it?"  
  
"What on earth ever gave you that idea, Buzz?" Doris laughed. "Oh, boy," she sighed. "Is it your cigarette break yet?" she asked.  
  
He gave her a knowing smile and yelled, "Tammy! Watch the floor for me, Hun!" He then motioned at Doris to follow him.  
  
Moments later, they both sat on the steps of Company. Doris had one of Buzz's cigarettes perched between her lips as he lit it for her. She took a long drag and blew it out slowly.  
  
"Last time I saw you, I was setting up shots," Buzz said as he then lit his own cigarette. "Now it's these," he said holding his up for inspection. "What's going on with you?"  
  
"Remember how I told Ashlee a big truth about me?" Buzz nodded. "The big truth is...I'm gay," she said quickly and then waited for his reaction.  
  
Buzz paused a moment and then began to laugh and Doris puffed harder.  
  
"No! No, don't be offended," he told her putting a hand on her knee. "I'm not laughing at you. It's the fact that it seems every beautiful woman in Springfield is either gay or taken. And now I don't think there's any kid, except for maybe Daisy and James, who has straight parents." He chuckled again slightly and took a drag. As he blew it out he asked, "It's not something in the water, is it? Because I'm-I'm amazed and delighted beyond belief to have Lillian, and I don't want to end up with someone like, Alan."  
  
The two of them chuckled.  
  
"I think you're safe," Doris told him. "I was a lesbian long before it was 'cool' and everyone else jumped on board."  
  
Buzz scratched his head nervously. "I gotta ask…you and Olivia..."  
  
"Just friends," Doris answered immediately.  
  
"Well, I see you guys hanging out a lot, and…I thought maybe..."  
  
"No, she's…She's a very strong and brave woman. I respect that and I'd go so far as to say I love those qualities. But, no, she's…" Doris looked reluctant to go on. Finally, she said, "This is a very awkward conversation to have with you."  
  
"Because it involves Natalia, who was with Frank?"  
  
"Yes," Doris replied and took another hit.  
  
Buzz waved her off. "Water under the bridge. Besides…I knew something was off before the wedding."  
  
"Well, not to disrespect your son in the slightest, but the two of them were in love way longer than Natalia and Frank even dated."  
  
"No, I know. I've…I've been lucky enough to find all-consuming love during my lifetime…so I see it. Natalia never had that with Frank… but when she looks at Olivia…Yeah, it's there and...it's reciprocated because Olivia adores her. I even told Olivia recently that the last time I saw her that happy was when she and I were together…In the end though, it worked out for both of us. If I'd married Olivia, she might have missed Natalia, and I'd have missed Lillian. I think we both got a better deal," he added with a wink.  
  
Buzz and Doris both took hits on their cigarettes.  
  
"I'm not sure I'll ever find that," Doris confessed.  
  
"Well, judging by that slap…not with her."  
  
Doris laughed in response. "Again, what tipped you off?"  
  
Buzz reached and touched Doris's face. "I don't know – that imprint of a palm and four fingers for one." Doris looked concerned for her appearance. "I'm teasing," he reassured her. "It's hardly red anymore."  
  
Again, they each took a hit and blew it out slowly.  
  
"I asked her to Billy Lewis's wedding," Doris explained. "But there _is_ someone else I'd like to ask. She's…she is a bit younger than me…by at least 20 years," Doris said while 'coughing' the age difference.  
  
"Twenty years?" Buzz asked.  
  
"Around…yeah," she replied guiltily. "Do you think it's…tawdry…or…I don't know… depraved?"  
  
Buzz gave her an incredulous and dumbfounded look. "O-olivia? Hello?" he said motioning with his hands.  
  
"Well, yeah, but you're not THAT much older, are you?"  
  
"I'm a lot older than I look, and I act much younger than I am sometimes – just ask any of the women in my life." Doris smiled and took a puff of her cigarette. "I say if you like her, then go for it."  
  
"Truth is, I only asked Rebecca first because she's older. Well, that, and the fact I can already hear the comments Olivia will make if I take Jamanda."  
  
"Haven't you spent enough time not following your heart's desire?" Buzz asked. He patted her knee and stood up. He walked over to the ashtray and snuffed it out.  
  
Doris looked over her shoulder and asked, "Would you vote for me, Buzz, an open lesbian?"  
  
"No," he answered. Doris looked defeated. "But not because you're a lesbian. I just don't believe in your party and the games they play. Maybe you could run as an independent – be your own woman for once?"  
  
"I've got money, but not that much money. When you win the party nomination you get cash for the campaign."  
  
Buzz smiled. "Good thing that, one, it's tough to unseat an incumbent, and, two, you've made some rich friends this year... Something to think about."  
  
As Buzz made his way inside, Doris considered his words.

 **Chapter Fifty**  
  
The wedding attendants were slowly starting to gather around at various places at the boat club. Olivia and Natalia were talking softly and looking out the large bay window when they noticed someone they both recognized from Towers.  
  
"Hey Jamanda," Olivia greeted with a smile as the young woman walked up to them. In the slight distance, Olivia watched as Doris and Ashlee talked and then began hugging.  
  
"Hello, Olivia," she said with a smile. "Natalia," she added politely with a nod, which Natalia returned. She looked left and then right. "We're all alone here. Is this the lesbian corner of the room or what?" she joked.  
  
"Not until Doris get here." Olivia ribbed. "Then they can say they corralled all the dykes in one place."  
  
Jamanda's smile widened.  
  
"You're horrible," Natalia chuckled as she playfully swatted Olivia's arm.  
  
"Yeah, but you're still laughin'," Olivia countered as she reached for her purse with a smile.  
  
"You guys are hoot," Jamanda replied and then turned to see Doris return and take her by the upper arm. "Hey, everything okay?" she asked with a hopeful smile. "With Ashlee, I mean? You weren't there very long."  
  
"She's okay," Doris said with a nod and a huge smile. "Better than okay, actually. She said she's happy."  
  
"You look happy too, my friend," Olivia remarked.  
  
"I am," Doris said with a firm nod. "Good friends, a beautiful date, a child who's still speaking to me." Immediately, Doris cringed at her last words and looked at Natalia. "I am so sorry. Sometimes words enter my head and leave my mouth and -."  
  
"It's fine." Natalia reassured her. "Things are getting better – not great, but better."  
  
"Emma's delight seems to equal Rafe's disappointment," Olivia offered.  
  
"That's why we've decided that, between the two of them, they balance each other out - so it's not as terrible or as wonderful as we like, but we're getting there," Natalia added. "Besides you should be happy that your coming out to Ashlee has gone smooth for the most part, Doris. I think the way I handle things with Rafe ended up being far worse," she added as she pointed toward Rafe, Emma and Ashlee, who were in the serious thrall of a tickle fight.  
  
Jamanda looked confused and pointed behind her. "The guy with Ashlee is Rafe? Doris told me about…his difficulty with you guys," she said nervously, as if maybe she wasn't supposed to have known.  
  
"It's okay," Natalia reassured her. "No more secrets. Everyone knows about us now, and if they don't then I'm sure they will after today." Natalia leaned over and kissed Olivia without reservation or concern, which Olivia happily reciprocated. "What about you though?" she asked. "Showing up on the Mayor's arm is sure to cause some buzz for you."  
  
"Oh, I'm out," Jamanda replied casually. "Since high school, actually."  
  
"So when was that?" Olivia asked as a devilish grin formed on her face. "Like two years ago?"  
  
Although Jamanda grinned Natalia said, "Ignore her lack of manners," as she sternly faced Olivia.  
  
"Oh, ha, ha, Spencer," Doris remarked. "You get one age joke today and that was it."  
  
Jamanda put her hand on Doris's arm. "That's okay. I expected as much."  
  
"That's code for I warned her about you," Doris remarked.  
  
"In your defense, Olivia," Jamanda said, "Doris put off asking me out because of the age difference. She was worried that I'd be upset being seen with a woman of...what did you call it?... advancing years?" Jamanda didn't wait for a response from her lover. "But I don't care because power is sexy. No one else can say they're with the most powerful woman in Springfield."  
  
Doris leaned down and kissed Jamanda softly on the lips. She didn't turn around, but she could feel two waiters behind them whispering to one another. Olivia spotted the gossiping 'help' and nodded toward them. "No turning back now," Olivia told her.  
  
Doris took Jamanda's hand. "I honestly don't care at this point. Let 'em talk."  
  
"So…not to pry, but..." Natalia said anxious, as if afraid to ask. "How long have you been…?"  
  
"Out?" Jamanda asked as finished her thought. Natalia nodded shyly. "About 12 years. I came out not long after my sixteenth birthday and about a day later my parents decided it would be best if I didn't live there anymore."  
  
"They kicked you out?" Natalia asked in a small voice.  
  
"Yeah, I came home from school and my stuff was packed in boxes in the living room, but I ended up only taking what I could carry."  
  
"That's a horrible feeling, isn't it?" Natalia asked. Almost protectively, Olivia began to rub Natalia's back. "The people that you think will always be there no matter what - the only support system you've ever really known - just, turning their back like that is…" Natalia trailed off, unable to continue.  
  
"You came out as a teenager too?" Jamanda asked.  
  
"Oh no, I wasn't gay. But being a catholic, well, I was just as 'bad' in my parents' eyes, since I was pregnant with Rafe. So the whole sixteen, scared and alone thing… I've done that."  
  
"At the time, I hated it - like you said, everything I ever knew was instantly stripped away." Jamanda confessed. "But I was lucky enough to have a friend who had very liberal minded parents. I would have ended up on the street like many gay kids do. They're not blood but to this day they're family, you know? They took me in until I could graduate and start Springfield U. But… facing what I faced… yeah, it hurt, but it also made me stronger, more self-sufficient."  
  
"Do you talk to your parents now?" Natalia asked.  
  
"Once in a blue moon," Jamanda replied. "You?"  
  
"Never," Natalia said flatly.  
  
"I'm sorry," Jamanda said automatically.  
  
"I'm not," Natalia answered with great certainty. "Parents might not like what their kids do, but real parents never abandon them. If I don't exist in their eyes then why should they exist in mine?"  
  
"Good point," Jamanda said with a positive nod.  
  
"And like you said, you make your own families, right?" Natalia answered with a sigh to lighten the mood. "Enough of memory lane, let's get a drink. Today is a day to eat, drink and be merry. Well, you ladies can drink, and I'll just handle the eating and merriment part."  
  
"I'll have two drinks for you today. How's that?" Doris offered.  
  
"Sounds like a plan." Natalia smiled.  
  
As they started to move, Natalia and Jamanda took the lead, chatting and walking slightly ahead of Olivia and Doris, who followed behind.  
  
"So?" Olivia whispered. "You gonna be polishing that 'trophy' tonight?" she added and then gave a wicked giggle.  
  
Doris sighed. "What did I say?" she warned in an equally quiet voice.  
  
"You said no more age jokes. You said nothing about trophy wife jokes. Besides, you're a politician. You're supposed to have a PYT on your arm, aren't you?"  
  
"PYT?"  
  
"Pretty Young Thing."  
  
"Now that was an age crack," Doris said shaking her finger.  
  
"Okay, you got me there," Olivia relented.  
  
"And really, who are YOU to talk? You've got nearly a decade on Natalia."  
  
Olivia smiled. "Yes, one decade. Not two."  
  
"She is a smart, funny and intelligent woman," Doris defended.  
  
"Yes, Natalia certainly is," Olivia teased, fully understanding what Doris meant.  
  
"I was talking about Jamanda," the mayor replied annoyed.  
  
"I was only teasing. I can tell she's special. Heck, I've seen women twice her age who don't seem that mature…" Olivia began to grin and looked at Doris. "…Women, like you."  
  
At the same time, Doris said, "Like me." Olivia giggled again as Doris, continued. "Yeah, I saw that comment coming."  
  
She grinned too, but it only lasted a few seconds. "Seriously though, Jamanda and I have a lot in common – rough childhoods, a love of good Scotch and criminal law. She's in her last year of law school, by the way. When she passes the bar in the Spring she'll be able to practice."  
  
Olivia grinned again and then asked, "And how long have you been practicing?"  
  
Doris was about to answer, but then she realized Olivia was fishing for another age joke.  
  
"Shut the hell up," the older woman chuckled, which made them both laugh. The noise then made Natalia and Jamanda turn around to see what the commotion was about. "She's just being an ass," Doris told the pair as she pointed to Olivia.  
  
Jamanda stopped and turned around to face Olivia and Doris.  
  
"Let her get it out of her system," she said to Doris. "Come on, Olivia. Let's hear 'em – all the age jokes. Let's go. Ready. Aim. Fire."  
  
"I'm not making fun of you," Olivia defended. "I'm making fun of her," she added as she pointed to Doris. "It's obvious why she's with you – you're very bright and beautiful. Her, on the other hand-."  
  
"You don't think Doris is beautiful?" Jamanda asked, cutting Olivia off.  
  
"Well, no. She is. Plus, today, she's got that dress workin' for her," Olivia waved.  
  
Doris gave Olivia a girly smile of thanks.  
  
"And would you say she's intelligent?" Jamanda prodded.  
  
"Doris is very smart."  
  
"And funny? I find her very funny, but not everyone gets her humor."  
  
Olivia sighed. "Okay, yes, Doris has great qualities, but you could find a woman your age."  
  
"Why would I want one?" Jamanda asked as she closed the distance and put her arm around Doris's waist. "It seems the women my age all wanna have babies – no offense," she added pointing to Natalia. "They can't carry on a decent conversation that doesn't involve celebrity gossip and to be quite frank, none of them can hold a candle to what this woman can do in bed." Doris blushed, but she grinned proudly just the same. "Maybe they can run a flight of stairs faster or read a newspaper without glasses. So what? It doesn't matter because the worn out adage is true - with age, comes wisdom. And believe me when I tell you, Doris Wolfe is a very WISE woman in many, MANY aspects in life, and I feel honored that she had the courage to set aside her own reservations about MY age and took the chance in asking ME, of all people, to come here today. So instead of questioning it, perhaps you could be her friend and just admire her too for being brave."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry. I just-." Olivia held up her hands.  
  
"It's okay, really. I know you care for Doris and she cares for you," Jamanda said sincerely before Olivia could apologize further. "Few people get the concept of May, well, not May/December relationships, that's too much of a stretch. I'd say we're more like May/September romance. But whatever you call it, we work well together," Jamanda said with a smile. "Anyway, let's just go get that drink."  
  
As Jamanda pulled Doris along, the mayor did manage to take the time to shoot Olivia a smug look.  
  
"You got schooled," Natalia teased Olivia as they followed behind the couple in front of them. "Good for Jamanda," she added. Olivia opened her mouth to speak. "You were being obnoxious."  
  
"I was teasing Doris."  
  
"You know I'm less than ten years older than Jamanda. In fact, I'm closer to HER age than YOURS."  
  
"Are you saying you're not old enough for her?" Olivia joked. Natalia didn't look amused. "We're not gonna fight, are we?" she quickly added upon seeing the expression.  
  
"Not at all," Natalia answered. "I'm just saying the way you look at Doris and Jamanda is the same way some people might look at you and I. And if age wasn't enough, there're also our social classes to consider."  
  
"What are you saying?" Olivia replied.  
  
"You honestly think there are people – folks who know our history – who won't think I'm just being a gold digger? That maybe I, the poor woman, 'went gay' for a woman worth, what, millions? Or what about you? After all, my own son still thinks that, on some level, you're corrupting me for kicks. They might see me as just another, however slightly unique, notch in Olivia Spencer's headboard."  
  
"Okay, what started out as a few jokes at Doris's expense is quickly turning into every reason why we shouldn't be together…Are you having second thoughts? Is that what this is?"  
  
"What? No! I'm just saying there are people who will wonder what on earth we offer one another? So really, I don't find it very funny for you to question Jamanda and Doris. If they're happy, just be happy for them, because really Olivia, on the surface, you and I don't work AT ALL. But the truth is we do work, and in the end, that's all that matters, right? It's not about what everyone else thinks - it's about what WE THINK."  
  
Olivia grinned. "I keep getting schooled by all sorts of beautiful women today."  
  
"So you think Jamanda is beautiful, huh? More beautiful than me?" Natalia asked, fishing for a compliment.  
  
"Not by a long shot," Olivia said as she raised Natalia's hands to her lips and kissed it while they walked. "Besides, she's got no dimples. You know I love the dimple action." Natalia automatically smiled. "Yeah, those ones right there."

 **Chapter Fifty-One**  
  
Olivia and Natalia stood by the refreshment table, looking out over the water.  
  
"I really love the water," Natalia told her. "It's one of the few things I miss about Chicago."  
  
"That's funny." Olivia grinned. "It's one of the things I miss about San Cristobal. So you're a water lover too? I never knew that."  
  
"Well, not a water lover exactly."  
  
Olivia gave her a light chuckle. "Now I'm confused."  
  
"I like to look at the water – it's beautiful," she said motioning out the window. "I like the way it smells. And I love the feeling of sand between my toes, but as for swimming? Not so much. I can doggy paddle and that's about it. Otherwise, I sink like a stone."  
  
"That's because you hardly have any body fat," Olivia answered. Natalia just motioned a hand down her own body. "No, you're not fat. You're pregnant," her lover added.  
  
Natalia gave a heavy sigh and asked, "What if…what if I don't lose the 'baby weight'?" she asked nervously. "Will you still…find me desirable?"  
  
"Honey, there will never come a time when I don't want to make love to you," Olivia answered sincerely.  
  
"So, let's say if I wanted to find somewhere private. Maybe some place like the beach or, say a broom closet, you wouldn't say no?"  
  
Olivia came within inches of Natalia, but she didn't let her hands touch any part of Natalia. Instead, she moved close enough so they were facing each other, touching breast to breast.  
  
"Can you feel how turned on you make me, just by standing near you? The answer to your question is yes. You name the time and the place and I'll be there."  
  
Natalia glanced down and got a full few of Olivia's cleavage. "I really wanna take you now," she growled. "Can we find somewhere, anywhere, around here?"  
  
Olivia closed her eyes and bit her top lip with her bottom teeth for a second.  
  
"Don't toy with me, Sweetheart," Olivia said, her tone getting deeper due to her budding desire.  
  
"I'm not playing," Natalia said, her voice dropping an octave too. She looked left and then right. "Find a place for us privately, and I'll drop my soaked underwear to prove it."  
  
Olivia groaned and began to smile. "I'd call you a tease, but I know you'd follow through."  
  
"Come on, let's find a place here. There's gotta be somewhere we can go."  
  
Olivia turned around and saw Reva and Josh approaching.  
  
"Shit," she muttered. "We make this friendly and fast, got it!" she whispered.  
  
Natalia nodded and put on a smile for the approaching pair.  
  
"Rumor had it you were having a baby," Reva began. "Do you mind?" she asked as she held out her hand to feel Natalia's stomach.  
  
"Go ahead," Olivia said before Natalia could answer. "Fondle the woman – we all do." Josh, Natalia and Olivia all exchanged a knowing grin.  
  
"So do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl?" Reva asked as she touched Natalia for a moment and then took a step back.  
  
Olivia gave Natalia a look that spoke 'move this along' without saying a word.  
  
"A girl," Natalia answered keeping her answer polite, but short.  
  
"Congratulations!" Reva told the pair. "I mean, that's so exciting! A little girl?"  
  
"Yeah, thank you," Natalia said with a smile. "We're so excited."  
  
"We are," Olivia agreed as she began to rub Natalia's growing tummy. "We-we love the smell of a newborn baby, right?" she added to Natalia.  
  
"I know. I-I just can't wait to get her home and show Emma and watch her face-."  
  
"She's gonna be so happy-you know we should find her and make sure she doesn't get her dress too dirty. Will you excuse us?" Before Josh or Reva could answer, Olivia already had Natalia by the hand, pulling her away.  
  
Reva watched with a smile and then moved to the space the pair vacated and told Josh, "They seem so friendly."  
  
Josh simply smiled at first.  
  
Several yards away, Natalia asked, "Her dress too dirty? That was the best excuse you could come up with?"  
  
Olivia leaned over to Natalia as they continued to walk and said, "Announcing something like 'Excuse me, I need to go have sex with my wife this instant' just seemed a bit excessive."  
  
Natalia stopped in her tracks and the action brought Olivia to a grinding halt as well. Olivia turned, but she couldn't read the expression on Natalia's face – was it sorrow…anger…shock. She wasn't sure.  
  
"You're wife?" Natalia asked.  
  
Olivia looked mildly nervous.  
  
"Maybe not according to the state or Father Ray, but yeah," Oivia said as she took a few steps closer. "In here," she said tapping her ribcage, "you certainly are my wife – we're family. You, me, Emma, Rafe, and this one," she said as she stroked Natalia's belly. "And like it or not, if I knew I could get a marriage license, I'd drag you to City Hall get hitched by Doris today... And hopefully that confession doesn't leave you screaming for the hills."  
  
Natalia began to grin.  
  
"Oh no," she tisked, waving her finger. "No screaming and no quickie wedding for us. I don't need the white dress, or a diamond ring so big that hurts my wrist. However, I do want the flowers and the bridesmaids and the dancing and the food and –."  
  
"Gotta have the food," Olivia interrupted.  
  
"Of course! And you're not getting off cheap with me."  
  
"You know, when you were gonna marry Frank you said none of that stuff mattered."  
  
Natalia closed the distance between them and pulled Olivia to her by the waist. "You're different."  
  
"How so?" Olivia asked.  
  
"With you…" Natalia said as she pushed a piece of wayward hair behind Olivia's ear. "… You're my world and I want to celebrate that with everyone. I don't want there to be any doubt that we belong with each other, or that we belong TO each other… You're not getting away…ever." Natalia smiled.  
  
"Good, because I never wanna leave," Olivia said as she nuzzled next to Natalia's ear.  
  
"Mom! Natalia! There you are!" They both looked over to see Emma moving toward them quickly while, in the distance, Rafe tried to look everywhere else, but at the affectionate couple. "They're gonna start the wedding soon. We gotta take our seats!"  
  
"Okay, Jellybean," Olivia said. "You and Rafe find us four spots, okay? We'll be right there." Once Emma was out of earshot Olivia said, "So much for broom closet sex."  
  
Natalia chuckled as she took Olivia by the waist, and they began to walk.  
  
"Actually, maybe it's better we got distracted," the Latina suggested. "Between your protruding cleavage and my obtrusive belly, we might have gotten stuck somewhere."  
  
"Between my cleavage, huh? I really like having YOU between my cleavage."  
  
"Is that so?" Natalia replied as she looked down Olivia's dress. Olivia, for her part, just licked her lips and nodded. "Ironically, between your cleavage is one of my most favorite places to be…well, aside from the wet cleft between your legs." The breath of her words against Olivia's ear made the older woman shudder. For extra measure, Natalia slid her hand down and casually grabbed Olivia's left buttocks, giving it a quick squeeze.  
  
"Oh, you're a bad girl," Olivia sighed in arousal.  
  
"Yeah, you got pretty lucky," Natalia said as she wiggled her eyebrows.  
  
"Yes, I did," Olivia whole-heartily agreed as they closed the distance to take their seats.

 **Chapter Fifty-Two**  
  
After they had dropped Rafe off at the bus station, Natalia went to Company with Frank to get Emma while Olivia stopped by the Spaulding Mansion to offer her condolences to Phillip and to see if they needed anything.  
  
Later that night, Olivia and her 'girls' barely touched their spaghetti dinner, although it was one of Emma's favorites and she requested it. The truth is no one had an appetite. What began as a fun day at Buzz and Lillian's duel wedding with Vanessa and Billy ended with Emma literally without a grandfather and a brother who would soon be halfway around the world.  
  
Olivia turned off the last light downstairs as Natalia stood in the doorway of Emma's bedroom just watching the young girl sleep. Olivia stood silently watching the sad smile that graced Natalia's face for a few moments. With soft footsteps, she made her way to Natalia, who turned to the sound and looked at her for only a moment. She then turned her gaze back to their daughter curled up in bed with a stuffed animal that resembled a kitten tucked under her arm.  
  
"You know," Natalia whispered once Olivia was at her side. "In about ten years, she'll be gone too."  
  
Olivia studied the gloomy grin on her lover's face as she ran her hand down Natalia's back. The appendage came to rest on Natalia's hip.  
  
"But that's the point, isn't it? You provide the love and guidance they need so they go off and form their own households, like we did. We might not always live together, but we'll always be family."  
  
"Do you think you've guided Emma enough to make it on her own?"  
  
Olivia smiled. "She knows the Springfield bus schedule pretty well, I can tell you that." Natalia playfully swatted Olivia's arm as she held back a laugh. "But to answer your question…no. When I was, dying – that was one of the hardest parts. Did I love her enough? Did I teach her enough and who would teach her when I was gone? I'm not sure if that feeling will ever go away."  
  
"It won't." Natalia's response was barely above a whisper.  
  
A small silence passed between them and Olivia said, "I will say this, if hadn't survived and Emma ended up with you and Gus then she woulda had that love and support I was worried about…I know you love Gus – and always will – and I know you love Emma. Sometimes I think..." Olivia shook off the thought. "Look, it doesn't matter what I think. What's done is done, right? Que Sera, Sera?"  
  
Natalia turned and took a nervous looking Olivia by the waist. "You think that sometimes I wish I had Gus and Emma instead of you and Emma? Is that it?"  
  
Olivia didn't answer – instead she simply shrugged, unable to meet Natalia's eyes.  
  
"Understand something," Natalia said stroking Olivia's face and getting her attention. "Nicky was my first love. I idealized him. But you, you're the love of MY LIFE. I don't worship you. I see you quite clearly – good and…not so good – and I love you nonetheless. So please don't think – not even for a moment – that I wished Gus was here instead of you. Am I sorry he died? Of course I am. But I also know if he hadn't, then chances are you wouldn't still be here, and you're my world."  
  
Olivia took a deep breath. "If that's really true then why did you leave?" she asked as her voice broke. She immediately rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry. I moved back in – I made my choice to forgive. I - I've got let it go, I know."  
  
"You're within your rights to ask, Olivia," Natalia said trying to comfort her. "Honestly, I second guessed everything in my life when I learned I was pregnant and when I went away to reflect and gain focus my thoughts changed so much on a regular basis. But there was only one constant that didn't change – how 'I' felt about you. Every time I thought of you, and how this baby might drive a wedge between us, I ached at the thought of losing you. It felt like my whole world would crumble. And that's when I realized it… you ARE my world. Because when we're apart I feel empty and when everything feels terrible and hopeless, you make it right with something as simple as a smile... and I think about Rafe leaving today and…" Natalia trailed off, forcing her growing tears down. She sighed deeply. "Look, it's been a long day," Natalia said softly, as not to wake Emma.  
  
"It has," Olivia agreed. "Let's try to get some sleep, okay?"  
  
Natalia nodded and took Olivia's hand as the older woman led her to their bedroom. The hotelier went in first, followed by her lover, but she stopped when she heard the door close and the lock click into place. As she turned Natalia was already closing the distance between them at a rapid rate and drawing her into a heated kiss that took Olivia off guard at first.  
  
Realizing what was happening, Olivia began to reciprocate. A few seconds later Natalia was pulling at the Olivia's white tank top trying to pull it up and over her breasts. Before she could succeed though, Olivia captured Natalia's hands in hers.  
  
"Slow down, Tigress. What's going on?" she asked.  
  
Natalia looked annoyed. "I'm trying to make love to my wife, but obviously she's not cooperating."  
  
Olivia opened her mouth, at first saying nothing. She then pulled Natalia with her and the two of them sat at the foot of the bed.  
  
"Talk to me," Olivia told her.  
  
"I don't wanna talk," Natalia said as she tried to pull Olivia back in for another round of kisses. Olivia, however, turned her head away and Natalia's shoulders slumped in defeat. "You don't want me anymore," she sighed.  
  
Natalia tried to rise to walk away, but Olivia grabbed her arm and pivoted her own body slightly so she could face Natalia more directly.  
  
"Trust me. I want you. More than I've ever wanted anyone. But what's happening here …this display of passion is NOT about us. You're running and you're using me… using sex … to escape."  
  
"I don't mean to use you, Olivia. I just want to feel alive," Natalia said with a slight sob in her voice.  
  
"Okay, 'using me' was a poor choice of words," her lover said. "But I've been where you are right now, Sweetie." She began to stroke Natalia's face. "I've used sex as a release and, yeah, sometimes it works, but… no man recognized my actions for what they truly were - trying to hide what was bothering me. There were times my actions in bed weren't about desire or about wanting _THEM_. It was about looking for someway to try to heal my heart."  
  
"I'm sorry for upsetting you," Natalia said sounding guilty.  
  
"Listen to me," Olivia said. When Natalia didn't turn her way, she said, "Look at me." Reluctantly, Natalia did and Olivia continued, "I'm not criticizing you, okay? And I'm not mad. I'm saying I understand what you're doing right now - wanting to 'love away' the hurt and confusion. I'm telling you that if you want to talk to me, you can talk to me - between Alan's death, explaining the complexities of life to Emma and Rafe leaving, it's…you're right, it has been a loooooong day."  
  
"It has," Natalia said softly, sounding almost like a scared child. "If you don't want to, you know, have sex, I understand… I-I'm sorry for not thinking clearly. I didn't even consider how Alan's death might be affecting you. I know you genuinely loved him at one time and him dying-."  
  
"He died happy," Olivia told her. "Some people never reach that point, and although he didn't realize what being happy meant for very long, at least he got to experience it. And he got to be the hero he never had the courage to be before. It's just hard talking to Emma, trying to explain…" Olivia paused and tears sprang to her eyes as she recalled the sadness on Emma's face and how she didn't have any solid answers on why people die and why her granddad had to die 'now' when he was looking just fine. Olivia cleared her throat. "Maybe I'm more upset about it all than I thought," she realized as she started to cry silently. She wiped her own tears away and turned to Natalia, who was also now in tears.  
  
"I'm sorry for pushing you," Natalia sobbed.  
  
"Don't," Olivia said composing herself and now pulling her lover closer. "You didn't push me, and yes, I want to make love to you. Like I said earlier today, I will ALWAYS desire you. I just want you to know that you can talk to me if you're upset – you don't have to use sex to find comfort with me."  
  
Natalia was quiet for a long moment.  
  
"What if he... doesn't come back?" she finally asked.  
  
Olivia was aware they weren't talking about Alan anymore.  
  
"I told you. I have faith. Besides, Rafe grew up in a tough city; he's survived prison. He's strong and he's smart and between you and me, the kid is ten times more stubborn than you. So if he decides he's coming home in one piece after his tour then you can be damn sure he will. I don't know what's in those Rivera genes, but you're both survivors who refuse to give up when you set your mind on something."  
  
Natalia considered her words and grinned slightly. "Still…that doesn't answer my question."  
  
"So what if he doesn't come back?" Olivia asked, repeating it. Natalia gave a small nod. Olivia sighed deeply. Sure, she had issues with the young man – that was putting the situation lightly. But Rafe WAS Natalia – her flesh, her blood, her child. She didn't want any harm to befall him – for all their sakes, including Rafe's.  
  
"I'll be here," Olivia began. "Emma will be here. This new child will be here. The entire Cooper clan – hell, you can't avoid them." Both women grinned for a moment and Olivia began to look serious again as she continued. "None of us could ever replace Rafe, but you'll never be without unconditional love or affection again. That much I CAN promise you for sure."  
  
Natalia looked deeply into Olivia's eyes and knew she firmly believed what she was saying. Not that Olivia lied to her or gave her a reason to doubt her words. It was the fact Olivia was convinced, and when Olivia was convinced of something that's usually what happened. Natalia's hand reached up and began to softly stroke Olivia's face.  
  
"I still really want to make love to you," Natalia told her with such sincerity and desire it made Olivia melt.  
  
The older woman stood up, her smile in place, and she lifted the tank top over her head, leaving her clad in her bra and pink jeans. She took a spot between Natalia's legs that hung over the foot of the bed and brought the younger woman's hands to the buckle of her belt.  
  
Without further prompting, Natalia undid the leather belt and then slowly released each button from Olivia's button fly jeans. Once free, Natalia reached for the waistband and pulled the thin denim from her lover's hips, letting it pool at the floor.  
  
Not bothering to step out of her jeans, Olivia went to work undressing Natalia. She started first by tugged at Natalia's maternity top that the pregnant woman was partially sitting on. Once it was free, in one swift move Olivia pulled it up and over Natalia's head to find the younger woman was bra-less.  
  
"Oh. Wow," Olivia mumbled almost incoherently.  
  
Natalia blushed slightly, a rosy color coming to her chest, neck and face. "You approve?" she asked shyly. Olivia opened her mouth, but words failed her. "I'll take that as a yes," Natalia giggled.  
  
Getting her bearings, but still speechless, Olivia reached around Natalia's waist to unbutton the denim skirt. She then gently pushed Natalia's back to the bed and swiftly pulled the skirt to find Natalia wasn't wearing panties either.  
  
"Good God," Olivia said tossing the final garment of Natalia's over her shoulder. "You did have plans tonight, didn't you?"  
  
Natalia rose to her elbows while she still lay on the bed.  
  
"What did you expect?" she asked incredulously. "You got me all worked up at the wedding. I'm not about to let you be a clit tease," she said unflinchingly.  
  
Olivia gave her a deep laugh that happened when something truly tickled her.  
  
"Say that again," she commanded in a husky voice.  
  
"Worked up?" Natalia teased, fully aware what Olivia wanted her to repeat. Olivia's only response as a disapproving raised eyebrow. "Ohhhh, you mean clit tease." Olivia rewarded her with another baritone chuckle. Natalia giggled too for a moment. "I love your laugh," she said in a tone filled with total devotion and love.  
  
"I love your dirty talk," Olivia said as she straddled Natalia's waist. She leaned over the making the smaller woman, making her lie back down again.  
  
"I love your naked body." Natalia reached up and in one fluid movement had Olivia's bra unsnapped and pulled from her shoulders.  
  
"Damn, you're fast," Olivia said, now clad only in her satin boy shorts.  
  
"A stunningly beautiful woman taught me that patience isn't always a virtue – sometimes you just need to grab what you want with both hands."  
  
With that, Natalia reached up and clutched both of Olivia's breasts and began to massage them. Olivia's groan came from deep within her throat and Natalia could feel her own center instantly become wet at the sound. When Olivia's nipples began to grow erect, Natalia took each one between a thumb and index finger bringing it to an even greater point.  
  
"You know one of the many, MANY things I love about sex with you?" Natalia asked in a somewhat absent tone, since she was caught up in see the physiologically reaction her touch was having on Olivia's body.  
  
"Oh, do tell, Dear," Olivia moaned as her arms began waiver slightly, threatening to topple her onto Natalia at any moment.  
  
"That. Right there. You talk to me – complete sentences too. Men, well, the two I'd been with anyway, they couldn't… well… walk and chew gum at the same time, if you know what I mean."  
  
That did it. Olivia laughed and tumbled forward, but she shifted direction and ended up plopping next to Natalia. Olivia reached over and stroked Natalia's face, who'd turned to face her, so they lay side-by-side.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean," Olivia said with a smile as she inched slightly closer. "What else do you like?" she asked coyly as her hand traveled down the length of Natalia's body as far as she could reach before she followed the path back up.  
  
"I like that we can lie like this: laughing, totally naked; totally at ease."  
  
Olivia's eyebrow arched slightly. "I'm not at ease. I'm pretty excitable right now, actually."  
  
Natalia smiled. "Me too. See?" She shifted up slightly and led Olivia's hand to the wetness at her center and held it steady. "I mean I don't feel 'rushed' – like I have some unknown destination that I need to 'get to.' With you, I'll 'get there' – I'm sure of it – but it's more like taking the scenic roads opposed to the quickest, most direct route."  
  
Olivia couldn't control herself any longer and her fingers began to slide through the wetness that Natalia led her to just moments before. Natalia let out an appreciative sigh that made Olivia's breath catch.  
  
"What…What about you?" Natalia forced out. "W-what do you like?"  
  
"You mean aside from the fact you're always soaked and ready for me," Olivia replied as her fingers picked up their pace slightly. Natalia only groaned as her hips began to move of their own accord against Olivia's fingertips. "I love this," Olivia said, almost sounding like a hum. "I love the smooth skin and softness of you." Olivia leaned closer and began to nibble along Natalia's neck and was rewarded with a desire filled whimper. "I LOVE the way you buck against my hand." Olivia rose slightly and looked down at Natalia, whose breathing was becoming more labored. "I love that wanton look in your eyes like you have right now. The one that says you want me to devour you," she answered.  
  
"Please," Natalia begged in an edgy voice.  
  
"Oh, and although I already mentioned it…" she continued to tease. "I love your dirty talk. So tell me…" Olivia said as she easily plunged three fingers inside of Natalia, making her grind even harder against her hand.  
  
"Oh, Liv," Natalia said passionately sighed.  
  
"How can I please you, Natalia?"  
  
Natalia licked her dry lips and then captured Olivia's head and pulled her into a passionate kiss as she continued to ride the older woman's hand. She pulled back and rested her forehead on Olivia's. Natalia took a shaken breath.  
  
"Fuck me…with your tongue."  
  
"You wanna feel my tongue inside you, Baby?" Olivia asked with a playful smile.  
  
"In me. On me. Everywhere."  
  
"How bad do you want it?"  
  
"Real bad."  
  
"Real bad?"  
  
"Real bad."  
  
"Proof it," Olivia challenged.  
  
Natalia groaned both in desire and frustration. She extracted Olivia from the depths of her body and swiftly moved off the bed. Before Olivia could ask where she was going, Natalia pulled on the bedspread with such force that Olivia found her body sliding to the edge. With a mix of desire and uncertainty, Olivia watched as Natalia began to greedily lick her center through her boy shorts.  
  
The older woman's head slammed into the mattress, and she let out a groan as her hips arched in the air, meeting Natalia's hungry mouth. The younger woman made sounds of enjoyment as she slurped and devoured her lover while Olivia's fingers tangled in her hair.  
  
Suddenly though, she felt Natalia rise away, and she whimpered slightly at the loss of contact. The next sensation she felt was the sound of fabric and tread tearing apart as Natalia literally ripped the crotch of the underwear, leaving a hole in the seam that allowed her direct access to Olivia's center. With the shorts still on Olivia, Natalia's tongue sought out and found the older woman's soaked cleft.  
  
"Oh God." Olivia closed her eyes.  
  
She'd had many lovers and tried many things. Hell, she wrapped herself in plastic wrap for Josh for goodness sake But this...this was totally foreign to her. Not once, in all her sexual escapades, did anyone desire her so much that they literally tore clothing apart to get to HER. The emotional implication of that fact, which soon followed, was incredible.  
  
The actual physical sensation was overwhelming too though. Not only did Olivia feel Natalia's tongue driving in and out of her, delicately brushing her clit along the way, but the remains of the underwear continued to rub against her center too.  
  
"Fingers," Olivia managed to croak. "Fingers."  
  
Natalia quickly pulled the remains of Olivia's underwear completely off and without wasting a single second, she slid two fingers inside, and then a third. She began to build a rhythm with Olivia's rising and falling hips when the older woman below her cried out in passion, surprising both of them with how fast her orgasm overtook her.  
  
"Oh, fuck!" Olivia swore with excitement just under her breath, not wanting to wake Emma. "That was…intense."  
  
Natalia climbed up on the bed, a wanton look still on her delicate features. "Was? Oh no, Liv. You're not done tonight," she warned as she began to straddle her hips over Olivia's face. "I proved myself. Now pay up and fuck me with your tongue."  
  
Olivia's eyes widened momentarily at Natalia's directness and desire. She grinned slightly and gave a silent prayer, _Thank you God for showing her the way back to me and letting her unleash this passion for me_.  
  
As Natalia steadied herself over Olivia by holding the top of the headboard, she heard Olivia start to speak, "So, you want-?"  
  
"I wanna soak your entire face," Natalia answered as she looked down, although she couldn't see Olivia.  
  
Seconds later, without another word from either woman, Natalia's head fell back, and her breast protruded forward, as Olivia's tongue made a connection with her center. After a few moments, she began to rock above Olivia, whose tongue dove in and out of her center, and whose nose tickled her clitoris.  
  
"Oh, that's it," Natalia said in a soft, desire filled whimper as she began to twist her own erect nipples between her fingers. . "Like that. Just like that." Olivia shook her head a bit more and Natalia's back arched even more, and she drove down just a little bit more. "Oh, Liv…I'm close, Sweetheart. I'm so close."  
  
Much to Olivia's own excitement and delight, she was pleased when she felt Natalia's finger reach down brushing her own and together they stroked Natalia's engorged clit. "Inside," Natalia begged as her fingers brushed across her clit at a speedy rate.  
  
"God, you're so fucking hot when you're this turned on," Olivia complimented. "Watching you makes me wanna come all over again."  
  
The touching, the sounds and the smells that filled the room inspired Natalia. However, it was Olivia's voice and words that pushed her over the edge.  
  
"God, yesssss," she hissed as her hands reached for the headboard again to steady herself. Her fingernails dug into the wood as she climaxed harder and longer than she imagined she would.  
  
Natalia rose up slightly as the waves continued to overtake her and Olivia was able to slip out from under her. The older woman watched Natalia's body convulse in pleasure, and she wrapped her arms around Natalia from behind. It was seconds later when she heard the slight sobs escape the younger woman's throat.  
  
At first, Olivia wasn't sure what brought on the reaction. She knew that sex, especially good sex, could stir many emotions – sometimes ones that were in direct conflict with each other. Sometimes an intense release had the power to call to mind events that had very little to do with the sexual pleasure that just took place.  
  
Olivia continued to stroke Natalia's hair as the woman slowly made her way to the mattress. Still not saying anything, and with Natalia's sobs finally calming somewhat, Olivia heard the younger woman ask, "What if he's maimed? What if he dies?"  
  
This time Natalia didn't sugarcoat the questions - she went directly to the point of what haunted her the most right now.  
  
Olivia moved even closer behind Natalia and tightened her hold on her. She buried her face in Natalia's sweat-soaked hair and neck.  
  
"If that happens," Olivia said, not ignoring her concern, "we'll get through it…together... Like we always do."  
  
Natalia rolled around to face Olivia. Neither woman said anything – they didn't need to… they simply held one another.

 **Chapter Fifty-Three**  
  
"I don't believe it," Natalia said as she sat on the sofa and pointed at the television. "Olivia! Get in here!"  
  
They hadn't been awake that long, but upon hearing the urgency in Natalia's voice, Olivia raced into the living room as fast as her feet would carry her. Emma's cereal box was still in her hand. Of course, wanting to see what the commotion was all about, Emma followed too.  
  
"Is it the baby?" Olivia worriedly asked as she rounded the corner, entering the living room. She looked Natalia up and down to see if something was physically wrong.  
  
Natalia shook her head and pointed at the television, not taking her eyes off of it. All three of them watched as Doris stood in front of City Hall holding a press conference, as a banner scrolled across the bottom of the screen saying 'Springfield Mayor Comes Out' and a reporter gave a voiceover.  
  
"Upon learning about Mayor Wolfe's lesbian relationship, with twenty-eight year old cocktail waitress Jamanda Weiks, the Springfield Republican committee issued the following statement saying, 'We feel that Ms. Wolfe's lifestyle choices to be in direct conflict with the Republican committee's stance on family values and moral conduct. At this time, she has been advised that the Republican committee will be selecting a new representative in the next mayoral election."  
  
The screen flashed to some photographers and reporters at Towers, following a nervous and scared Jamanda as she tried to make her way to her car.  
  
"Look at those bastards!" Olivia snarled at the screen.  
  
"Olivia!" Natalia admonished and gestured with her head slightly toward Emma. "Watch your language."  
  
"I'm sorry," Olivia said sincerely, realizing Emma was standing there. "But look at those animals!"  
  
"I know; it's a shame. I hope she's okay."  
  
"Going after Doris is one thing - she's a public figure," Olivia added, "But Jamanda didn't do anything. Besides what can she say other than, 'Yes, Doris is my girlfriend'?"  
  
After a moment of contemplation, Emma asked, "Ashlee has two mommies too?"  
  
Olivia and Natalia exchanged a look and Olivia shrugged as she answered, "Well, I'm not sure if they're as close as me and Natalia, but maybe someday Ashlee might have two mommies like you."  
  
That answer seemed to satisfy Emma and they all turned back to the television, which now showed another clip of the earlier news conference where a reporter asked, "Is this news going to change your plans to run for re-election since you no longer have the financial backing of the RNC? Or do you plan to switch political parties?"  
  
"At this point I plan to run as an independent," Doris replied, the picture of grace under pressure.  
  
"How do you feel about the RNC pulling their backing?" another asked.  
  
"Obviously there are some policies within the RNC I don't agree with, particularly those concerning the LGBT communities. However, there are still ideals I hold firm to – such as their avoidance of tax and spend policies. So since I have no intention of moving to the Democratic party, I'll be considering other funding sources such as grassroots campaigning."  
  
The reporter began to do another voice over as they showed more pre-taped images of Doris. At that moment, Olivia's cell phone began to ring, and she looked at the name.  
  
"It's Doris," she told them.  
  
Natalia made a gesture that she was moving into the kitchen. She took the cereal box from Olivia and then took Emma by the shoulder, gently leading her out of the room and back to their breakfast.  
  
Without even saying hello, Olivia's first words were, "Oh my god. Are you OK?" There was a slight silence and Olivia began again. "Yeah, I know the place. Can you give me about twenty minutes…Thirty? Alright…Okay, I'll see you there."  
  
Olivia walked into the kitchen, and slipped her arm around Natalia and gave her kiss on the cheek.  
  
Natalia smiled slightly and asked, "Would you think it was evil of me if I said what goes around comes around?"  
  
"Meaning?"  
  
"Doris getting blasted in front of a media firing squad about her relationship," Natalia explained. "Maybe it's instant karma."  
  
Olivia paused and grinned slightly. "Maybe a little."  
  
Natalia smiled a little bit more and then looked serious. "Really, though, how's she doing?"  
  
"I couldn't tell actually. She wants to meet me at Ayrin's Park in a half hour. I know we've got that appointment with the designer, but maybe I can meet you at Company later? I'm sure Frank'll be there – we can all leave together?"  
  
"Okay," Natalia replied. "I'll drop Emma off at Jodi's for their play date."  
  
"Natalia," Emma said rolling her eyes. "It's not a play date. I told you. We don't like each other like you and mom do, so it's not a date."  
  
Olivia exaggerated the gesture and then said, "How many times does she have to tell you?" she sighed in exaggeration before starting to smile again.  
  
"I stand corrected," Natalia chuckled holding up her hands. "How about BFF time instead?"  
  
"That'll work," Emma replied with a grin.  
  
Olivia tussled Emma's hair and then kissed the top of her head. She then leaned over to her wife, giving Natalia another kiss. "I'll see my girls later, okay?"  
  
Emma and Natalia both waved at her as they wore matching smiles. Twenty minutes later the hotelier sat on a park bench in one of the less populated outdoor areas in Springfield. She watched Doris arrive carrying roses, and she began to grin at the sight.  
  
"You're not thinking of becoming a florist, are you?" Olivia asked.  
  
Doris chuckled and took a seat next to her.  
  
"No," she said handing them over. "These are for you."  
  
"I'm flattered, but I'm taken," Olivia teased as she gave them a sniff.  
  
"They're given in the spirit of love; not romance," Doris explained.  
  
"What's the special occasion?" Olivia asked.  
  
"No occasion other than I realized something important - something I never had."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"You're my best friend and I love you," Doris said nervously.  
  
"Awww, so I'm your first," Olivia said as she bumped shoulders, hoping the slight bit of lightheartedness would ease Doris's fretfulness of the confession. "That's sweet," she added, kissing her on the cheek.  
  
Doris chuckled and smiled. "God, you're a pain in the ass."  
  
Olivia barked out a laugh. "And you like that too."  
  
Doris grinned slightly. "Yeah, I do…I just spent an entire night and morning being bombarded by fellow politicians and local organizations telling me what I should do and shouldn't do; what I should say or shouldn't say. But I realized, there's only one person's advice I really want right now and that's yours. We're straight with each other, ya know?" Doris paused for a beat. "Okay, that is probably the worst choice of words I could use."  
  
Olivia chuckled. "Okay, back up," she said holding up a palm in a 'stop' motion. "First, thank you – these are beautiful," she said holding up the flowers. "Second, all jokes aside, I love you too. And if anyone told me in February that I'd be saying that, and actually meaning it, I'd be checking them into Ravenwood. And third, how on earth did they find out about Jamanda so fast?"  
  
Doris sighed and waved a dismissive hand. "Cell phone cameras I'm assuming. The images and video of Jamanda and I kissing went viral online that night. I started getting the calls around seven when I got home."  
  
"It wasn't like you were being lewd. Heck, she didn't even stay for the reception so she wasn't there that long. She said she had to go to work at Towers."  
  
"I know!" Doris agreed. "I spent the evening dancing with Frank! No one bothered to get a picture of THAT, did they? But, believe it or not, it gets worse. The reporters tracked Jamanda down last night."  
  
"Yeah, I saw them on the news stalking her."  
  
"Well, Towers fired her." Doris sighed.  
  
"What? They can't do that!"  
  
"They can and they did."  
  
"For dating a woman?"  
  
"Maybe," she replied. "Or maybe for dating me and causing a disturbance to their establishment. Either way, they gave her the boot, and now she's jobless…because of me." Doris hung her head and rubbed her temples. "No wonder Rebecca turned me down," she muttered.  
  
"Why didn't you call me last night?" Olivia asked.  
  
"I didn't want to dump on you. I know Rafe had left, and I'm sure you were trying to comfort Natalia. And then, around that time, I noticed my cell phone was dead and it wasn't until later that I got Ashlee's messages saying Alan died. So how do I find out? I turned on the news stations to see what was being said about ME and that's when I heard it. So calling you last night was just out of the question."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Say what you will about the man, Alan was still Emma's granddad, so I figured you were pretty occupied. And-and, the truth is, I needed time to digest all of that too. I married him, like you did, ya know? Well, not really. I never loved him, but…I liked the banter. I have to admit he and I could do a pretty good verbal volley now and then."  
  
She smiled bittersweetly and Olivia simply nodded in understanding.  
  
"So Jamanda…" Olivia began after a small silence, "Have you spoken to her?"  
  
Doris nodded. "I did last night. I told her to come over, but she said she didn't want to make things worse, and she hasn't returned my calls this morning. I told her I'd take care of her, financially…emotionally…whatever she needs, but she doesn't want my help. She wants to do this on her own, saying it's her problem. She knew going to the wedding was a risk, but…but now she's not sure if she made the right choice."  
  
"Damn it, Doris."  
  
"I think the truth is she hates me, but I don't blame her." Doris hung her head again, trying to relieve the migraine that kept building.  
  
"Okay, calm down," Olivia said as she reached over and rubbed Doris's back. "She's young-."  
  
"God, not another age joke, Liv, please?"  
  
"No jokes," Olivia told her. "She's younger than you, just like Natalia's younger than me and look what happened there. In my limited experience with the fairer sex, women freak out sometimes. Natalia bolted on me and you got a front row seat to me acting like Brando, which nearly ended with us being arrested by nuns." Both women grinned for a moment at the memory. "In the end though, Natalia came around. I came around and the two of us found each other. So don't give up on Jamanda. I know I teased you, but if you think you could love this woman, don't give up – just give her some space for now."  
  
Doris nodded. "You know one of the worst parts of all of this?" Olivia simply listened. "I've been called out by practically everyone as the world's biggest hypocrite for the 'my two mommies / protect our children' speech." Olivia just shook her head with a growing grin. "Go ahead. Laugh it up."  
  
"No, I'm just thinking about Natalia. She said what comes around goes around. You know the whole reaping what you sow thing? I will say this though – after enjoying the initial irony of the situation, she was genuinely concerned for both you and Jamanda."  
  
"She is a good woman and I can't blame her for enjoying a little payback," Doris said trying to smile. For a long moment, nether woman said anything. They just sat in comfortable silence until Doris spoke again. "But like I said, through all of this, I realized something."  
  
"What's that?" Olivia asked.  
  
"For the first time in my life, I found a woman I can call a true friend." Doris rolled her shoulders. "Who the hell am I kidding? For the first time in my life, I found ANYONE I could call a friend."  
  
"That's not true. When we were looking for Natalia you said you've been loved before."  
  
"Yeah, boyfriends and girlfriends, but not by anyone who wasn't a romantic partner. I've never had… a confidant…not until you. And I knew when I was dealing with all this crap in the last 15 hours… that in spite of all this chaos, and all these backers, who are now dropping like flies, one thing would be constant… you'd be there when I called…and here you are."  
  
Olivia gave her a small grin. "Should I be proud that you like me for who I am or should I be disappointed that you don't find me as sexually desirable?  
  
"You said it yourself," Doris told her. "You are very, VERY taken. Anyone with eyes can see that…well, except for Frank Cooper."  
  
"Oh! Speaking of, what time is it?" Olivia asked looking at her watch.  
  
"Why?" Doris asked.  
  
"The three of us have a date with a nursery designer," Olivia answered.  
  
"Ooh, a nursery threesome – how sexy is that?" Doris teased.  
  
Olivia just giggled, "Come on, walk with me."  
  
Olivia offered Doris her free hand to help her stand, while her other hand remained filled with the bouquet of roses. As they began to walk down the shaded path, Olivia her arm around Doris and Doris immediately did the same.  
  
Olivia cleared her throat and then said, "Tell Jamanda to take a week off and not to worry about the money – I'll give her a nice sized 'signing bonus'. Then when things cool down in a few days, and the media's salivating over the next big scoop, she can come work at the Beacon. We need a bartender and I'm sure I pay better than Towers."  
  
"Olivia, you don't have to do that," Doris replied. "I didn't ask you here to-."  
  
"And as for your re-election campaign," Olivia continued, ignoring any protest, "let me know what the RNC gave you last time. Phillip and I will split the cost and cover it."  
  
"I don't know what to say," Doris said a bit tearful.  
  
"I do. You learned my deep dark secret."  
  
"You're gay?"  
  
"No, I'm a sucker for flowers."  
  
Doris chuckled.  
  
"After all," Olivia continued, "that's how Natalia won me over again. So stealing a play from her playbook – well done." Olivia rested her head briefly on Doris's shoulder as they walked, making Doris smile.  
  
"Just how are you going to talk Phillip into doing this though? I tried to get him thrown back into jail and, honestly, the Spauldings really don't like me, especially Beth."  
  
"Big whoop. She doesn't like me either. But I'm not worried about her. Emma's Phillip's daughter and you're Emma's Aunt Doris. All she's gotta do is bat her baby blues and say, 'Daddy, can you give Auntie D some money, so she can stay mayor?'" Olivia finished in a childlike voice and stuck out her lip in a pout.  
  
Doris chuckled. "And here I thought Natalia Rivera had rehabilitated you into a virtuous person, but you're gonna pimp your child for me."  
  
"Pimping is such an ugly word. I prefer… errand running. She's just gonna swing by the Spaulding mansion and get some money for us. That's all."  
  
Both women chuckled.  
  
As they started to come back to the parking lot where a couple of cars sat, Doris said, "You better let me go and not stand so close. I don't want you being next on the hit list."  
  
"Are you personally bothered with me being this close?"  
  
"No," Doris said sincerely.  
  
Olivia tightened her hold in response. "Then screw them. I'm not letting go of my best friend."  
  
Doris smiled as they continued to walk practically joined at the hip.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
Later that day, on the other side of town Frank, Natalia and Olivia – in that order – sat alone on a large sofa in the interior designer's office. They were looking at a collection of books with baby items, with each of them holding a book on his or her lap while the designer was in a nearby room taking a phone call.  
  
"I like the daisies and pink flowers motif," Natalia sighed adoringly as she pointed to a photo in a huge book, showing Olivia and Frank.  
  
The two older parents leaned over a bit more to look at one another. In doing so they exchanged a look of 'no way' with each other and just shook their heads in mutual disapproval.  
  
"What?" Natalia asked soundly slightly offended. "I've never had a girl. I want…girly things, okay?!"  
  
"Well, how about fighting gender stereotypes?" Frank suggested. "Here's a baseball one and big brother Rafe would love it," he offered.  
  
"Don't you think it's enough that she's got a daddy and two mommies?" Olivia provided. "I don't mind fighting gender stereotypes, and if she came to me and said, 'Mom, I want baseballs in my room'. I'd be the first one to let her have them. But I can't do that now. She'd grow up…" Olivia looked for the right words.  
  
"Gay?" Frank chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Confused," Olivia said instead.  
  
"Marina loved baseball – and she still does, and SHE'S not gender confused."  
  
"Exactly!" Natalia asked. "So what's the harm in daisies and pink flowers? It won't make her ultra-girly. The nursery is more for the parents than the child anyway."  
  
"Fine," Olivia replied firmly. "I – me, myself and I – I don't want to look at daisies and pink flowers. It's just…"  
  
"Super feminine," Frank offered.  
  
"Yes! Thank you!" Olivia said relieved.  
  
"She is a female," Natalia countered. Olivia and Frank both turned their heads away and held their tongues. "You know," she continued sounding annoyed. "I'm starting to think that bringing you both here together was a bad idea if you're all gonna gang up on me."  
  
"And here come the hormones," Olivia whispered over to Frank, making him grin.  
  
"What?!" Natalia asked. "I am NOT hormonal, okay? This is my first baby daughter and probably my only baby daughter, so I want daisies and pink flowers!"  
  
"So Emma doesn't count then?" Olivia questioned, with a slight tinge of anger.  
  
"And let the estrogen soar," Frank muttered as he tried to hide in his book and flipped another page.  
  
"Of course Emma counts!" Natalia remarked hotly. "But she's not a baby! I can't buy a crib and a high chair for her, now can I?"  
  
"You could," Frank replied, with a grin, "But she probably couldn't fit in them," he added hoping a bit of levity might ease the growing tension. It didn't work and he nervously cleared his throat. "Oh, look!" He pointed after flipping the page in his book. "It's baby jungle animals. That's neutral and kinda cute. Even Emma might like that since she loves animals. What do you think?"  
  
Frank's mind screamed, _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes._  
  
Olivia looked over Natalia to see Frank's book.  
  
"I gotta admit they are kind of cute and it works for a girl or a boy," she answered. "It's not ultra-girly or testosterone laden."  
  
"And they've got the design in everything – high chair, crib bedding, wallpaper, you name it!" Frank said trying to really sell the idea.  
  
Olivia nodded in agreement.  
  
"I like it," she said soundly and then turned to Natalia, "Whatta ya say?"  
  
"You both like this one?" Natalia asked. Frank and Olivia nodded. "Fine," she sighed. "Majority rules."  
  
Olivia smiled. She raised her hand to Frank and said, "Up top."  
  
Frank and Olivia gave each other a high five much to Natalia's annoyance. "Yeah this sharing thing…not sure if it's gonna work out."  
  
"Oh, don't be a grump just because you got overruled," Olivia told her.  
  
Natalia grinned and she put her book down on the coffee table in front of them.  
  
"You know," she began as she stood up. "I have no power over Frank's vote, but I can sway yours. I have something you want, so don't gloat too much, Dear."  
  
Natalia walked over to the assistant and asked for the ladies' room as Frank leaned over to Olivia.  
  
"I think Natalia's learned how to use sex as a weapon," he whispered.  
  
Olivia grinned. "How uncharacteristically astute of you, Frank," she commented just as softly.  
  
"Yeah, well, you better not change your vote. I have a date to get to in," he paused and looked at his watch, "less than an hour. Besides, I like the animals. And Pink flowers? Really? I don't think so – that's why we have to be a united front here, you and I, no caving, for annnnny reason."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I mean it, Olivia," Frank insisted.  
  
"Okaaaay," she whined. After a moment of silence, Olivia asked, "So who's the gal you're meeting? Someone we know?"  
  
"I met her…online," he said reluctantly. At first, Olivia said nothing. "Go ahead. Laugh away."  
  
Olivia just shrugged. "Hey, a little cyber romance is okay in my book. I see those ads on TV all the time about finding a perfect match…Is she cute?"  
  
"I haven't seen her – we've only instant messaged at this point, but I enjoy chatting with her. She's funny and bright and…"  
  
"Might look like Quasimoto?" Olivia asked.  
  
"Or Cindy Crawford – I don't know. Let's just say I'm not that superficial," Frank shot back.  
  
"Oh, and I am?"  
  
"I've never seen you date anyone who's unattractive," Frank countered.  
  
"Present company included?"  
  
"You know what," Frank sighed, "Can we just not talk about this please?"  
  
Olivia shrugged and tossed up her hands as a means of giving up the conversation.  
  
A few seconds later, Natalia returned. She looked at Olivia first and asked, "So jungle animals, is it?"  
  
Olivia looked at Frank, who had a stern look on his face, which was an unspoken warning not to change her vote. Without saying a word she motioned at Natalia's body moving her hands up and down, as if asking him to look at what she'd be missing. He simply shook his head. Olivia's shoulders slumped and she looked at the ground.  
  
"Yes, jungle animals," she answered defeated. She then turned to Frank. "There. Are you happy? Thanks to my scruples, I am now celibate again, damn it."  
  
"Hold on," Natalia said waving her hand. "You think if we don't agree on things I'll withhold sex?"  
  
"You said it yourself, 'I have something you want'," Olivia replied.  
  
"And you assumed sex?"  
  
"What else is there?"  
  
Natalia grinned. "I was talking about doing chores – you know cooking, cleaning, laundry – stuff you HATE to do – which I take care of everyday? Honestly, Olivia, I'd give up many things to make a point, but sex with you isn't one of them. For the first time in my life..." Olivia smiled, but Natalia closed her eyes and pursed her lips, realizing the company she was in. "For the first time in my life, I'm shutting up. Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm shutting up."  
  
"Thank you for that," Frank muttered.  
  
"No problem," Natalia garbled.  
  
Olivia gave her lover a knowing, cocky grin.

 **Epilogue - One year later**  
  
It seemed like everyone in the town had gathered for Shayne's baseball team's semi-final game. Frank and Rafe were playing catch while the Rivera- Spencer family sat on the bleachers. Blake sat next to Emma and Doris was next to Olivia. One tier above them sat Christina, her son and her sister-in-law, Mel.  
  
"I can't stand it anymore! I gotta ask," Doris said in exasperation that got everyone's attention.  
  
"What?" Olivia asked.  
  
Even before Doris asked the question, she was giggling.  
  
"What's up with the big hat?"  
  
She pointed and started to chuckle harder. Natalia began to giggle too.  
  
"I told you," Natalia warned Olivia.  
  
"You hush." Olivia pointed playfully at her wife.  
  
Natalia reached back and lightly slapped Doris's knee. "I told her we're going to a baseball game; _not_ the Kentucky Derby."  
  
Doris and Natalia both laughed harder while Olivia griped indignantly, "Leave my hat alone."  
  
"Mint Jubilees all around, eh?" Doris snorted.  
  
"Heyyyyyy, be nice," Blake whined. "I don't care what they say – I like your hat," she told Olivia.  
  
"Thank you Blake," she replied in a majestic tone.  
  
Doris harrumphed. "This from the woman with no sense of style or taste," she said as she put her hands on Blake's shoulders, giving her a light shake.  
  
"I have fashion sense!" Blake snipped.  
  
"Relax, dear. I know. I'm teasin' to annoy Olivia," Doris whispered as she leaned over to Blake's ear.  
  
In the distance, Frank called over playfully saying, "Doris! Keep your hands off my wife."  
  
Doris pulled her hands back as if Blake was an open flame. But she leaned over and whispered, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him, huh?"  
  
Blake blushed and turned her head away slightly.  
  
Emma looked back at Doris and said, "That's Chessie's step-mommy, Aunt Doris. Plus, I don't think Jamanda would like you hugging Blake too close."  
  
Christina and Mel laughed, as did Blake. Even Doris had to hold back a smile. The mayor put her hands on her hips, trying to appear incensed.  
  
"What are you teaching this child?" she asked Olivia.  
  
"Fidelity," she answered deadpan. Christina and Mel laughed again making everyone smile, except for Doris, who was still trying not to grin. "It's a novel concept – look into it."  
  
"I'm not guilty of anything…" Doris said, trying to sound serious. She then began to grin wider. "…well, not today anyway. Ha!"  
  
"That's it, Emma," Frank called over again. "You keep an eye on Doris for me."  
  
The young girl gave him a thumbs-up.  
  
"It's not just the hat though," Doris continued looking back at Olivia, "It's the shirt too. I mean really? Black?" she added as she pointed to Olivia's shirt. "That's your choice? With a new baby that still projectile vomits you're either brave, crazy or both." The rest of the women on the bleachers began to chuckle again. "Then again, maybe that's the point," she added before beginning her impression of Olivia, "'Here, Natalia. You have to hold the baby. I can't because she might get sick.' You're a tool Spencer," she finished.  
  
"Rafe's homecoming is a special day," Olivia defended. "I don't often get a chance to dress up – at least, not like this."  
  
"Exactly. So why pick…" Doris then waved a exaggerated hand at her attire. When she couldn't come up with a way to describe what she was seeing she simple said, "....this monstrosity?"  
  
Olivia grinned at Doris's ribbing. "I thought you'd like my chapeau – you know, you being an aficionado of _hats_ and all?"  
  
Natalia chuckled. "That was a good one, Hon," she complimented.  
  
"Speaking of," Olivia continued, "do you still have that fedora I saw you in the first time we met at the gay bar?"  
  
"I sure do, and I look damn good in it," Doris defended.  
  
"Okay, I'm confused," Mel said.  
  
"Me too," Christina added. "You met at a gay bar? Did you two date _each other_?"  
  
Olivia and Doris both spoke at the same time with Doris saying, "Oh, hell no!" and Olivia asking, "Are you crazy?" – all of which caused a new round of chuckles from everyone.  
  
"No, it wasn't like that," Olivia continued.  
  
"I don't want to hear this story again," Doris muttered.  
  
The quiet plea meant nothing to Olivia as she continued and said, "I went to a bar that was having a 'ladies night' because I was trying to sort out my feelings for Natalia. So when I turned-."  
  
"Wait," Natalia stopped her, "You told me you didn't know it was a gay bar. You walked in because you thought you'd get a free drink."  
  
"Yeah, I lied," Olivia said casually. She then turned back to Christina and Mel, who giggled at Olivia's cavalier attitude. "Anyway, I walked in-."  
  
"You lied to me?!" Natalia pressed the issue.  
  
"Yes, I lied! If I told you THEN why I went you would have freaked out. I never mentioned it again because I didn't think it was a big deal."  
  
"You went to pick up a woman?" Natalia asked sounding hurt.  
  
"Not really, no," Olivia replied. "I just went-."  
  
"Not really? Either you did or you didn't."  
  
"I didn't." Olivia sighed. "Besides, you and I weren't even a couple then! You were dating Frank. In fact, that was the night he proposed."  
  
"But you said later that you were in love with me at that time," Natalia pressed.  
  
Olivia sighed heavier this time. "Yes, I was. And I didn't hit on anyone _because_ …" she then turned back to Christina and Mel. "Doris comes in wearin' a hat – like she's in disguise. But the thing is, she didn't even bother to pull her hair back like that," she said pointing at her now. "Or tucking it under so people couldn't be sure it was her."  
  
"Yes, I'm very transparent, unlike you, Ms. Secret Keeper, who's hittin' on the gals at Ladies night," Doris teased.  
  
"We're not done discussing this," Natalia warned Olivia.  
  
Olivia opened her mouth in surprise. However, instead of speaking to Natalia, she turned to Doris.  
  
"This is your fault," Olivia said flatly.  
  
Natalia leaned over and shook her head at Blake and silently mouthed, "I don't care" as she shrugged to let her know she was only pulling Olivia's leg. The two friends grinned at each other for a split second as not to give anything away.  
  
Doris chortled. "How is this my fault? You never would have told that story if you didn't show up in _that hat_. Speaking of which…" Doris took it off briskly and held it away from Olivia's outstretched hand.  
  
"Hey!" Olivia complained. "Give me that back!"  
  
"I can't take anything you say seriously while you're wearin' it. It's too distracting."  
  
From the top bleachers, Christina and Mel snickered.  
  
"They're like little kids," Mel added to her sister-in-law, who nodded silently in agreement.  
  
"Give me my hat," Olivia demanded.  
  
"No."  
  
"Give it!"  
  
Olivia reached for it as Doris held it away even further.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Noooo!"  
  
"Girls," Natalia sighed in frustration. "Doris, give Olivia back her Derby hat."  
  
Doris began to fan herself with it, taunting Olivia.  
  
"Boy, it's hot out here," Doris said as she continued to wave the hat. "Wish I had a hat to protect me from the sun. Oh wait!" She then put it on her own head and struck a pose for Olivia.  
  
Having seen enough, Olivia began to stand up, but so did Doris and after a few seconds of plotting their next move, the race was on. Holding the hat to her head, Doris jumped down to the ground, laughing, with Olivia in hot pursuit. Blake smiled and looked at Natalia.  
  
"I bet it's like having four kids at home some days, isn't it?" the book agent asked.  
  
"At least food's not involved this time," Natalia replied optimistically. "I had to spray them both down after an apple pie and Cool Whip fight this summer."  
  
Blake chewed her lip for a moment and then asked, "You? My Sapphic friend? You had to hose off two beautiful lesbians covered in whipped cream?"  
  
Natalia blushed and then looked up at Christina and Mel, who were both trying their hardest not to laugh.  
  
"It's not as sexy as it sounds," Natalia offered, looking up at Christina and Mel. "In fact, it was a pretty big mess."  
  
Olivia and Doris, both barefoot, had just made their third pass around the bleachers, playing keep-away like a couple of schoolgirls. Emma smiled at the pair, oblivious to Blake and Natalia's conversation.  
  
"Emma! Go that way!" Olivia ordered her daughter after Doris put enough ground between them that she couldn't catch her. "I'll go this way and cut her off!"  
  
Emma raced over, but Doris held the hat in the air above her head. She whispered something to Emma and pointed to Rafe. Emma nodded and Doris gave her the hat. Instead of going to Olivia though, Emma raced over to Rafe and started to talk to him.  
  
"Where are you going?!" Olivia yelled to Emma.  
  
Rafe looked over and Doris nodded enthusiastically. Upon doing so, Rafe started to laugh and picked up Emma, who still had the hat in her hand. The three of them – Rafe, Emma and the infamous hat made their way to the tree line, in the distance.  
  
"What did you do?" Olivia asked Doris.  
  
"I told Emma I'd give her and her brother five dollars each if they take that hat to the tree line and 'free it'. If they bury it, they'll get ten."  
  
Olivia wore a look of disbelief mixed with anger. A few seconds later, she yelled out.  
  
"Rafe! Don't you dare!"  
  
Then she began to race after them. Rafe put Emma on the ground and grabbed the hat. He motioned for Emma to keep up as mother and children broke into a run while everyone on the bleachers was laughing.  
  
"You're awful," Natalia condemned Doris with a wag of her finger while still wearing a slight grin.  
  
"Eh, it's good exercise for Liv," she replied as she shrugged.  
  
"Causin' trouble, huh?" Doris recognized the arm that snaked around her waist and the purr of Jamanda's voice behind her.  
  
"Always," she replied as she turned into the woman's embrace and gave her a short, but affectionate, kiss. "I'm glad you made it."  
  
"So am I," Mel told the young woman. "Have you considered the offer Beth and I made?"  
  
"I'm flattered by the invitation to join your new practice," Jamanda began reluctantly.  
  
"I feel a 'but' coming on," Mel told her.  
  
"Buuuuut," Jamanda continued, as she smiled, "I like putting criminals in jail; not defending them, so I'll have to pass. But really…thank you."  
  
"I understand," Mel said sincerely. "It's disappointing, but… I do understand."  
  
Doris smiled proudly. "I'm impressed. You didn't get wooed by the almighty dollar."  
  
"Please," she said swatting Doris's arm, "like I have to worry about money. Haven't you heard the gossip after last night's mayoral debate where you kicked butt? I've got a lesbo sugar mama to take care of me." Doris chuckled and shook her head, even as Jamanda nuzzled into Doris's neck, giving it a few light nips. "Come on," Jamanda continued, "Why should Liv get all the age jokes?" She then began to look around. "She’s…"  
  
"She's tracking down her hat," Natalia said as she pointed out to the tree line where Olivia had finally managed to catch up to Rafe and Emma.  
  
"Emma Spencer and Raphael Rivera!" Olivia said authoritatively when she got close enough. "You stop right there!"  
  
Emma and Rafe came to a grinding halt as Olivia closed the distance.  
  
"Tell you what, Munchkin," Rafe told his stepsister. "I'll give you twenty dollars if you get Ma's keys and put your Mom's hat in the car for the rest of the day. Okay?"  
  
"Deal!" Emma said. He gave her the hat first and then reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty. "Go on," he told her as he handed it over. "We'll catch up."  
  
Emma took off running, hat and money in hand, as Rafe motioned for Olivia to follow him.  
  
"I'll give you the twenty back," she told him as they began to walk back.  
  
"Don't worry about it," he replied. "I just wanted the chance to talk to you."  
  
"About?"  
  
"You and Ma."  
  
Olivia held her breath for a moment. "What about us?"  
  
Rafe turned to toward her for a moment. "She glows and the last time I saw her this happy was with my dad and even then…"  
  
She watched for a moment to see if he'd continue the thought. When he didn't she asked, "What?" in a quiet tone.  
  
He began to grin, ever so slightly.  
  
"She wasn't as happy as she is now… She has the life she's always deserved, the one I hoped she'd have someday."  
  
"And what life would that be exactly?" Olivia tentatively asked.  
  
"For starters? Not having to work a job, let alone three."  
  
"But she does work, Rafe – very hard, in fact. You might find this hard to believe," Olivia began, sounding conspiratorial, "but taking care of me, Emma and Francesca isn't easy – it really is a full-time job." Rafe was going to explain, but Olivia held up her hand. "But I know what you mean," she added with a smile. "She's not worried about making the rent payment or how she's going to pay to feed Emma lunch each week."  
  
"Exactly. She's finally…settled. Ya know? But it's not just the financial security. She lights up around you, and I've never seen her smile more. Honestly, she just …smiles… even while she's sitting there next to you. I've-I've never seen her have that kind of happiness." Olivia simply nodded. "Chessie is one reason, but you and Emma are the others. I see that… So I just wanted to say thank you for keeping your word and taking care of her… and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. I just…"  
  
"You'd always been taught one thing, Rafe. Religious beliefs can be a huge hurdle – one that I wasn't sure your mom would get over," Olivia replied.  
  
"That's not it, not when you get down to it," he replied. "It wasn't about religion as much as it was about, well, you. You tried to steal my dad and everything that he wanted us to have – the house, her rings, you name it. You were…"  
  
"A bitch?"  
  
Rafe grinned. "A bitchy barracuda, just devouring whatever you wanted…And when I saw you two together it felt like…you wanted to steal her away from me. For years, it was the two of us against the world, and I didn't mind when we found Gus because he was my dad. I wanted to know him."  
  
"So you didn't want to know the woman who tried to wreck that life? How dare you?" Olivia offered with a grin. Rafe just nodded with a slight smile. "Look Rafe, I don't blame you for feeling that way. But I have to be honest here… I do blame you for not opening your mind sooner to the possibility that I DO make your mother happy. And I DO blame you for making your mother feel terrible for finding love and for trying to make me feel guilty. You said some incredibly hurtful things – to both of us."  
  
"I know," Rafe said in shame, all arrogance gone from the statement. "And I can't take them back any more than you can take back trying to steal my dad. But can we start here? I'll tell you now, I don't think I'll ever see you as a mom, like Emma sees Ma, but maybe…"  
  
"We can be cordial?"  
  
"At the very least," he replied.  
  
Olivia just shrugged, not sure what to say at first. "Well, you're a big part of your Moms' happiness too, Rafe. She loves you. We all do. And I know you've got two years left, but when your tour's up, you'll have a place to stay while you go to college – if that's what you want. I'm not pressuring you by the way – I'm just extending an offer. I don't want you to think that you're excluded from this family, not even for a minute."  
  
"And I appreciate that," he said as she slipped his arm around her waist. Olivia, in turn, put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
From the bleachers, Natalia's face was a caldron of swirling emotions. There was a bit of uncertainty, as if she wasn't sure what she was witnessing was real, but then true joy took hold when she realized it was legitimate. She found her smile was growing as she watched both of them approach wearing smiles as well.  
  
They stopped in front of her. Rafe released Olivia and held out his arms.  
  
"You mind if I hang out with my baby sis for a little bit?" Rafe asked as he shook his arms slightly, waiting for the baby. Natalia didn't move at first. She was still thunderstruck by what she witnessed between Rafe and Olivia. "Ma?" he prompted.  
  
"Sorry," she said with a slight jerk. "Sure," she said as she held Francesca up so Rafe could get a firm hold.  
  
Once Rafe had his sister well in hand, Natalia reached over and took Olivia by hers, leading her away for a bit of privacy.  
  
"Okay," she began, "what just happened there?"  
  
At first, Olivia smiled as she watched Rafe making over Francesca before turning to Natalia. She took her by the hips and pulled her closer.  
  
"He grew up," Olivia said proudly. "He's living up to his word of wanting what makes you happy. And he sees that I make you happy…I mean, I do, don't I?"  
  
Natalia still seemed to be in a fog. "Huh?"  
  
Olivia smiled at Natalia's flustered demeanor. "You're adorable," she muttered and leaned her forehead down to Natalia's. In a louder voice she said, "I asked, do I make you happy?"  
  
Natalia smiled sweetly, her eyes searching Olivia's face and then settling on her lips. She kissed Olivia gently and in a soft voice said, "I've never been this happy."  
  
Olivia took Natalia's face in her hands. Her thumbs lightly caressed her cheeks as she looked deeply into the brown eyes that conveyed so much passion and promise.  
  
"Good…" Olivia cooed. "That makes two of us."  
  
 **The End**


End file.
